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Beginner March 2021

Mother/son Dance

Hannah, on April 19, 2020 at 3:27 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 11

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So my FH and FMIL do not have the best relationship. He’s the youngest and his oldest brother is the golden child. She doesn’t like me and oversteps boundaries constantly, is rude towards both of us, etc. I know my FH doesn’t feel comfortable dancing with her because we both know that while they are dancing she’ll probably be wishing it was her other son. (When I was pregnant with our daughter she always talked about how her other son was so excited to be an uncle, but never how my FH was excited to be a dad). What do y’all recommend we do? I think he just says he will do it because he knows it’s traditional and honestly we asked if she had a song that she wanted them to dance to and she told him no.

Me not doing a Dad/Daughter dance is not an option because I am very close with my dad and he raised me all alone so that’s something I want to do as a thank you.

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Jana, on April 19, 2020 at 9:49 PM

Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on April 19, 2020 at 3:38 PM
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He doesn’t have to and honestly shouldn’t dance with her if he doesn’t want to. Just because you’re having your dance doesn’t mean he must. I wouldn’t want that type of negativity on my day.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on April 19, 2020 at 3:38 PM
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I’d say ultimately it’s your FHs call. I wouldn’t try to sway him one way or the other.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on April 19, 2020 at 3:39 PM
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But yes it is good to remind him he doesn’t have to do it just because it’s tradition!
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Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on April 19, 2020 at 3:39 PM
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He should either have a heart to heart with her about her behavior or make the decision if he really wants to do a dance to keep up appearances with someone who is so rude to the both of you.
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Beginner March 2021
Hannah · on April 19, 2020 at 3:47 PM
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He’s tried discussing her behavior she sees nothing wrong with how she acts. I want him to do whatever he’s comfortable with so I just told him “hey if you don’t feel comfortable dancing with your mom you don’t have to”

She loves to play the Pity party card so I’m sure if he goes with that decision she will have some sob story to tell people 🙃
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Beginner March 2021
Hannah · on April 19, 2020 at 3:48 PM
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Yes I’ve already told him it’s completely up to him! I said I’d help him pick a song if he decides to do the dance because there’s not anything that reminds him of her! Thank you!
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Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on April 19, 2020 at 3:49 PM
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That’s a really rough situation for you guys to be in. I just hope it resolves itself and you don’t let it affect your relationship.
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Beginner March 2021
Hannah · on April 19, 2020 at 3:55 PM
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Thank you! It’s very frustrating, I had to finally say something to her because we started to argue about it. Now it’s just at a point where I avoid her at all costs because she has 0 respect for me we definitely don’t let it affect us.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on April 19, 2020 at 4:01 PM
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I just wouldn't dance with her as she sounds rude and inconsiderate. My sister-in-law didn't have a special dance with her dad. He lives in Florida and the wedding was in Pennsylvania. He had promised her he would be there, but told her a few weeks before he couldn't make it. She didn't want to dance with anyone else. My brother had the mother/son dance plus he had a sister dance. I danced with him for the first half of a song and my sister danced with him for the second half. My brother-in-law's wife's father also couldn't make it to their wedding because he had stroke. Prior to the stroke, it was debatable if he would attend because she doesn't really have a relationship with him. At the reception, she went to the DJ during the mother/son dance and told him she decided she wanted to have a dance with her one uncle. She had previously said she wasn't going to because she didn't want to upset anyone in her family for dancing with someone other than her father, but she ultimately decided that was something she wanted. If your future mother-in-law can't be nice and your fiance is uncomfortable with dancing with her, I would just skip it unless there is someone else he is close to that he would like to share a dance with.
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Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on April 19, 2020 at 4:13 PM
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Sometimes with people like that, that’s the best thing you can do. You don’t feed a fire itll eventually go out.
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Master October 2022
Jana · on April 19, 2020 at 9:49 PM
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It's completely ok to skip the dance, especially with a bad relationship.
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