My Dad has decided he's not coming to my wedding

Plenty of people do spotlight dances with other loved ones, it doesn't have to be with a parent. If I'm being honest, more of my friends have absent fathers than not. I would imagine the emcee will say something like "now the bride will share a dance with __, the grandfather of the groom." Your close friends and family will already know by then that your father isn't there, and I don't think anyone else would have the nerve to ask about him.

We didn't announce our dances, H danced with his mom and I danced with my brother (we lost my dad several years before the wedding). If you wanted to, though, you could just have the DJ announce that the "special dances" will be happening, rather than stating with whom you are dancing.

I think that it's an incredibly sweet offer for your FH grandfather to make, and I also think it demonstrates how much his family loves and accepts you, which is beautiful.

It’s really sweet of your FH’s family to be so selfless and thoughtful of your feelings. The great thing is, it’s your wedding, so you get to have things done and announced in whatever way you’re most comfortable. You could spin it as a symbol and celebration of your families joining together; there’s genuine beauty in FH’s family’s support of you.

I also won't have a father figure at my wedding (my grandfather and eldest brother passed away a few years back and my next eldest brother can't make it due to being in another state with a new job). I'm considering asking an older friend I have that's been like a mentor to me to fill that role. I don't see it as highlighting the fact that most of my father figures have passed away, but rather showcasing the people I've chosen to be in my life as family. Family is more than your blood relatives. However, if you don't like the idea, it is ultimately your wedding and you shouldn't do anything you're uncomfortable with.

If it were me, I would just skip the father daughter dance then maybe have the DJ play some slower songs during dancing where you can share dances with the male members of your fiance's family.

That is so sweet of him!

How about "Welcome to the Family Dance"

My father will not be at my wedding. Although my mother and brother are walking me down the aisle, my FW and I decided against doing dances with family or special dances with anyone except for each other. Not sure what your situation is, but the wound is still a bit fresh for me and we didn't want to feel obligated by tradition to do a dance that doesn't hold much symbolism for us.

Everyone is different, and it should be a personal choice you make. If I attended your wedding, I wouldn't think twice over you dancing with your FH's grandfather. How the dance goes is up to you. A classic waltz is would work if all else fails, or an instrumental.

Could you dance with your mom?

My dad isn't coming to my wedding either. It sucks, but as my therapist reminded me it is a reflection of him, not you.

Dance with whomever you want, announce it or don't, or skip them altogether. It's your day, enjoy it.

My uncle and I are dancing the father/daughter dance, and he is walking me down the aisle. I'm not inviting my father, he's not a good person. If I didn't have my uncle or my brothers, I would ask my fiance's dad to do all that to find a way to blend our families together. Can you ask your FIL?

That is so sweet that he offered to dance with you....I love that! Do you have any brothers? My FH's mom sadly passed away so he's going to dance with his sisters during the "Mother Son" dance; individual dances for like 1 minute each (there's 3 of them). He's very close with all of them and he's the baby.