Mutual Friend Invitation Dilemma

I don't think it's rude but may be awkward? Honestly you will be busy as the bride & groom to notice any awkwardness anyways. I think she's probably over it at this point with a baby on the way and if you still talk I would go ahead and invite her.

I would be more concerned that she might be hurt if you don't invite her since you guys are friends again. She's clearly moved on with a new relationship and baby on the way.

I dont think it would be rude to invite her. It may be rude to not invite her.


I'm not sure about you, but all my exs, old crushes and what not all feel silly now that I have something real. She probably feels similarly. And if not, she can always choose fo decline.

I can't understand how it would be rude to invite her.

View Quoted Comment I wouldn't want her to think we're "rubbing it in her face" or anything. We're all coworkers and when we first got together she said that she felt like we were doing that just because she would see us talk together or walk in together.

View Quoted Comment Good point about the awkwardness. Thanks!

View Quoted Comment I didn't think about her being upset if not invited. That's a great point, thanks!

View Quoted Comment That's a great point. Thank you!

View Quoted Comment

She's in a relationship and pregnant, I think she's over it. If she still feels that way, she can always decline.

She has moved on, you are friends again. When most of us realize we have matured a bit, and look back at silly crushes, or bad and embarrassing behavior when drinking, our hope is that other people's memories of our being that way fade and disappear. As your friend NOW, and in a relationship with a child on the way, she has come to a point where if you did not send an invitation she would think it was because of immature things she did, and she would be humiliated that you remember them. Why not play it for the future, and invite her. Turn the page.

People's feelings change over time and I don't think it should matter that she used to have a crush on your FH. As long as you've all moved on, I think it would be totally appropriate to invite her if that's what you want to do.

If you are concerned she still has feelings for your FH and she would make a scene at your wedding then that's a different scenario, but it doesn't sound like this is the case.

Not necessarily among me or my friends, but in some friend groups people seem to date one another and pass each other around before finally "settling" on a person. At those weddings half the guests wouldn't be invited if they omitted all the people they ever kissed, dated, or slept with. To me an old crush is no concern.

Considering that you’re friends again and she’s obviously moved on from your FH, I feel like it would be weirder to NOT invite her!

You are wayyyyy overthinking this. She no longer has feelings for your fiance as she is in a new relationship and pregnant. There is absolutely no reason not to invite her (barring budget constraints) She's CLEARLY not into him anymore and wouldnt feel slighted at all.