My wedding is this Saturday. We are having a casual brunch wedding. My FH family is driving me crazy and I am afraid they are going to ruin everything and it’s causing us to fight.
Background: My family is Jewish. His family is Kenyan. Both sides have traditions in weddings but we decided to keep the wedding non religious. My parents are paying for about half of the wedding and the rest is on us to pay.
From the beginning his family has caused issues. They told other relatives about the wedding and FH kept getting calls and messages asking why people weren’t invited and his family made him feel bad for not inviting certain people. So FH kept adding more people. We are at 82 people when our original guest list was 65. I’m over that part at this point. 50 his side and 30 mine.
So this morning, FH tells me he got a message from his uncle (like his father since his father passed) telling (not asking) him that his cousin will be singing a traditional Kenyan song. Fine. Then he says there will be a few speakers and prayers. And I lost my mind.
There is no no way I am going to allow one side to have religious prayers and not the other side. My family would be so mad because I told them no.
My FH always tries to make everyone happy. It’s one of the reasons I love him so much. He says he will handle but last time he “handled” we invited an extra 10 people. I cant jump in because I don’t know this uncle well so I need to rely on FH to handle. I told FH there will be no speeches or speakers other than MOH and BM. I will not have our guests sit through more than that. Although FH agrees with me he tends to be a pushover with his family. He is already saying “well your family can give speeches too”.
And to add to the stress, I talked to my parents who said that if his family turns it religious they will be offended and not happy.
I’m not really asking for advice- maybe just venting. I don’t think I’m being ridiculous but feel free to tell me I am. I am willing to compromise and have the Kenyan song played, but I’m drawing the line with everything else. It’s turned into a family reunion for his family and I’m angry.
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