Jessica
Just Said Yes September 2021

My aunts want to wear a veil to my wedding ceremony?!

Jessica, on April 8, 2021 at 10:05 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 1 37
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Hi everyone,


My aunt recently told me that she and my other aunt practice “veiling” so they will be wearing a veil to my wedding ceramony?! I’m Catholic and have been to plenty of Catholic weddings and have not seen this before. To be honest, I’m a little bothered by it 😕 Has anyone else experienced this? What’s the reasoning someone other than the bride would wear a veil?

37 Comments

Latest activity by Joanna, on April 17, 2021 at 6:40 PM
  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
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    Attention. That's the reason behind it (at least the only reason I could think of for wanting to wear a veil to someone else's wedding). I'd not make it a big deal (another thing she's probably hoping for) and let every other guest judge her for her very odd and, in my opinion, inappropriate attire.

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    I've never seen it done before and I'm catholic as well. It is your wedding and if you don't want them to wear it then I'd tell them that you don't like the idea of them wearing a veil.
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    Exactly my thoughts.


    I feel like this if someone wears white to my wedding or a veil, I'm not going to be bothered by it because it's not showing my character in a negative light but theirs. People will see just how terrible of a person they are. Because lets be honest people will be looking at them in a negative disgust way. I know I 100% would be.
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  • A
    Devoted June 2021
    Allie Online ·
    • Flag

    Wait, like a bridal veil? Surely they are referring to a different type of veil. Can you maybe ask for more information about the veils they have worn in the past to other events? I am just thinking that you (or your family) may get a few questions if people aren't familiar with the practice, so it'd be nice to be equipped with the information. They most likely have a picture of themselves in said veils...or can at least do a quick internet search to show you what they're talking about? It may very well be a religious custom and not intended to distract attention from you (the bride) at all. Best of luck!!

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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    I am assuming they are speaking of Muslim veiling (or a practice similar to it). Which is definitely not like a bridal veil.
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  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
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    Google is a wonderful thing:
    "The veil is meant to be an external sign of a woman's interior desire to humble herself before God, truly present in the Blessed Sacrament. As women, we are symbols of the Church - the Bride of Christ - and "the veil is meant to be a visible reminder of the perfect submission of the Church to the loving rule of Christ."

    You should have a conversation with your aunt. If this is something she practices every time she goes to church (assuming your ceremony is a mass) I would just let them do it. A chapel veil looks nothing like a bridal veil.
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  • J
    Dedicated June 2021
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    So I've been to a number of Catholic churches and have come across scores of ladies who choose to veil. I would clarify if they plan on wearing a bridal veil (ie six foot long train), or if they plan on wearing a small, lace veil on their heads as many women choose to do when they worship at mass. If it's the latter, they're paying respect to God and I personally don't think it should be criticized. Especially considering that you probably are choosing to get married in a place of worship to seek blessings upon your marriage.

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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    I think you need to ask your aunt more questions, but frame it in a polite way of educating yourself on the matter, so she does not feel as though she is being negatively interrogated, or being forced to defend something that may be very important to her. Typically, veiling is a religious practice that encourages modesty, and looks nothing like a bridal veil (Think Muslim coverings). And, if that is the case, this could be a very deeply held religious conviction for your aunts. In that case, I would definitely support their decision. And as Allie mentioned, educating yourself on the practice could come in handy in the event another guest asks you about it.
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  • Leonardia
    Dedicated June 2021
    Leonardia ·
    • Flag

    Hi! So I googled it because I was curious, and it looks like it is somewhat popular depending on the type of catholicism you practice. I put one of the images I found below. Most look like they are no longer than like a headscarf would be if you were to wrap it around your head. Maybe this is what they are referring to?

