Music during dinner

I prefer light music playing in the background, played by the DJ. Live music tends to be too loud and cannot be controlled like the music a DJ will play. Most guests will want to talk and socialize, so light background noise is really all you need.

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100% agree with this! Another thing to consider is that a DJ will most likely have a wider range of musical genres that are offered, as opposed to a live musician/band that may only play certain genres.

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We haven't planned on hiring a DJ. We'll just do a playlist ourselves for dancing and ask a friend to manage that. Of course I could also make a playlist for dinner. In my mind I was more thinking between live accoustic guitar music (which we like) or nothing. But I'll definitely take your advise into consideration and see what other brides are saying.

View Quoted Comment If it came down to spending money on a guitar player, or using that money to hire a DJ, I would choose the DJ. A DJ does a lot more than just play music. They maintain the flow for your entire reception and get your guests to the dance floor.
But, if you choose no DJ, I would definitely make a playlist for dinner.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this 100%. You want to have some background music playing during dinner for ambient sounds. Pure silence sounds really odd. If you notice, restaurants always have soft music playing for ambience. A DJ is great for reading the room during the party portion of the reception. But a playlist is just fine for dinner.

I agree with PPs, I would definitely opt for a DJ over a guitar player.

Honestly in all of the weddings that I’ve been to when it’s just music played off at soundtrack I never really noticed the music in terms of what was playing. But I noticed it when there was like an actual live singer

Girl, I've spent the whole time planning over thinking everything! HAHA! Similar to what other people have said, we're going for a "restaurant" type of feeling during our dinner time. Think: French cooking music, smooth jazz, anything really low and soft just to set the mood, but you certainly won't struggle to talk to people next to you. My biggest pet peeve is always when you can't hear yourself think! As far as DJ or guitarist, we chose a violinist for ceremony and cocktail hour, DJ for reception, but I think it's really up to you. There's no "bad" option, but I will say that if you want a party atmosphere for your reception, a DJ is great for that.

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I hear you ladies and if we had a different wedding I would totally agree with you DJ over guitar player.

However, here is some more background. I am not planning the perfect wedding of my dreams. I am marrying the man of my dreams and planning the wedding we can afford now and that we can pull off planning in three months. I envy some of you who have a bigger budget and more time but our priorities are different and we do what's important to us. But it definitely comes with some compromise.

The wedding will be at the church with the reception in the church backyard, ceremony starts at 1pm and reception ends around 6pm. The curch said the are okay with dancing but I would actually have to ask about an outside DJ as we haven't talked about that.

Because of covid I am still not sure how I feel about dancing. We agreed we'll make a decision 3-4 weeks before the wedding if we have dancing or not and I hope if we decide yes, I can still find a dancefloor to rent. This might be too late to find an affordable DJ anyways.

We are aware that if we don't have a DJ we need an emcee to lead through the day. We'll have a microphone and speakers.

We are both not that much into dancing and music. We're not really party people and are not sure about our guests, so the DJ isn't that important to us. Since the guitar player is a friend of a friend we would pay way less for an hour or two of live music than the DJ. Budget is a concern.

I am a little worried how it will work without a DJ if we decide to have dancing because a playlist from someone's phone or computer can't read the room. But it's all about priorities. Now I am even more concerned. Not sure what we'll end up doing.

My original question was more if background music for dinner is necessary when it is outdoors.

I feel confused. One more big decision that I didn't think we have to make to add to my list of decisions.

But keep your ideas and thoughts coming. It's definitely helpful and appreciated.

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That's helpful.

We have two violinists playing in the ceremony. But they are close friends and we want them to enjoy the day and not work. So we don't want to ask for more. THough if we end up with no dancing because of Covid I will ask them for a short 20 minute sort of concert during mingling time after dinner (instead of dancing if we choose not to do dancing because of covid).

I am totally with you on background music being too loud. But if it's to low you don't need music at all. :-) And that's where I started questioning our idea of hiring the guitar guy.

Since it's in the afternoon, I doubt that it will be a real party atmosphere anyways (I have never been to an afternoon wedding before) and our guests are also not real party people though I think people would dance. This whole dancing thing has been stressing me out the entire time. I want dancing but I am afraid it will be lame.

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I totally understand you on not wanting them to work during the day! I have a few family members who are musicians and I told them I wouldn't hire them for our wedding either simply because I wanted them to enjoy like you said. I think your wedding sounds lovely! I know wedding planning is stressful enough as is, I can only imagine trying to do this all now with COVID being in full swing. I can completely understand where you must be coming from. As easy as it sounds, I wouldn't stress. The people that are coming for your wedding are there to witness your love, they won't care if they dance or not, especially right now! A guitarist is definitely something that would separate your party from many others, and especially if you don't know about dancing, it could be something else to entertain your guests and give them something to talk about. Whatever you choose will be the right decision!

View Quoted Comment From your original post, I had assumed you were already having a DJ for your reception, and you were just wondering if you should hire live music for cocktail hour and dinner. Yes, ambience music is definitely preferable to silence. You don’t realize how quiet a room is until there is no background music! However, if it is not in your budget, I don’t think you should worry about breaking the bank to do it. If you are not having dancing at your reception, then I would just utilize the outdoor sound system you mentioned and do a playlist (I would create several different playlists as well so that you can switch the music if you don’t feel one type is suiting the current mood). If you do decide to spend money to hire someone to do music, then I would definitely look into a low cost DJ over live music, just because they are not as distracting and can control the volume and type of music needed to suite your desired ambiance; especially if you decide to have dancing (which, don’t worry if you don’t want dancing, a lot of people choose not to have it at their receptions; opting for more of a laid-back “restaurant vibe”). In the end, this is your special day, and you guys can do things however you choose! 😀 don’t worry about pleasing others or going over budget to do so

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Chrysta worded it perfectly! I think a lot of us were under the same assumption as well.

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Thank you!!! Sorry, I wasn't clear in my original post. I somehow just hadn't made a connection between DJ and dinner, that's why.

Interesting that you would chose a playlist over a live musician. But I see your point regarding volume, type of music, etc. I am not sure yet what we will do. But I've talked with my fiancé about the DJ and it's really not in our budget and I think we can make it work without one.

Thanks again everyone. I think I've never been to a wedding where they had music during dinner or I just didn't noticed. I am trying to understand American weddings, so I can decide what I want and don't want and what people might expect or not expect (not to meet all their expectations but to understand). German weddings have no music during dinner but it's definitely not awkward silence as people are talking while eating. Arab weddings have super super super loud music, so you just yell at eachother and don't understand a word. I've never been to an American wedding. But like the background music idea.