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Alexandra
Beginner March 2020

Moving in With In-laws

Alexandra, on September 5, 2020 at 1:40 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 11
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DH and I have a rather unique situation. We currently own our home, but we are looking at building a new house with more space that we can grow into when we decide to have children. Unfortunately, due to requirements with the builder, we will he temporarily "displaced" for 5-7 months after we sell our house and while our house is being built. We have decided that we will live with his parents for that time period. They are welcoming enough, and we would have the entire second story of their home to ourselves, so we will have plenty of space. The issue is that his mother and I have always had a really rocky relationship. DH and I are high school sweethearts, and there has always been this sense that I was "taking" her little boy from her. I can't shake the feeling that I'm not welcome and liked, and now we are planning to live with them. This house is a dream home to us, and we can both see us raising our family there, so I'm willing to do what I have to but I really, really don't like it. Sorry for the rant. Does anybody have any tips as far as living with your in laws? Maybe some hopeful stories? Bonus points if you survived living with them with a rocky in law relationship.

11 Comments

Latest activity by MIWM, on September 7, 2020 at 12:32 PM
  • Hermione
    Expert February 2020
    Hermione ·
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    Establish boundaries like you would with any roommate. It's easy to get your toes stepped on.


    I am currently surviving this and it is not making the in law relationship better. We are trying to sell a house to buy a house. So I pay all the adult bills from mortgage to electric etc and living with my in laws.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I lived with mine for half a year and I love them but space was such an issue cause you are pretty confined and cause the house isn’t yours to do with. My advice is make do with the space as best as you can!
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  • Alexandra
    Beginner March 2020
    Alexandra ·
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    Do you feel like living with them made your relationship better, worst, or did it stay the same? I'm worried it will make everything worst, but my husband thinks I just dont spend enough time with them. But its kinda hard to spend time with someone that acts like they don't like you, so...
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  • Hermione
    Expert February 2020
    Hermione ·
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    It's a worse for me because the thing is they step on my boundaries and they don't want to change. For example, one of my boundaries is no cooking with cinnamon or ginger because I am allergic and it sends me to the hospital. They forget my allergy every 3 months and the stupid excuses start while I am in the er. We didn't know is the stupidest because it's happened more than 4 times and we've told them I am anaphylactic to it. If they found a way to eat cinnamon without sending me to the er, fine.... But that's not what happens. If I saw them a handful of times a year I wouldn't care about them eating cinnamon.... There are multiple examples of this type of boundary being broken. There is a lot of passive aggressive behavior and it has worn on my relationship with my husband. We're almost out but don't do it unless you have to.
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  • Alexandra
    Beginner March 2020
    Alexandra ·
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    Yikes. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you guys are moving out. I told my husband that if im not comfortable and our relationship is deteriorating that I would want to move in with my parents. Thankfully he agrees. So we have options at least. We are moving in with his parents because his mom kinda threw a fit of sorts when we mentioned living with my parents because shes "always left out." Whatever. As far as boundaries go, I'm mainly concerned with our pets. We have a dog and 2 cats. His family are big dog lovers and don't like cats, despite having one. They have two Belgian malinois attack dogs (I kid you not, both are trained on home security). Im worried about them hurting my cats. If that happened I would probably never forgive them or myself.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I recommend considering couple's counselling. As this seems to be an in issue with the "taking her son" for several years. Make sure his parents definitely feel that it's a temporary arrangements such as maybe not doing much decorating in the space you're staying in.
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    Could you do a short term lease at an apartment? such as month to month?
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  • Alexandra
    Beginner March 2020
    Alexandra ·
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    That's an option we considered, but we have 3 pets. One of which is a 100lb german shepherd mix that wouldn't do well in an apartment. We also would save a lot more money for new furniture, etc by staying with one of our parents
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    Oh I see! That does make sense. Def do what is best for you & your DH. I know it's hard.
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  • Natalie
    Super November 2020
    Natalie ·
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    Could your parents keep your cats until your new home is ready?
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  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
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    Moving in with in laws in my opinion not a good idea

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