My Dad is getting remarried...

And before anyone gets any weird ideas...no she is not pregnant!

It seems like he has known her for a long time and 8 months seems an appropriate amount of time for dating. If you like her, I would be happy for them. 2010 could be a joyous time for you both. Remember, life is what happens, while you are making plans. Good luck.

My dad's 2nd wife died valentine's day 2001. he dated here and there for a number of years then he met his current wife. they met in june or july and he proposed to her in october. and they've been happily married for about 4 years now. i think once you get to a certain age, it really doesn't take that long to know.

I'm w/ladylee on this one. I think when you're older and have been through so much like your dad has that it doesn't take as long to know if it's going to work or not.

Did they set a date? Maybe he was telling you he's purposing to her but may not get married til the end of this year or maybe even next year sometime. That will add on to the dating part.

I too agree with the ladies that maybe, when you are older and went through love and all this before, you just know it's right.

If you like her and get along with her, and know it's real as she's not perssuring him to (money wise or anything else) then be happy for them.. and hey-best friend now becomes your sister..

that part would be awesome for me.. :-D

I do like her very much, I'm assuming none of you have lost your mother at a younger age. I hope you havnt at least. If different when you loose your mom compared to your parents getting a divorce....

Well i was in my 20s when my stepmom died but we were extremely close. i was just happy that my dad had found companionship and i could stop worrying about him being alone. prior to that, i was really considering moving back home (900 miles) so he wouldn't be there by himself.

Mrshenry, i'm really sorry for your loss. and while i'm sure your father still feels saddened by his loss, this is part of him moving on. i mean, at least you know her. and you get along with her kid(s)!so while you feel it's possibly too soon, it's quite possible that your father and she feel they've waited too long. it's also quite possible(not to hurt you here), but that they were already seeing each other before the last 8 months, but they didn't know how to break it to everyone.i agree, when you're a certain age, it just doesn't matter anymore. FMIL div'd FFIL, and 2 or 3 years later met her current husband. they dated 6 months to the day before marrying, and only KNEW each other 8 months total. and they've been together happily for 16 years, i believe...i know it's different,when your parent is deceased. my sibs consider their dad dead(he's about to go to prison for life), and moms getting married this fall. my sibs, who are younger, couldn't be happier, i'm happy for all of them

No they didnt know each other. I understand you can "know" its time with someone after a short amount of time and no they were not dating before that. Also I might add that since my dad started dating after my mom died, and no thats not the same as losing a stem mother....well anyway after my mom died every girl he dated he fell for FAST and they were always the "one" or I guess next one...he moves VERY fast with each of them and eventually one of both of them would get sick of being together every moment of every day and would break up. one of them moved in after 3 weeks of them even meeting, she lived in New york and he moved her down here. After my entire family telling him she was after his money and life insurance he finally got rid of her and now this? I just dont think it will last...I want him to be happy and not alone but I dont see the need in rushing something when every thing prior was a rush...thats all...

Not to beat a dead horse but i was closer to my stepmom than i was to either of my biological parents so it was a hard loss.

ok so that makes sense. i understand your concern now. did you voice your concerns to your dad? what are their plans? have they made any definite plans? has he already proposed or was he simply informing you guys of his intent.

My mother died when I was 7 in an emergency room hallway while doctors refused to pay any attention to her.... so I get it. I agree with PP in that I do think it takes older people less time to know if they are going to be compatible or not....

I used to be shaky about my dad getting married.... I love his current GF and even though it's always hard to think about a remarriage after one of your parents has died I wish he would stop wasting time and marry her (I think he might after I get married). Every once and awhile I just sit and think of him alone.... growing old while my sister and I try to remain close with him but we are busy with our own kids and careers. I cry every time I think about it because I don't want that for him... Maybe try to think about that. I know it's not easy but it may be what's best for him

Oh and also... keep in mind that even though it's not easy since he is your senior your dad WILL end up resenting you if you get in the way of the marriage (even if you think you are doing what is genuinely right for him). I think that in order to maintain your relationship with him you should just give him your support and if you are concerned about financial issues then be sure to monitor that as you go along.

I am in no way getting in the way of his relationship, I would never tell him what I really think b/c I want him to be very happy and I do really love his gf. I just needed to vent b/c I was having a hard day and though I would get some support...but I guess I'm wrong in the matter and I should just suck it up and deal..

It's not that you are "wrong".. it's how you feel and no one can tell you that your feelings are wrong. I really do understand where you are coming from. My dad dated a bunch of women after my mom died, trying to fill the void left I guess. It definitely takes awhile to get used to the idea that you will have a step parent, especially when you have lost a parent. I know that it is hard but it sounds like you really care about your father and I am SURE that you two will be able to work things out so he has a better understanding of you and how you are dealing with this. Just be fair to him and to yourself and give yourself some time.... you deserve it. *hugs*

Thank you not-so-bridezilla!

My best friend (whom is more like a twin sister) lost her mom to cancer when we were 10. Her mom raised me for the most part. She watched me from 7am-7pm every day and my mom wasn't around at all...(just so you know I know how you feel) The two of us would chase any woman away as soon as her dad brought one home. When he found a girl he wanted to marry we liked her but we didn't like the idea of him getting remarried. To us it seemed he was replacing Susie. It was hard. Its totally okay to feel the way you are. I think it could help if you talk about it with him or maybe your brother. It helps to get the emotions off your chest. I wish you the very best! *Hug*