My family sucks

I'm sorry. Elopement?

I understand! My parents are divorced and my sister refuses to speak to my mother. So, I’m forced to choose between inviting my dad/sister or my mom. It sucks when your family makes things difficult. Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do except try to make yourself happy on your wedding day. I definitely considered eloping, but we decided it wouldn’t be the best answer for other reasons...

Theyre adults and should be able to put their feelings aside for one day for their daughters wedding. My wedding was the first time my parents had seen each other in 10 years after their nasty divorce. They just ignored each other and it was fine.

I would put them all on notice that I wanted them all at my wedding, that I was going to invite them all, and that I expected them to behave like civil adults at my wedding.

Anyone who says they won't come if so and so comes, is welcome not to come. There will be no emotional blackmail.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I would recommend, at some point before your wedding, you sit down with each of your parents and lovingly tell them "you and _____ are both very important to me and I love you both very much. It would mean the world to me if for one day you can put your differences aside so that I can spend my wedding day celebrating with both of you." And if there are other family members on either side that express tension, give then the same talk. Both sides if your family are important to you. Make them understand you are just asking for one day and you are asking it as a favor to you, not a favor to the other. You don't need then to be buddy-buddy and attached at the hip. They can spend most of their time on opposite sides of the venue. You just want everyone to be polite and civil when they cross paths with someone from the other side.

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I am a divorced parent and I can not imagine talking to my kids this way nor treating them so shabbily over what will be (hopefully) the best day of their lives!

Advice? Come up with a budget that you and fiance can afford. No money from parents equals no blackmail, They are already doing this, money will only fuel it.

Invite both, if they come, they come. If not, THEIR LOSS.

I am very sorry your parents are sucking the joy out of your day.

View Quoted Comment Thank you thats im probably this is probably what im going to do.

View Quoted Comment Lol i wish

I'm sorry you are going through this. My husband and I had debated on eloping before family drama because it appealed to us, then a bunch of family drama happened. We then decided to elope. We don't regret our decision at all. No drama on our day at all. The day was completely about us! If this is something that appeals to you I highly suggest you consider it. If you still want your wedding then you should still go for it and try to have a heart to heart with your parents.

View Quoted Comment I agree. They should be able to put their feelings aside for one day.