My dad wants me to elope...

It sounds like your dad is focusing more on himself and his own discomfort...I think it's really selfish of him to try to convince you to elope so that he won't have to see his ex wife.

Try to remind him of your little girl days when you first started dreaming about your wedding...hopefully he'll start to see that the wedding is supposed to be a day for you and your love, not him and his personal drama. If your mom can be an adult, so can he. I would point out that SHE is willing; maybe it'll make him understand a bit more...

I'm sorry

Honestly i was seriously direct when dealing with my mom in a similar situation. I did want her to be at my wedding but she kep being completely selfish and basically was saying "If any of your dads family tries to start anything or gives me dirty looks i'm not gonna take it." I kept trying to tell her, that it's a wedding and a family, happy occassion. They will all be there to support our marriage and be happy for us, why would they go to try to start shit? She didn't get and in the end just ended up not going. It was for the best honestly.

It sucks that he is being selfish but you need to make him understand that he should be focused on the positive aspect of the wedding and that everybody is going to be civil. If he can't understand any of that then i would definitely confront him and let him know you are going to do what is best for you and your FH and what will make you happy. If he can't honor that then he is not being supportive, just selfish. That's what i would say. Also let him know that he's not oging to be forced to come in contact with them if he doesn't want to.

I'm sorry your dad is being like that, it's not fair to you. I could understand his discomfort but he should be able to put it aside and let you guys have your day the way you want it. I would keep trying to talk to him about it and maybe he will cave. Hope it all works out for you guys!

I have two ex step parents on my side, two new parents, and FH has one new parent. It's not your job to make peace. It's not your problem if there is drama! If they or anyone chooses to act out or be aggressive it's not on your head. Your job is to be graceful and spend equal amounts of time with each parental unit(s). It's not your responsibility to play referee, so don't even put your energy there. I'm sorry it's awkward and sticky, but having all your lives ones in one place is priceless whatever the ego cost

Thanks so much for the advice!

Wanna trade places? We had planned to elope but my father (and his mom) threw a fit!! Do what YOU want, I wish I did.

I'm so sorry your dad isn't being supportive of your plans. Plan what you want, invite who you want, and ask a family friend to be ready to escort out anyone who can't behave.