My family is guilt tripping me

Is it too late for you to go with your original plan? If I were you and that was my original goal I would revisit the idea. It's ridiculous that your mom is acting that way. It's not as though you are expecting her to just throw you a wedding...she volunteered and pressured you into it. it's not worth the hassle and headache you will go through for you to just be unhappy with the end result. I am going through all of the hassles of wedding planning because I want to have a wedding. Good luck and stick up for yourself!

Don't fret, this will be over before you know it. Right, now it's the Holiday season & most people is trying to stretch their budget. I'm sure, it's the Holiday season that is causing her to panic. See if there's anything that you could help with regarding the holiday.

In the meantime, try to help out with a few DIY projects. Good luck

I would elope too. That sounds like a lot of stress that you never wanted in the first place and never signed up for.

I'm all fro eloping and pay your parents back over time as you get it for things that can't be refunded!

I am in a similar situation, wanted a small DW but my mother wanted this expensive fancy wedding, so I let her have it. I have the opposite problem, I think she is spending to much money.

The only thing you can really do is talk to her. Maybe if you haven't already set up the budget tool on here, do that and show her the breakdown as to how much you should spend on different things.

Worst situation is you don't take her money and you either take the money you set aside for Scotland and pay for the things you want yourself, or you throw in the towel and elope anyway.

I would reimburse her for an deposits and Elope like you wanted. Let her buy a ticket to Scotland if she wants to see the actual ceremony.

Sorry she is making you feel bad about having the wedding she wants you to have.

Just talked to my FH. He says eloping is no longer an option. We've already sent out our save the dates and he's adamant that there's no turning back now- we're having a wedding with all of our friends and family there.

Thank her for offering to pay for your wedding, and let her know you eloped.

I would ask her to just give you the money that she agreed to and you will budget accordingly. Tell her it is too time consuming to have to plan every detail and negotiate everything with her instead of just making a simple purchase. Reassure her that you will keep her in the loop and considerations for any big purchases.

That, or everytime she mentions what you pay for something, just say, "weddings are expensive and you wanted me to do one here, and that is what it costs." Eventually she will bite her tounge.

I would sit down and talk with her about it and ask if the budget has changed, see if there are some areas that you can cut the budget back a little and try to help out and work with her. As a mom sometimes I agree to things and then life gets in the way and rather than tell my kids no I stress out and try to make things happen instead of just discussing it with them, then I vent because I'm so stressed trying to be a great mom.

MY FI and I are paying for half of it ourselves and my dad is helping with the really big expenses like venue and food, he's been really supportive but my mom is like "why is everything so expensive? why do you have to spend this much? my wedding didn't cost this much" she doesn't realize that things have changed drastically since she got married so this may be what's going on here.

If you say its too late to elope now you can either sit down with her and go over the budget and what has been spent so far, item by item and explain to her why things cost what they do. If that doesn't work you may have to just thank her for her financial support so far and pay for the rest of the wedding yourself.

I agree with @LetItSnow You could say you spent 100 dollars dress for a 500 dollar dress, and spent a little extra on an area you save that they would "approve on" (like food or alcohol).

Since your FH has said it's too late to change, I also think you need to sit down with your mom (and have your FH there) and talk about the budget again. Tell her your concerns and tell her you gave up your dream of eloping in a Scottish castle. Ask your mom again what her expectations are.

Do you have a venue booked? If you don't I'd say it's not to late personally.

Do you have a venue booked? If you don't I'd say it's not to late personally.

Run away! Go to Scotland, it's beautiful! Do It!!!!

If need be, save the dates aren't a show stopper. Weddings get cancelled or moved all the time. The more important thing is finding out if your vendors will cancel without charge, or with only minimal charge. If you think this is feasible and you really want to elope, DO IT, take the leap.

Otherwise, if you are going to stick it out with your mother, be straight forward with her. As respectfully as possible remind her that you did not want this wedding; that she was the one who insisted you have a "real" wedding; and she is the one who pre-approved the budget. If she's not happy with it then she should have just let you elope. Make sure she understands that she did this to herself.

Go with the original idea. She offered and I would remind her that. I would just casually say " if this is to much for you why don't we just go back to my idea of having a DW." See what she says.

I would have a sit down with her first. Explain that she offered to pay, she approved the budget and you are sticking with that budget.

Remind her that you changed your DW idea for her and she's making you feel awful. Be respectful, but let her know that she asked for and approved everything.

I'm sorry you FH doesn't want to elope now BUT std aren't a big deal really. If you want to have your dream wedding do that because at the end of the day, it's about you and your FH.

As for the rest of your family, they REALLy don't have a say in this situation. It's not their money or wedding, and should keep it to themselves.

Good luck and I hope it all works out.