Erin
Beginner May 2020

Moving in

Erin, on October 5, 2019 at 1:53 PM Posted in Community Conversations 2 113
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How many people lived with their partner before the wedding? We have been engaged since June and are getting ready to move in together. The only issue I have is that we aren’t planning to have the wedding till 2021. Is two years to long to live together without being married?

113 Comments

  • L
    Devoted August 2019
    Leaves232 ·
    • Flag

    My husband and I lived together for 4 years before we got married! I honestly can’t imagine planning a wedding and finding a new place and moving in together all at the same time.

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  • Megan
    Rockstar November 2020
    Megan ·
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    My fiancé and I dated for 3 years, did some long-distance during that time, then moved in together. We lived together for about a year before getting engaged. It’s personal for everyone but worked out great for us.
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    My FH and I will have lived together for over 2 years once we get married.
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  • Paige
    Devoted August 2020
    Paige ·
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    We have lived together for four years, it will be five by the time we get married. I think it’s personal preference, but if you’re going to live together anyway I don’t think it matters how long before you get married
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  • Erin
    Beginner May 2020
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    Thanks everyone! I’ve just been hearing a lot of “living together is the same as getting married why wait?” It seems like people don’t understand that the main reason I’m waiting so long is so I can have time to save and plan for the wedding I want
    • Reply
  • Heather
    Devoted February 2020
    Heather ·
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    We have been living together since 2014 and are getting married in 4 months. We were living together before we were even engaged. Personally I felt it was important to make sure being around each other 24/7 didn’t drive either of us insane. Actually I think it’s brought us closer together.
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  • V
    Savvy March 2021
    Violet ·
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    My FH and I have lived together since February and we got engaged in July. Wouldn't have it any other way for us!

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  • M
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba Online ·
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    No. I moved in with DH and lived with him for over 2 years before we were married last month.

    I never wanted to live sith a man without benefit of marriage. However, it was an economical solution for me.

    My Mom passed away 20 days before my lease was up on my Apt. I had already put my notice in. I wouldn’t have been able to pay the rent and a Mortgage.

    It was really the best thing to do.

    Even if you don’t live with them during the week, make sure to do so on the weekends. You have to be able to gauge their habits. Does he cook all the time, or just for special occasions?

    Does he do the laundry every week or just when he runs out of clean underwear?

    How often does he clean the Bathroom and Kitchen?

    Does he only Vacuum when you’re going to be there?

    Or does he wait for YOU to do everything when you come over?

    DH cooks, cleans, does laundry (washed my Mom’s clothes), Vacuums, keeps the Bathrooms and Kitchen clean (and Mops too), and keeps the Grass cut at both of our houses.

    I had a list of things that I wanted in my Spouse. Two of them were cooking and cleaning. The unwritten one was to at least be able to do anything that I can do (possibly better as we all have strengths and weaknesses) than me. As an only child of a Divorced Mother, there were a lot of things that had to be done to keep our household going.

    Therefore, I wanted an = partner 👫, not just a Husband. I learn by observation, and what I saw in the relationships around me was not appealing.

    Hence the list so that I didn’t end up Divorced or unhappily (see bitter and resentful) Married.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Devoted June 2020
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    We moved in together after dating for about 9 months , lived together over a year before being engaged, and will live together another year before being married. You’re fine.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    Unless it’s for religious reasons, I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want to live with their future spouse before marriage. You truly get to know someone on another level living together. It was critical to us that we knew how to balance money, priorities, and time before we even considered marriage. We moved in together after 6 months and will have lived together for 2.5 years by the wedding.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Devoted October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    We've lived together almost three years now. It'll be about 3 1/2 years when we're married.

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  • Michelle
    Devoted October 2020
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    That was important to me. I wasn't financially stable enough to have a place on my own until I was about 26 really so when we got a place together and lived together we had been together about 5 years by that time (I'm now 30). People are like 'OMG you've been together forever, get married and propose to her!" I wasn't really ready until maybe 2 years ago.

    • Reply
  • Destiny
    Rockstar May 2020
    Destiny ·
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    3.5 years we've been loveing together!
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  • Sexypoodle
    VIP October 2020
    Sexypoodle ·
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    FH and I currently live together. We moved together six months before he proposed. It will be nearly 2.5 years living together by the time we get married. It’s what you and FH want. Not what anyone in this forum says.
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  • Bella
    Dedicated May 2020
    Bella ·
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    My fiancé and I will have lived together for 4 years by the time we get married! We are about to celebrate our 5 year anniversary. It’s worked for us, can’t imagine it any other way!
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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    • Flag
    It was a must for us before marriage to make sure we were compatible in finances, housework, sharing spaces etc.
    We moved in after 6 months after dating and got married 3 years later.
    I do feel that not much changed once we were married which is fine by me. A lot of people who dont live together until after the wedding always talk about how they're so stressed and realize they cant sleep well with another person next to them, or some other crazy stuff. The adjustment period can be rough!
    • Reply
  • Heather
    Dedicated July 2020
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    I have been living with mine for 3 years and we are getting married this summer.. I wouldn’t have it any other way. You don’t really know your partner until living with them (at least that’s my opinion!).
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  • W-K
    Super October 2019
    W-K ·
    • Flag
    We didn’t move in together until this past week (wedding is Friday) due to our religious beliefs. With my first husband we moved in right away and were living together for 6 months before our wedding. I really don’t think it makes much of a difference. In my experience, in relationships, it’s usually not the living together that makes or breaks the relationship. It’s the attitude of the couple and willingness to work through differences.
    • Reply
  • Eri
    Expert October 2020
    Eri ·
    • Flag

    We've been living together for over for years, and still have another year to go before we're married!

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  • M
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes!!!! I had been😴’g in a 👸🛏 by MYSELF for 15 years, it was a very big adjustment to share that size with someone. We are going up to a 🤴asap!!
    • Reply

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