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James

My best friend of over 20 years....

James, on February 14, 2022 at 9:40 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
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My best friend of over 20 years is getting married in the summer and I don't feel like I can go and haven't felt like I can go since the invitations were given out. I suffer with really bad depression and anxiety, and I know I'll feel guilty if I don't go, but that's the only thing making think about going. My health is stopping me. I struggle to be upbeat and struggle with my emotions at the best of times and don't want to ruin their day of I go and I can't behave correctly. I really don't know what to do and would love some advice. I live in the UK, but it wouldn't let me pick where I lived so I put a random place on USA that it let me pick.


I think my main worry is what other people will think if I don't go, but other people is my worry and why I don't want to go. So I'm stuck. My friend says he will underatand (coz I have mentioned it before) but I feel he's just being polite.

5 Comments

Latest activity by tania, on February 16, 2022 at 12:16 PM
  • Natalie
    Super November 2020
    Natalie ·
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    If anxiety and depression are keeping you from going to this wedding and likely many other events, and are interfering with your every day life, I would recommend seeking professional help from a psychologist or psychiatrist. This is coming from someone also diagnosed with anxiety and depression. While your friend may disappointed if you are unable to make it, he is likely aware that these are very real factors that could impact your attendance.
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  • Samantha
    Super May 2022
    Samantha ·
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    I think it really depends on how your friend feels. If he really meant it that he won't be upset if you don't go, then don't go. But I would seek professional help and medications, if your problems are really controlling your life so badly. I am medicated for extreme anxiety disorder, and feel like a healthy person now. If your friend is just being nice and will be disappointed if you don't go, I would suck it up and go. Good luck!

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  • Bird
    Super June 2021
    Bird ·
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    Hi, I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. I have a best friend that also suffers from depression and anxiety and therefore she and I rarely ever see eachother and it’s something I understand. I don’t get mad at her for not being able to hang out. If it was my wedding I would understand. Does your friend know that you have depression and anxiety? If this person is your BEST friend, I hope they would understand. I would of course be sad if she didn’t come but everyone’s comfort and health and safety is very important to me so I would eventually understand and be okay with it. I would be super honest about how you feel about attending. Good luck ❤️
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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. Depression is no easy thing to deal with. I hope you have help and support in your life. Your best friend loves you I'm sure, and would want you to do what's best for you.

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  • tania
    Dedicated February 2022
    tania ·
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    You should never care what others think. No matter what you will do in life you will make people talk. You need to go for yourself if your friend understand he might being polite but if you been friends for over 20 years and you haven't received an invitation. Than that means he knows how you feel and doesn't want you to be feeling exactly what your going Thur now. There is this really cool app called Love Cast. It's like a zoom meeting for wedding but with out your guest being able to talk Thur so no one will interrupt the ceremony. I'm doing this for my wedding because i have family in Puerto Rico that can't come to my wedding (i live in California). Mention that to him and you can still be there for him without really being there. Good luck
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