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Dedicated September 2018

My 3 year old walking me down the aisle

Kaitlyn, on February 5, 2018 at 9:26 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 7

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Hi everyone!
Going to keep the long dramatic story short and straight to the point, my step dad walked out on us about 2 years ago (My sperm donor has never been around) he isn’t invited to the wedding and I don’t have anyone else to walk me down the aisle. My 3 year old son has been my rock since before all of the drama happened with my parents. I’m feeling very sad that I won’t have that moment with my father but does anyone have any ideas how to make it special with my son walking me? I’m afraid he’s going to dart on the beach and need something to make him feel special and have him focus. He wants to be a teenage mutant ninja turtle so I’m considering having a little turtle tux made so he can give me to his daddy. Has anyone else had their toddler walk them down the aisle? It’s a beach wedding so it’s more casual just don’t know if he will be able to focus with the beach being right in front of us.

Another question. How do you go about not inviting him to the wedding? I’m still close with his mother and she’s going to be there but I just can’t look at him without being hurt for what he put everyone through. I love him with all my heart he was there when I was a baby and until I had my own little one but he ended up kicking everyone out of the house for his new piece of meat who ended up being on drugs so I just can’t have that in my life but I don’t wanna hurt him even though he has done it to me. I wanna be the bigger person but just don’t know how

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Bride2B, on February 5, 2018 at 11:37 PM

Expert August 2018
Kelli · on February 5, 2018 at 9:42 PM
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I wouldn't call inviting him being the bigger person. He made a selfish choice that hurt your family and do you really want that around your son? I'm glad my son will be 10 when I marry my FH because he understands the importance of walking me down the aisle. Where your son is so young I would personally suggest giving him a different job but I definitely understand wanting him to walk you. If you have a family member that can walk down with him that may be better or pull him in a wagon (unless you're directly on sand obviously). At that age they just don't (usually) have the attention span to focus and be calm for something that slow paced and important. Do you want your walk down the aisle to be focused on chasing a toddler or getting pulled down the aisle by him, or having him dig his feet in and refuse to walk? While I'm definitely not saying toddlers act like this all the time, they do have a tendency to know when it's the worst time and then do something crazy, especially little boys lol. I do like the idea of a ninja turtle tux. To get my son more interested so he (and my FH anf groomsman lol) wouldn't get bored doing pics they're having "secret identities" as my son explains it. With superhero t-shirts under their suits and matching cufflinks.
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Dedicated September 2018
Kaitlyn · on February 5, 2018 at 9:46 PM
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That’s my biggest worry but I’ve got an extremely small family as I don’t have a relationship with my dads side other than his mother. I just hate the thought of walking alone it seems so depressing in a way. I just thought giving my son something to do might help. Maybe I can bring beach toys down into the beach and set up a play area next to where we will be saying our vows. I may be the first one ever to do that but gotta work with the adhd kid right?
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Master May 2018
Forestwed · on February 5, 2018 at 10:00 PM
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I’m walking alone. You’re strong and independent and you’re making the decision to enter the marriage on your own. You don’t need to be escorted and at 2 years old it might be difficult with your son. Maybe he can sit with or near your mom.
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Dedicated September 2018
Kaitlyn · on February 5, 2018 at 10:02 PM
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I agree! Maybe for the last little bit I just want him included and feel blessed to have had him through the past few years. I had him right out of high school and it’s not been easy but he’s really been my rock.
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Beginner September 2018
KARI · on February 5, 2018 at 10:31 PM
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I plan on walking alone. Our son is 2.5 and I already know he’s going to make a stink when “mommy & daddy” are standing up there without him. I was planning on having him walk down before me ( or a casual run to dad)

You know your son best so don’t expect something from him that’s unrealistic. If he runs down the beach roll with it and laugh! Then have grandma go get him lol
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VIP December 2018
Xandria · on February 5, 2018 at 11:09 PM
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I think having your son walk you down the isle sounds amazing! Have you considered carrying him? Then he’s in mommy’s arms and maybe will be less inclined to run out on the beach!

also love the idea of your mom being in charge of retrieving him if/when he runs off.
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Expert June 2018
Bride2B · on February 5, 2018 at 11:37 PM
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I don't have any kids, so I can't speak form personal experience how he will behave. I do think it would be super cute and meaningful if you were able to somehow walk with him. If not, maybe make him a little ring bearer? Maybe with a turtle ring box? Or your FH can have a turtle stuffed animal at the alter to lure him in (I'm tentatively planning on motivating my young bridal party members with stuffed animals!).
If you can't walk with him, (or what about your mom?), then I think there is nothing wrong with walking alone. It is not sad or depressing at all. I wish I personally could walk just with my mom or alone, but I think that would cause more drama then it's worth. You are strong and independent. It was no one's choice but yours to get married and have a precious baby with this man!
Also I do not think you need to invite your dad. What he did was very wrong and hurtful to your family. That is not what a father does, and is not a good role model for your FH or your son.
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