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Beginner September 2021

Mother/father in law issues

Danielle, on January 27, 2020 at 2:05 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6

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Hi ladies! So my FH and I have our interesting crazy long love story but I will try to keep it short here. end of **** we were dating (I was 19 & he was 24) mature but young and dumb. We split up due to issues I would rather not get into, but during and after the break up me and my future mother in law always had a good relationship, lunches, nail appointments, shopping or just overall spending time together. We would keep in contact through the years my FH and I were not together just to check in. We got back together a little over a year ago because our lives without one another just wasnt the same and of course, we grew up a lot. Anyways, through the year of us being together his sister has asked him when he was going to do it, his family was all for it etc. He proposed exactly how I always dreamed on Christmas Eve with my whole family there and his sister and BIL with family on facetime because his parents live in TN now. They seemed happy to us that it happened, everybody seemed happy. Then everything changed. My FMIL all of a sudden wouldnt text me back, she just didnt seem like the person I knew before. My FFIL never changed he seemed happy for us and still talked to me etc. I asked my fiance to speak with his mother about it because it bothered him as well (they see each other more often because of work) and there just hasnt been an opporunity for either of us to do so. An argunemt happened over the phone in front of his dad unbeknownst to me and now they both started acting strange. I just was curious on advice as to if this has happened to anyone else and what a possible solution is. They want to have a sit down with us to discuss our relationship but I personally feel our relationship is between my fiance and I and they have no business telling us how to be together. Everyone is different, everyones relationship works different. This is the man I have never stopped being in love with and vice versa. Again, I know I shouldnt let it get to me but these are my FIL and I dont want there to be any ill will between us. Sorry for how long it is, but thank you for taking the time to read it.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Danielle, on January 27, 2020 at 3:13 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on January 27, 2020 at 2:20 PM
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Having a conversation with them doesn’t mean that you have to change your relationship to suit their desires. You asked your FH to have a conversation with his mom about your relationship with her. Now she wants to have a conversation with you. That seems like a more mature and direct way to come up with a solution, which is what you wanted in the first place.
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Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on January 27, 2020 at 2:22 PM
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My now husband and I broke up at one point over a horrible situation. I tried to keep it private because I was humiliated and also i wanted to protect him in case it ever got resolved. After some Facebook stalking my family figured it out anyway. So when we got back together they were like umm what/why...? But I told them we had worked it out and wanted to move forward and not dwell on the past. And that was all I said, no more elaboration. Because like you said your relationship is your business only. I wouldn’t let them be involved in this and just tell them it’s between you and your fiancé.
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Beginner September 2021
Danielle · on January 27, 2020 at 2:34 PM
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Well he hasnt been able to have the conversation with either of them because typically when they come out here once a month its strictly for business (his family owns the business) so speaking about personal things, theres not much of a window to do so. You do have a point of sitting and hearing what they have to say, I just worry about them bashing on our relationship out of knowhere when they were fine with it before and all for him proposing until it actually happened, then one argument happens in front of his father and now they feel like they need to intrude in our relationship. Thank you for your advice, I really am taking it into account its just nice to vent and be able to get my feelings out.
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Beginner September 2021
Danielle · on January 27, 2020 at 2:37 PM
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That is pretty much spot on with our relationship. I am just extremely confused as to why they were so gun ho about his proposing and then once it happened it was a total 180 with them. Obviously, every relationship has arguments and just because he witnessed one that got quite a bit out of hand due to many reasons doesnt mean our relationship is going to fail, which when I was told they wanted to have this conversation is what he insinuated.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on January 27, 2020 at 2:51 PM
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First off, your conversations with your fiance shouldn't happen in front of his mother & father. He should know that. Your fiance needs to talk to his parents, he isn't a child anymore and if he chooses to get married to you, that's his decision. I would laugh if either of my in laws felt the need to ask me to "sit down" to discuss my relationship with my husband and I for sure wouldn't do it.
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Beginner September 2021
Danielle · on January 27, 2020 at 3:13 PM
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Absolutely! I truely dont think he did it on purpose, he was at work and was fed up but it isnt an excuse. We both were in the wrong and dealt with it later. Thats my whole thing is sitting down to get in the middle of our relationship makes me laugh as well. I do have a temper and a mouth on me, I have always been respectful with them and never said anything or have done anything to cause any of this (besides the petty argument) but I do have some things to say to them but I am not trying to continue the entire thing. He told me this morning he spoke with his dad but didnt get into detail due to being at work so hopefully he said the right things to get this passed over.
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