I've been engaged for two months. My fiancé and I have been dating since last April. I have a 10 month old daughter from my ex-fiancé who wants nothing to do with her, and she calls my current fiancé daddy.
My dad came to me today and said that he wants me to think before marrying my fiancé, because:
1) He's "not a go-getter like some of my previous relationships". It's true, my fiancé has a learning disability and isn't an "entrepreneur" like previous men I've dated. He says it himself. Before him I dated a man who was on the Titan Games, a man who made $30 million from selling his business, a few soldiers, a doctor, a successful gym owner, and a firefighter who owned a 40 acre farm and ran his own vacation rental business on the side to make $200,000 per year. All of these men wanted a future with me, but their "love" for me burnt out quickly and they all treated me like I was nothing by the end of the relationship. My fiancé on the other hand has never not given me what I want and has never made me feel "alone". After fights (which are never like the fights I've had in other relationships), he never gives me the silent treatment, always calls me and reaches a compromise. It's like I never knew a man could behave this way. But my dad's point is he works in a factory, and may go into a trade job.
2) He's a "country boy" according to my dad, and less educated than me. I went to college, he didn't. But my fiancé has my values and I tried to explain to my dad that I was looking for a man from the country because I want farm animals, acreage, a big family and to be out of the city. My dad said this might rub off on my daughter, but I know my fiancé wants our kids in church, homeschooled, outdoors, playing sports, etc. He has my values. For a high school degree he also knows a lot more history than most of my peers in the phd history program I was in.
3) My dad thinks he "will be provider for me". Right now my fiancé actually makes more money than I do. My fiancé lives with his mom, but it's more like she moved out by him and she couldn't afford a good place alone, so they split rent and utilities. The only potential problem I see is if I get laid off and can no longer work from home, I would be really upset that I couldn't homeschool the kids. My fiancé's plan is to rent, then put money down for a little house, then rent it out to pay off the next bigger house.
My dad didn't give me a chance to respond, and said that if I choose to marry him he'll be happy either way and my fiancé will be like a son to him. But honestly, I'm bothered because my dad has pushed me into relationships before with more financially successful men who did nothing but play games with me. I've never had anyone treat me like my fiancé does. On top of that, my fiancé really cares about my family and tries to help and do good to each one of my siblings (which none of my exes ever did). My parents haven't announced our engagement to our family friends online like I've asked (I don't have social media and people are curious). My mom's close sister came up to me on Thanks Giving and said, "No matter what you do, I hope you make the choice that makes you happy" regarding my fiancé.
Does anyone have any advice on how to get my family to be more accepting? or better yet, set boundaries with them? It angers me because my fiancé asked for my father's blessing before he asked, and my dad said yes. When he asked me to marry him, I said yes. I feel like that's final. I find it insulting when they think I'm going to go back on my commitment or that I'm still thinking about it.