Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

K
Just Said Yes September 2020

My Brothers wedding is right after mine

Katie, on August 4, 2020 at 11:35 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7
Saved
Reply
So I got engaged in June and we are having our wedding on September 5th in Utah. We live in Maryland and my parents/grandma live in Colorado and my fiancé’s family is all in Utah. My little brother just got engaged last week and they are planning their wedding for October in Idaho. Initially it didn’t bother me at all but now I’m thinking about the logistics of it and it’s really poor timing. My grandma already said she doesn’t want to have to travel twice in such a short time frame (she is 82 and doesn’t walk well). She is disappointed my brother chose a date so close to mine. And with my fiancé and I spending money on the wedding and moving into a new apartment, it’s not easy for us to spend another couple of hundreds of dollars on flying back out to Idaho a month later. Also, I’m worried about the financial burden on my parents. Having only 3 children and 2 of them getting married so close together will be a burden on them. I wish my brother thought about this in advanced, but my future SIL already had the date picked out before he even proposed. I’m just kind of frustrated about it and I don’t want to not go to my brothers wedding but I don’t want to start our marriage off already stressing about finances.

7 Comments

Latest activity by Leanne, on August 4, 2020 at 12:48 PM
  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    It's a bit of poor planning timing wise on your brother and SIL's part, but they're entitled to get married whenever they please. If you can't go due to finances, then you can't go. Your brother will have to be the one dealing with issue of guests not wanting to travel for his wedding if they feel as though it's too close. As far as the financial burden, I wouldn't make that your concern. Your parents can spend their money as they see fit. If they don't have the financial resources to help you and your brother so close together, then they can tell him as such, or if they decide to help anyway, they can figure out how to deal with those consequences. Maybe your brother and SIL are paying for their own wedding. Anyway I see it, however, the only thing you should focus on in regards to your brother's wedding is whether you will be able to afford tickets to go. If you don't, send your condolences. The rest are decisions that other adults can make for themselves.

    • Reply
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    If anything maybe you could just go. I don’t personally believe that both husband and wife just because they’re invited have to both go. For instance I completely understand what you mean by being financially strained that’s kind of why only I’m going to my best friends wedding because I’m actually in the wedding and my husband is staying home otherwise we would have to spend money on two flight tickets and get a hotel instead of me just staying at her couch. And overall that was just more $ I didn’t want to spend.


    That does kind of suck though that it would be a lot of inconvenience on your families to travel so much in such a short time. I hope everything works out!
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    If you can't afford to travel to your brother's wedding, then you should feel OK to decline. It's not safe to be traveling around the country currently anyway. But I would also try to stop working about the consequences of your brother's decision on other people. You are not responsible for his or anyone else's choices.

    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I didn't see your post before I wrote mine, but I could have just said, "ditto." Smiley laugh

    • Reply
  • Maureen
    Devoted November 2021
    Maureen ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    This exact thing happened to me. My sister and I were both engaged, when she was supposed to get married in March and didn’t because of Covid, she was going to move it to November because that was all that was left available for 2020, but realized my wedding date of 10/25 was super close to it, and didn’t want our entire family to fly twice in a 3 week span, so she moved it to January 30. And then when I was looking at a new date because of Covid, I had to nix out February because it was too close to her January date. I understand you can get married whenever you want, but I guess I just considered guests since a lot traveling could of been so close.


    This might be a touchy subject for your brother and SIL, but if they haven’t signed the contract for the venue/date yet, maybe ask to see if they can move a little further out? When my sister and I were discussing dates so close, my mom kinda was the referee in the middle and I now see she was right, picking dates close to each other can be a lot for guests.
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Honestly, my bigger concern would be all of this cross-country travel right now. Utah is a big hotspot state, and I thought that the current travel restrictions for Maryland residents included Idaho? In my opinion, asking your 82-year old grandmother to travel across the country to 2 hotspot areas in the span of 2 months could potentially be a recipe for disaster. Certainly part of this is poor planning on your brother's part, but I would also consider rethinking the logistics of having so many people travel to Utah for your wedding as early as September 5. I know this is obviously not what you want to hear, and I'm very sorry you have to deal with this Smiley sad

    • Reply
  • Leanne
    Super September 2020
    Leanne ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I had something similar to this with my sister last year. But then mine ended up being postponed so less of an issue. 🙃
    That being said, I think just be honest with them and just focus on what you can/can’t do and let everyone work it out on their own.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

The Best Black Friday and Cyber Monday Deals for Your Wedding
Wedding Services The Best Black Friday and Cyber Monday Deals for Your... The holiday season is the perfect time to score wedding deals. These Cyber...
The Ultimate Guide to Greek Wedding Dances
Speeches & Traditions The Ultimate Guide to Greek Wedding Dances Rompi Rompi to Mavi Mavi, kick off your shoes and get ready to review classic...
7 Ways to Learn More About Wedding Vendors
Trends & Tips 7 Ways to Learn More About Wedding Vendors It can be tough to narrow down the long list of wedding vendors near you, but...
Read more articles
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics