Mothers-in-law

My MIL and I have a complicated relationship. She's not happy that I'm not Costa Rican or Catholic and that I lead to FH moving to the States. Originally, she refused to attend the wedding. Then she sent us an engagement gift and shower present. She still can't come to the wedding because of Covid, but I think that she at least wanted to.

We have a cordial relationship although I wouldn't say we are close. We all go to the same church and I actually met her before getting to know her son/my fiance. We've gone on a weekend missions trip to Baja too and my fiance wasn't there but his parents drove me and my siblings, so that was a special time of getting to know one another. Other than that, we hardly spend time with each other's families but are friendly with each other.

View Quoted Comment His brother also passed about 6 years ago which was before we met so he only has a niece and her children in his life. We make the most of the time with them.

I get along great with my FMIL. My FW and I got together at a weird point in my life where I was basically dropping all of my very toxic family and was moving 15 hours away from them and was on my own. So her whole family honestly has been AMAZING and has really taken me in. I have had many talks with her mom and told her about my past and she has taken me in as her own. Which is a huge deal because I am the first of the people that my FW has ever dated that her mom has ever liked or even really talked to. Here recently I have had some medical issues and my FMIL has taken off work to go to doctors appointments with me and figuring out next steps. It has been a true god send! On Friday I asked her if she would join me to go dress shopping in about a month and a half and her response "I wouldn't miss it for the world" *cue all of the tears*

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Ooooh that would make that a bit rough. lol

My MIL is honestly like a second mother to me at this point. My husband and I lived with her for about 2 years when I was in university, so I got to know her really well really fast. She's been there through it all, and has been so supportive. Even when my husband and I went through a rough patch while we lived with her, she was behind me 100% and had no problem telling that to her son.

We have had our moments though, especially during wedding planning. She had drastically different expectations of what our wedding would be like, and it took her a while to accept that it would be a more casual wedding than she would have preferred. But once she came around she was really supportive and helpful with it all.

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Maybe sending the gifts is her olive branch? Hopefully things get better with time!

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I love this! It's so special that you two are so close.

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I'm not sure why MIL's think they have a say in their children's wedding (unless they are asked for the opinions). But it is great that you two are so close and she is so supportive of you.

I had met mine only 2x on the 10p ths before we got engaged. Wonderful from the start. My FFIL made up for it by being awful from the first meeting. Armed truce our short engagement. lots of things we disagree with each other now, but after about 2 2 years marriage, he apologized. Mever realized someone from another race, religion, culture, and a femmy with her own name, could be a good wife to his son. Suddenly, MIL no longer restricted in driving up to see us, planning things. It was tough,she does not drive (NYC) so outside the city, in New Hampshire, if papa said no, MIL and I did not have contact. Now they stay with us or locally 5-6 times a year, for 1-3 weeks. Love all their grandchildren. And my Mom and auntie and MIL have our own women's society.

Edit FIL apologized after 2 1/2 years ( not 22 years.)

My FMIL is opinionated and racist, so no relationship for me. Or her son.

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I'm glad things turned around and everyone gets along now!

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I'm so sorry. That is really terrible to hear. Hopefully one day she can mature and learn to love everyone!

View Quoted Comment It's okay! I hope she can too, but I'm grateful my parents are involved and they make my husband feel welcome!

I am close to her now! when we were dating, we were not close at all because i just always felt like she didn't like me as much as his ex gf. but now i realize it's cause we honestly didn't know each other either.

We live three hours away from his family, and it’s definitely a good thing. We get along just fine when we’re visiting, but I can only be around them for so long. We used to live fifteen minutes from them, and it was too much.

I LOVE my FMIL!!! She's a really great lady, and reminds me a lot of my own mom, who passed away 18 years ago. Planning my first (only) wedding without her has been hard, but I've found that FMIL is a really great bonus mom! She was hesitant to reach out about wedding planning at first, because she didn't want to offend me, or have me feel like she was taking over. But once I realized she wanted to be involved as much as I wanted her, it was great!!!! She only has two sons, so never got to do any of the cool mother/daughter planning stuff. I don't have my mom, but it turns out she's a great alternative! She went dress shopping with me, is planning a bridal shower for me, and is always there for me when I need advice or to just vent. I'm so lucky! I hit the In-Law jackpot!!

I feel like the universe is making something up for me.

As is well documented, my mother is terrible.

My MIL is a delight and I love her and I'm *very* grateful.

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That great that you two are so close. It's nice to have someone to fill the void of your mother!