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRd8d0OQcvHPX8yT_rHPPVQETghlbJZLJJFvw&usqp=CAU
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Catholic women wore a head covering/ mantilla/ veil in church in this country til the 1960's to 1970, when released from the regular practice, though in many parts of the world devout Orthodox Christian women do regularly. It is a practice individuals still carry on here and there in the US, and appears more and more tgese days. They are mostly scarf or chapel veil size. Older women in my Husband's family never stopped, and now as many as a third of the women in their church in the 40+ age range do.
    In early parts of the Old testament shared bt Jews, Christians and Muslims, it is called for.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    This has been a religious practice for centuries, not attention seeking.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Only jealous people do this to seek attention. Let them know you are not comfortable with this. But your feelings are valid.

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  • Katherine
    Devoted October 2021
    Katherine ·
    • Flag
    I grew up in the catholic church and stood up in a catholic wedding and no one's ever worn a veil other then the bride and maybe the flower girl if the bride chooses. Hopefully she means the head wrapped look like stated above but I'd definitely be asking for more details on it.
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  • Heather
    Devoted October 2021
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    It is a traditional thing for Catholics to wear veils. Smiley smile In the Philippines, the women always wear them for weddings, funerals, baptisms, etc. I'm sure it's not something she means to take away from you on your special day!

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  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    I grew up Roman Catholic and this is something that much older women do although VERY UNCOMMON .... are they your great aunts or old? Are they Italian Roman Catholic? The veils they will wear will be very small veils. And won’t be very bridal at all. People might think it’s weird, and if you feel uncomfortable with it you can certainly address the issue with them, but be prepared that it might cause some unnecessary tension for your wedding. I personally would just let it go. Most people will just look at them bewildered and confused, but it certainly won’t take away from your wedding imo
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  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
    • Flag

    I grew up in the Catholic church and some of the older women members of the church would wear a veil, but no one mistook it for a wedding veil. My mom is Filipino, and the much older women do this!

    Like others have said, I'd ask your aunt for more details. If this is religious and she does this during all catholic masses and weddings she attends, then I honestly think it's harmless and nothing to worry about!

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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
    • Flag

    I don't think your aunts are seeking attention. This is clearly a distinct religious tradition.

    A resource on veiling, which has an FAQ "should I wear a veil to someone else's wedding?"

    "If the wedding is in a Catholic Church where the Blessed Sacrament is reserved in the tabernacle, then yes! That said, it may be best to avoid white so as not to match the bride. You might also want to steer away from black so as not to appear to be in mourning. Black & gold is a great, subtle combination for festive occasions. You can also match the color of your outfit; for example, you can pair a gray veil with a gray outfit, or a black & blue veil with a blue outfit."

    The site I took that information from has a selection of veils you can view here: https://www.veilsbylily.com/categories?sort=bestselling I personally don't think any of them look like a bridal veil, even the white ones.

    Even being a non-believer, I am sensitive to the fact that this is a loved one's religious beliefs - I think it would be inappropriate for you to ask her not to veil, especially if you are having the ceremony in the church. I do, however, think it would be perfectly reasonable to ask what color veil she would be wearing. She probably knows better than to wear white. But if she does say she planned to wear white, it would be reasonable to request she choose another color.

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Why would it matter to you if a guest is wearing a head scarf, while in the sactuary? It is removed after church.
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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    Some women that don’t like the changes from Vatican II still wear headcoverings in church.
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  • M
    Dedicated June 2017
    Monica ·
    • Flag
    As someone who has practiced this devotion in the past, more than likely she is referring to a small lace veil on her head. A previous poster showed a picture that is one example, other examples are a small lace veil that only covers the head ( maybe to the shoulders) and does not come under the chin. This can be a common practice among traditionally minded churches, particularly people who might enjoy attending the Latin mass on a regular basis


    I would ask your aunt to clarify, but generally adult women who veil during Mass are not wearing a white veil, and even if they are it looks nothing like a bridal veil. It is meant to honor God, and will in no way take away from your wedding. You can ask her to share a picture if you are concerned. If it helps, I used to have a black veil for regular Mass and a pretty rose colored veil that I would only wear for special feast days, both lace veils in the mantilla style.
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