My 19 yr Old Sister Wants to be Maid of Honor

There are no additional responsibilities that come with being a MOH, so I don’t think that’s a valid reason not to ask her, however you’ve already given that title to someone else. I know it’s not uncommon to have multiple maids of honor, but I think having 3 is overkill. I also wouldn’t make someone my MOH just because they want me to.

My sister is 16 and she's my MOH. I gave her the title because she's my BFF and I love her and our relationship. I'm fully aware that she is not able or capable to handle much of the MOH responsibilities, but I include my baby sis in as much as I can by keeping her in the loop and my adult BFF completely understands and is playing the role without the title. Your friends will understand and if it'll make your sister happy then why not Ultimately it'll make you happy to see her so happy. Good Luck!

No I feel that if she is barely handling things as a bridesmaid then MOH might be a bit much. Nothing they have to do but honestly we want their advice and help a bit more than the average guest. My MOH & BM said no matter how we choose to do our day (small ceremony or elope) they are there for me anytime and truthfully that is how I was for them and one of the reasons I knew I wanted to have them by my side a part from the fact they are my close friends & they are some of the most important people I must share a special day with. I have seen grooms or brides have a friend be their best man or MOH rather than family and usually it is due to closeness. I will say that it is your decision but would it be problematic to have her as an MOH? I agree with a PP that 3 is overkill but I do not think it will be a big deal. She may be more so bothered that she is family and not the MOH but you are in no way obligated to make family a MOH. I would reassure her that you chose those ladies for a reason but that she is still important to you but if you do not see any downsides (a part from maybe not being as available or on top of matters)then make her one...however, maybe know that you have two other ladies to have your back if she does not fulfill any expectations you may have. Maybe even tell her that as MOH you need her to get the dress going soon.

View Quoted Comment Kristen, that you so much for that insight. My FH told me to give her the title and have more than one MOH and just let the other handle the responsibility. I am still unsure. I keep reminding her to get her dress also. I am for the most part a traditional person when it comes to certain things so I do feel strongly about the duties of the MOH. Thanks so much for responding.

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Any time. That is what we are here for. I feel you would have the other two to do what you expect and if she doesn't do not stress. I guess I am saying give her the title to make her happy but secretly you may have the other ladies help out more. Keep her in the loop, let her know she is involved but if she does not do as much as you expect, do not stress out because the other ladies are there. I am a jerk to say this but some people love the titles but do not realize what is always expected of them so that could be the case. I say do not stress about what she is doing because it will probably cause more issues and hurt feelings if you do not. Hope it works out.

View Quoted Comment Hey Caytlyn, well anytime I have been someone's MOH, I helped with ideas on decor3, planning bridal shower, bachelorette party, and helped with some things even on the big day. My sis has no time for those things. The ladies I have already given that title to have hit the ground running with making plans and making sure I have what I need etc. So yes, I do feel MOH has some type of responsibility.

View Quoted Comment As mentioned before, I do include her in everything. 9 times out of 10 she is just not available. But I get what you're saying.

View Quoted Comment Kristen, thank you and I definitely agree with you about people wanting titles but not the work that comes with it. I know my sister. I love her, but I know her. Lol

View Quoted Comment No I totally get it! When planning a wedding you need your MOH on deck at all times, but I was just saying since it’s your sister and you guys have a good relationship I don’t think it will be a big deal to maybe make her a MOH along with the other ladies. Just my opinion. Good luck and congratulations!

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Thank you so much

I was my sister's MOH when I was 20 and my niece will be my MOH and she is 21.

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But are you just letting them have the title or will they be helping out with things also? If so, does their schedules allow it?

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Well, I'm not having a shower or bachelorette party so there isn't a whole lot for her to do.

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Oh OK, well I am having all of that...

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Well...I was my sister's maid of honor when I was 20. She had all of that too but my mom paid for that kind of stuff.

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Oh ok good for you

I would definitely not give her that title. I would tell her that you love her and are excited to have her with you but given that your maid and matron of honor are already doing so much, you dont feel it would be right to take the titles from them. Tell her that if she wants to have more input on any party planning, she can get with the other 2. I created a chat with all three of my ladies. If they didnt have fb, it would be an email thing. That said, start posting stuff there for input so she can see it and understand that she is getting the info at the same time and has the same chance to respond. I'd also let your MoH's know that she is feeling left out and ask them to include her as much as they can. Make sure they are aware of why she might be sensitive (I'm assuming if they are really close to you, they probably already know). Do what you can to ease tensions but also make sure your MoH's know that they are keeping their spots and you appreciate their contributions at the same time.

If your sister presses more about why, remind her that you have tried to include her every step of the way and she has been too busy. Be firm but understanding. You've got this.

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No need for an attitude. Wasn't looking for a pat on the back. You asked, I answered. Good luck.

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Thank you Kristal. really great advice. I am trying to think of another way that I can include her in the ceremony so that she has "her moment".

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No attitude her love. I was just saying "That's good for you"