Moving wedding date

We moved our date up because we couldn't wait to become husband and wife!

That's it. If you pay for it on your own, what can they say? They'll get over it.

First of all, I think it’s rude of them to expect you to wait two years to get married and start your life together because your sister is graduating college. Yes graduating is a big deal but it’s one day, then it’s done and she gets to start her life. But that doesn’t mean you should postpone yours. She gets her day and you will get yours, they shouldn’t have to be so spread out. I would just explain to your family that you guys don’t want to wait two years to start your life. I think the date you picked Is still super respectful and your shower and bachelorette party (if someone plans one for you) wouldn’t begin until July so she had plenty of time to celebrate her graduation without overlapping celebrations. I’m glad you’re able to pay on your own if it comes to that but hopefully they come around and realize lives will go on no matter what.

I don’t see how your sister graduating should stop you from getting married. They are completely different events. My sister is also graduating next year from college in May and we are getting married in August. People usually celebrate graduating with a party but it’s nothing like a wedding. They are two completely separate occasions.

Okay girl I am upset for you! I don’t see at all how your wedding would take away from her graduating. It’s momths later! I am graduating college in May of 2019 and am having my wedding September 7, 2019. So I guess I’m taking away from my own graduation?!

I would be be honest with your family and tell them how you feel and why you don’t want to wait and why you don’t think it would take away from her graduation. I’m sure they will come around and if not, you’re paying so you get to decide!

As a parent, the only thing I can think of is that they are still paying tuition this year, so IF you want/need them to make a major financial contribution to the wedding, for them to do that, it needs to be in 2020. If you don't need/want their contribution, then set whatever date you want. I may not be interpreting correctly, but as a parent who made tuition payments for four years, I can totally understand a request to give them time to catch up financially from one major expense before moving on to the next one. Just a perspective to consider, rather than they are just super controlling. (Or, maybe they are controlling, I don't know.)

View Quoted Comment Well, my sister is on financial aid and has her husband's GI Bill helping her pay for college, so my parents aren't helping her pay for it or anything. And it's not even that they're controlling, they've always given preference to things my little sister did over what I did. For example, we went bankrupt when I was in high school, she was in middle school, and I was told I had to quit marching band because they couldn't afford the uniform I needed for it, fair enough since I could still be in concert band, but that same year, she gets to be in cheerleading and go to every game and get a brand new uniform because she wanted it. (I'm not still bitter about this as it was years ago, just giving an example.) And it's not like we need help. My mom wants to help pay for my dress (and something else, I don't remember what), but the dress I ended up liking was a $70 dress from Torrid, so it isn't an issue to pay for that on my own.

It’s YOUR day. You and your FH dictate the date, not your family. I would move forward with the date you and your FH want and plan a wedding you two can afford. If you can swing it without your family’s financial help then they should have zero issue with you moving your date up

Just tell them. You’re not expecting them to pay. Your sister gets one day, not the entire year. They’ll get over it.

I would just tell them. If they get pissy about it remind them that your sister doesn't own all of 2019. Graduating from college is not the same as getting married. You aren't doing it the same weekend or even the same month so how is that stealing the spotlight?