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Just Said Yes June 2019

My brother is planning his wedding 3 weeks from my wedding

kathryn, on May 6, 2018 at 6:25 PM Posted in Planning 0 17
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I got engaged on a vacation , and 10 days later my 1 year younger brother proposed to his long term girlfriend. Shortly after we set a date-6 22 19 (only available date next summer at the venue is 6 22 19) My brother is now planning his wedding for end of May-early June 2019 (3 few weeks before my wedding) because they want an "early summer wedding". I asked them not to do it so close to mine and suggested August/Sept to space them out a bit (they are getting married in a park outside (picnic wedding) so venue date doesn't really matter) I don't want this to be a financial burden on our family (back to back weddings , gifts, travel, outfits etc) Plus I said 3 weekends before my wedding I think I'll be really busy (I'm making my center pieces and decorations ) and I don't want to worry about my brothers wedding

my family all asked for them to space it out too. this is the first wedding in our family in 6 years - so no need to make them back to back (and no other potential weddings in the next few years)

My brother and his fiance told me i don't control the calendar , and their wedding will be small so it doesn't matter so they will get married when they want. I am furious ! I seriously feel like they are trying to upstage me since their engagement was so close to mine, and now they are setting their date so close to mine) what is everyone's thoughts on this ?

17 Comments

Latest activity by Kristina, on May 7, 2018 at 7:17 AM
  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    There is nothing you can do about it. Does it suck? Yup! Especially since the family has come together to ask them to reconsider. But don’t be furious, nothing good comes from that. Don’t let them take up your brain space, keep your plans to yourself and keep it moving.
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  • Adrianna
    Expert June 2018
    Adrianna ·
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    Ummmmm this is THEIR day! It's rude to try to change their mind about their wedding and their choices.
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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    They have every right to chose the date they want. Don't be involved in their wedding. Go to it and enjoy the day but don't dwell on this. It will only cause stress and drama
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  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    kathryn ·
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    I want to point out that my main concern is now our family has to have the expense of going to 2 family weddings 3 weeks apart. for example we have cousins far away - do they now have to choose whose wedding? do we expect them to come to both ?
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  • Heather
    VIP January 2019
    Heather ·
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    Honestly if they asked you to move your wedding you would rightfully think it rude. It is rude to ask someone else to plan around your wishes and desires. Normally proposals are planned out in advance, so his proposal probably had nothing to do with you. Many people know the season they want to get married long before they are engaged, so if they want an early summer wedding, they can have an early summer wedding. The time of year can be as important to them as your venue is to you.
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  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    kathryn ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    She bought the ring herself . she planned the proposal.

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  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    kathryn ·
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    She bought the ring herself AFTER I got engaged and he proposed a few days later
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  • A
    Super February 2019
    Amy ·
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    Normally most take into consideration their VIPs if they really want their loved ones there. It sounds like the VIPs actually said this would be problematic and they are going ahead with it anyway- so if i were a VIP invited to both weddings and knew I couldn't make both, I'd go to the one set first because I'd made my difficulty known early on.

    Sure they get to pick any date they want but still rude if they expect the attendance of the guests who now have had their reasonable requests ignored.

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  • LoveisfortheByrds
    Dedicated July 2018
    LoveisfortheByrds ·
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    Background: my younger brother got engaged in October of 2015, I got engaged in a July of 2016. They had planned for an August 2017 wedding so we pushed ours to July of 2018 primarily for our family’s sake. They cancelled 3 weeks before theirs and then in December of last year started replanting...for May 2018. 9 weeks before mine. 4 weeks before my shower.

    It sucks. Like I had a reallllly hard time. My mother tried to get them to reconsider their timeline. You’re allowed to be upset. I don’t care what anyone else says. You invite your original guest list. They can invite theirs. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do for the guests. My brother got married yesterday. I was in the bridal party and was super stressed because a lot of drama surrounded it and it got to me. But my fiancé and I also got a lot of “we can’t wait for your day” as well as congratulations and well wishes from others. You can be angry and mad and hurt but at the end of it, it’s still family so be happy for them and present when needed. But more importantly keep your focus on your day!
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  • L
    Dedicated July 2018
    Lisa ·
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    I would be mad too but there isnt really anything you can do about it. My daughter got engaged 3 days after me and is getting married 6 weeks later. Everyone in the family tried to talk her out of it. There is other circumstances why we dont want her to get married but there isnt anything I can do about it.
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  • Audrey
    Devoted October 2018
    Audrey ·
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    It’s okay. I’m kind of in a similar situation but not. FH got engaged last summer and picked October 19, 2018 to get married. This date was picked at the end of August. Mom gets engaged NYE. Decides to have a bigger (85 people) wedding in May 19, 2018. There’s so much more to this story, but it’s annoying as heck and I understand.
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  • J
    Beginner June 2025
    Jennifer ·
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    I'm dealing with a similar situation myself. My FH's brother got engaged months after we did. We chose our original wedding date in April 2020 and told every close family member. Our wedding date has moved to early June due to the location of the venue we booked (better time of the year with weather).
    We come to find out they picked the weekend right before our date. The bride and groom are in our wedding party and they asked us to be in theirs.
    So now with planning my wedding, I will have to help with here and hope she helps with mine... It's stressful.
    Although it's so bad for me to think of this.. but they haven't booked anywhere and need to save up money for everything, meaning that if they can't afford it, they may push it back to have more time to save. I'm hoping for the latter cause I can't ask or force them to change it.
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  • Dominique
    Just Said Yes July 2018
    Dominique ·
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    I am in the same position. My little brother got engaged after me too and after I had already picked my date. I am July 21 2018 and he was supposed to be 2019. But all of a sudden he is getting married Aug. 4 2018. 2 WEEKS after me. I am pretty upset about it but what can be done? Just plan your wedding and be there for you brother as much as you can.
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  • K
    Dedicated June 2018
    Kelli ·
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    I think it’s very unfair and I considerate of him. I would be very upset if I were you.
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  • Bianca
    Super August 2019
    Bianca ·
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    I probably wouldn’t be too happy if my brother or sister did this to me, but I’d still be happy for them no matter what.

    My best Friend got engaged 3 months after me and her wedding date is 3 months after mine and I’m just so excited for her. It doesn’t matter that it’s close and we have several overlapping guests.
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  • R
    Beginner May 2019
    raquel ·
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    My sister and I are having our weddings a month and a half apart. Maybe it’s different because our family has been supportive and said as long as they have a year notice, they can plan and save for it. So far it has been fun because we can talk about wedding stuff together and share ideas. We can also find ways to cut down costs by sharing decor. Try to make the best of it!
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  • Kristina
    Master August 2018
    Kristina ·
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    I'd be like your brother. You can't really dictate when they want to get married just because it's inconvenient for you.

    If whoever is helping pay for the wedding has an issue with it, then let THEM have an issue with it. But honestly, I don't see your brother being in the wrong here. Is it annoying? Sure. But if you space everything out you should be fine to devoting one day to your brother like he'll be devoting one day to you.

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