Mr. involved

I've found I have to ask specific questions or give my FH very specific things to do. Or have him pick between three choices I give him.

Guys don't always think about things the same way we do!

I think it depends ALOT on the guy. My FH has toured all the venues with me, but I made the initial list to tour and he gets a little overwhelmed after each of them. Sometimes he will sit with me and scroll through pinterest ideas for centerpieces, colors, etc. but gets bored after 10 or 15 min so I think that's pretty normal. I definitely think narrowing down your favorite ideas and then asking him for input will help!

My fiance has been semi involved. He helped with the budget, toured venues with me, went to tastings, met or will be meeting with the vendors, created our save the dates and our hashtag, and helped put together our invitations. However, I selected the photographer, videographer, officiant, d.j., hair and makeup artist, tuxes, florist/decorator and menus for the rehearsal dinner and wedding with minimal input from him. He seems to have a habit of having an opinion on stuff I don't want him to. Such as I wanted to were a mini tiara for the wedding, but he hates that idea. I wanted him to walk his mom down the aisle and my uncle or grandfather was going to walk my mom, but my fiance said no and he is forcing the moms to walk down the aisle together and they hate it.

Every couple is different. My fiance went on venue tours, cake tastings, and catering tasting. He helped pick our photographer, videographer, officiant, venue, caterer, and dessert caterer after I narrowed it down to 2-3 options. He picked his groomsmen, helped pick their gifts & outfits, contributed to the guest list, and help put together invites. Most of it was whatever I wanted and he agreed, but he did want to be involved.

Everyone's FH is different but it seems like most want or are involved with making the bigger decisions-budget, guest list, venue and not so much the smaller details. When we first got engaged FH said he wanted to plan our wedding together but I'm the one who has been doing all the research on venues and vendors and showing him my top favs to get his opinion. So far we've only toured venues and I've showed him a handful of photographers that I think he will like (we're super picky about the aesthetic of the photographers).

My husband toured the venues, went to the cake tasting, and went to the food tastings with me. He also helped me organize the guest list and seating chart. He attended the month-out meeting with out coordinator/venue. Otherwise he did not do much else. He was not picky about much and wanted me to be happy. I did not mind him not doing a lot because his mom and my mom helped a lot.

Everyone is definitely different. I asked my fiance when we started what things he really cared about, and what things he didn't. We kind of went from there with planning, with him being really involved in those things, and less involved (but still aware) with others. There were a few things where I had to explain to him because he cared about one aspect, I needed him to care about a related aspect. But explaining the relationship between different things helped. (He is the one insisting on having a traditional wedding, for the sake of our families, and he cares about the venue and food; I had to explain to him that he has to care at least a little bit about the overall experience of the guests, if we're inviting them.) Overall, though, I feel pretty lucky? He's been there with me for just about everything, even if I'm the one making the final decision. It means he's also been pretty easy going and supportive when I've changed my mind.

I have just planned and showed him, asked if he likes it and he responds accordingly just fine. He doesn't give his input unless it is a specific thing and he likes or dislikes it. Like, for example, I wanted mason jars for part of the centerpiece, there was a square and a round type mason jar and he likes the rounds instead of the square ones... So I got those. That was it lol

My FH doesn’t care about much. He just says he wants to be involved in the food decisions so I’ve mostly been planning with my mom(parents are paying for the wedding).

Mine is semi-involved. He went on the venue tours with me, and gave his opinion of each one. He is very interested in the music, so went and interviewed DJs with me, and helped me pick the one. He even went with me to a wedding fair I wanted to go to. He hasn't done anything else actively with me yet, as we're too early for tastings and things like that. He tells me all the time he just wants me to have whatever I want for my dream wedding. So, although he's not actively involved in researching, he's very supportive. When I ask his opinion on style or color or whatnot, he's always ready to give it. I'm really lucky!! I can't wait to marry him!

I feel it’s VERY normal. When this question comes up, it confuses me and I always ask... how much party planning or flower selecting or color choosing between “sky blue and ocean blue” or deciding on linen/napkin colors or selecting cake designs, etc etc did your FH do before getting engaged?? 🤔 Did he have a wedding board on Pinterest? Is he posting here on WW?? Probably NOT. 😂 So it cracks me up to think that brides expect their FHs to develop this major interest in wedding planning all of a sudden. Why do you think these WW forums are filled with women? Most guys are mainly interested in the food, music and simply becoming your husband. All the feminine details just don’t interest them. Is that surprising??

So don’t stress it and enjoy the planning!

My FH is totally laid back. He will give his input if I ask, but with alot of things he won't. For example, i wanted help picking out our colors when we first started planning, but soon realized he truly is just happy with whatever i pick. And its been easier honestly just picking out things i want, and having him help decide on things I'm unsure of, once I've narrowed down my options.

My FH has ideas for things that he wants. I asked him in the very beginning what specific things he wants and I am making those things happen for him. I am planning the rest of it (with him in the know obviously) and that’s worked for us so far. I kinda just give him an idea and he goes with it or goes off of it and tells me what his idea would be and we make something together

View Quoted Comment My FH's parents will walk him down the isle and my parents will walk me down the isle. We have gone to the venue and tasting as a group of six. I have done things with just the moms and he has taken my bridesman to get his bridesman suit. I designed the STDs and he edited and paid for them. We met with our jeweler to pick out our wedding bands and we will be buying them for each other. I guess he's almost or just about as involved as I am.

Depends on the guy. My besties husband did absolutely nothing after proposing and setting a budget, everything the day of was a surprise for him.
Mine wants to be involved in everything. He'll pick out the ribbon color for our centerpieces and look for details.
So I'd say it's normal for some guys yea

It seems typical for most grooms to have zero to very little interest. I’ve found it easier to keep the things I want feedback on to very specific things. Which do you like better? Oh I narrowed down our DOC... I prefer them because.... I like to use my FH as a sounding board at times. I give him weekly updates, which he seems receptive about.