Alycia
Expert September 2021

Moving my wedding date for the 3rd time

Alycia, on December 28, 2020 at 12:37 PM Posted in Planning 3 65
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We were originally scheduled for 4/25/2020, that didn't happen moved to 9/26/2020 and then to 4/3/2021. As January is approaching we find ourselves gearing up to move to our 4th wedding date. It is beyond depressing. People ask us constantly what is going on and we can't answer them. We have no idea.

We live in NJ and the restrictions are complicated and make zero sense when reviewing them and they change all the time. We thought about scaling down but we made deposits that we would lose if we cancelled vendors or changed venues. It makes the whole concept of wedding planning, just awful.

We understand "safety", this post is for people who are making the same difficult decision to move their wedding for the 2nd or 3rd time because we completely understand the struggle.

65 Comments

Latest activity by Zara, on March 27, 2021 at 9:32 PM
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag
    Is there a reason that you're making a decision so fast for an April wedding? I personally would probably wait until February because anything can happen and restrictions can be raised.


    I'm so sorry that you're even in this position though I can't imagine. My husband and I had a minimony in October but our big wedding is scheduled for 3/27/21 & we are continuing with that we of right now.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I'm sorry you're going through this. You're definitely not alone.
    • Reply
  • Alycia
    Expert September 2021
    Alycia ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    We need to reserve a back-up date. As you can imagine with more and more people becoming engaged and people like us moving their dates over and over again the competition for dates becomes insane.

    We live in NJ and our restrictions have never become lighter, only more restrictive.

    • Reply
  • Jane
    Savvy August 2021
    Jane ·
    • Flag
    We had to cancel our October wedding in New York, then we decided not to renew our lease in Brooklyn because it was to hard to live there during the pandemic. We moved to Illinois in August (where I’m from) and hired a planner to help us plan a whole new wedding in IL in May. Now, people are all telling us they probably won’t come in May because they might not be able to get the vaccine in time. So, we’re about to postpone again, to August. There are no Saturdays left, so we’re going to have to do a Sunday. The best man said “I’m going to be honest, nobody likes Sunday weddings. ESPECIALLY if it involves air travel.” We’re going to do brunch, because now I know that everyone hates us for having our wedding on a Sunday because it’s an inconvenience for them. I’m so miserable, I don’t know how I’m going to get through this 😭
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Hmm well goodluck with everything!
    • Reply
  • Alycia
    Expert September 2021
    Alycia ·
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    Jane, I feel for you. We moved from NYC too and I would have moved to New Hampshire if my mother in law wasn't in a nursing home in NJ.


    We are in the same boat, of course we can find weekdays for a wedding but no one wants to come, plus we are asking people for the 3rd time to change travel plans and move our hotel block.
    I'm so miserable and depressed with no end in sight.
    • Reply
  • RaylaSan
    Expert February 2021
    RaylaSan ·
    • Flag

    This is why I decided to keep my original wedding date no matter what. We didn't want to deal with constant struggle of having to postpone time and time again. Hence, the reason why my fiancee and I decided to move our venue to a more privately owned one, instead of a government owned one, which is where we originally were. Instead, we'll just follow CDC guidelines as close as we can.

    • Reply
  • Kris
    Expert July 2021
    Kris ·
    • Flag

    We just made the decision to postpone for the 4th time, so I feel your pain. New date, July 31!

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Savvy July 2021
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    Similar boat here. Our wedding was scheduled for May 1, 2021, and last week we rescheduled to Friday, July 30, 2021. We moved to a Friday specifically to keep our vendors which made the postponement much easier to maneuver. Not a single person told me to move the wedding, but then when we finally moved it tons of people told me that they appreciated the move and preferred the new date! Best of luck whatever you decide!
    • Reply
  • T
    Just Said Yes January 2029
    Tami ·
    • Flag
    We are going to moved it for the 2nd time.
    I am German and my entire family is in Germany. Germany is in their next lockdown plus the US wouldn’t let them in anyway.
    Most likely we will try to make it happen some time in 2022.
    • Reply
  • J
    Savvy April 2021
    Jaquelyn ·
    • Flag
    This is an extremely difficult time for brides. We had to move ours from January 2nd to April 9th. I’m just praying we can still have our celebration because money has been paid. I understand your dilemma but be encouraged. Stay positive that April will be the best celebration you’ve ever had in your life. With the vaccine, things will get better. Send up lots of prayers. We all will be doing that.
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    As someone also in NJ, I would think that April may look super different. We're already vaccinating, and our governor has an aggressive plan to have at least 70% of us vaccinated by June. (I know, that's after your date, but not too long after.)

    Hopefully, people kept their holiday gatherings small, because our numbers are starting to go down, again, and our hospitals aren't overwhelmed. I promise, there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Do you have specific questions about the restrictions I could maybe help clarify?

    • Reply
  • Suzanne
    Dedicated July 2021
    Suzanne ·
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    Yes, what I hate most about the whole situation is how loved ones are blaming us brides for all of this. I have swathes of family who think this is all a hoax and are criticizing us for taking any precautions and postponing. I have other swathes of family who are super cautious about the pandemic and are criticizing us for not postponing again. I can't imagine what it would be like to plan a wedding without 3+ back up plans, and even now I doubt it's going to happen. If I hear one more time "It's your special day! You're the bride, you can do whatever you want!" I'm going to scream. Those were the "before times" when brides could get their dream wedding. I don't know if my loved ones from Europe will be let in the country. I don't know if my grandparents will be vaccinated and able to attend a large gathering. My dream wedding is not possible and I don't care for patronizing positivity claiming it'll all get better in a few months. It has nothing to do with what we even want, just what can get done and get it over with, all with criticism from a peanut gallery of what weddings were like without venue restrictions, mask requirements, venues at 50% capacity but 100% of the cost, etc.

    • Reply
  • Alycia
    Expert September 2021
    Alycia ·
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    Suzanne,


    Girl I am right there with you. Its like a tug of war and I'm the loser. I have people tell me its not the time to be getting married and others saying just get married. My wedding was moved a month before it supposed to happen. My wedding was planned, everything was confirmed and bought. People act I'm selfish for wanting the wedding i planned and paid for.
    I can't deal with the convoluted restrictions only 100 with staff, no dancing, no singing, plated only... That's not a wedding thats funeral.
    • Reply
  • Alycia
    Expert September 2021
    Alycia ·
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    Rebecca,


    NJ is a week behind every other state, they just started vaccinating yesterday. I don't have faith in 70% by June, I'm sorry but given the response to virus so far, I just can't believe that.


    • Reply
  • Jane
    Savvy August 2021
    Jane ·
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    Yep, literally everything my loved ones say makes me feel worse!! I’ve been telling my MOH/sister and some friends how I wish we could just get on with our lives and not be consumed by this wedding anymore, and they’re telling us to just push it to 2022 now. That’s the OPPOSITE of getting on with our lives!!! I was a musician before the industry was completely devastated by the pandemic, and this fall I went back to school to become a k-12 music teacher. Next year I’m going to be doing my student teaching and trying to start a new career and I just don’t want to spend so much mental and emotional energy thinking about this wedding. A couple people have been all “why don’t you just elope” or “you might as well just go to the courthouse,” and that’s just not for us. That’s also really rude/intrusive advice that we didn’t ask for. I’ve never really had a chance to have a normal celebration or happy/carefree life milestone in my entire life, and I know I’ll feel depressed and regret it if we can’t celebrate our marriage with our family and friends.
    At this point also, people have either forgotten we’re having a wedding at all or they’re tired of hearing about it and won’t talk about it.

    This whole thing is deeply upsetting not just because of the wedding but also because it’s making me feel like I have no friends or people who care about me. It’s just making me feel really alone and unloved.

    • Reply
  • Lucia
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Lucia ·
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    Lol thanks for being honest, best man. I have gotten the same kind of feedback when engaging in the impossible task of trying to reschedule my ceremony and separate reception. "Everyone hates a long weekend wedding," "nobody will come to a ceremony with just cake after," etc. How about everyone just realize that we are doing our best and just be there for us????

    I don't have good advice, just want to let you know that you are not alone. For most covid brides, our weddings won't be exactly what we imagined. Let's just focus on the good and flat-out ignore negativity from others.

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Dedicated September 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    Hey girl I totally feel your pain!! I know Jersey has been a bit tougher than PA (where I am), but maybe it will be better by April. Does your venue have an outdoor option or is it only indoor and that’s why you are reserving a backup date? Could you get any money back and maybe switch venues to one that can accommodate for an outdoor ceremony and therefore more people? We were lucky because our venue was outdoors and when we got married it was 250 allowed outdoors in PA.
    • Reply
  • Jane
    Savvy August 2021
    Jane ·
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    I feel like 99% of the time someone says some version “I’m going to be honest,” they’re actually just being rude and tactless 😂
    This same best man also said “I don’t know, how much money are you guys actually saving having it on a Sunday?” THERE ARE NO SATURDAYS LEFT FOR LIKE 10 YEARS!! Waaaaah!!!!
    Then he said “put yourself in the guests’ shoes and imagine how they’ll feel. MAYBE they can ask their boss for Monday off, but they’ll have to sacrifice their pay that day.” I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT AND I FEEL LIKE GARBAGE, and this is why I can’t sleep at night and have a headache 6 hours a day and my blood pressure is through the roof. It’s hard because some people have said supportive things like “I don’t care what day it is, as long as it’s safe” or “the people who want to celebrate you guys will be there, no one is being forced to come,” but I can’t stop obsessing over the negative things people have said.
    • Reply
  • Jamasonmd
    Dedicated July 2021
    Jamasonmd ·
    • Flag

    We moved our MD July 2020 wedding to July 2021 and we are moving forward with plans. I understand your position of just not knowing. I feel stress and mine is 7 months away. Hoping and praying everything works out.

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