Mother-son dance & no father-daughter dance

You can do a a brother sister dance or uncle and niece dance and dedicated to your father you can have a picture of your father at the ceremony and light a candle for him you can use those tears and mix them with tears of joy knowing that your dad is looking down at you and your soon-to-be husband is going to be right there with you through this process as well as your family and your friends

This is a very hard situation and I'm very sorry you are going through it. I think it's clear to dont want to replace your dance. I think trying to think of it as 2 separate things and try to separate him getting his moment and you not getting yours. I would let him have his moment, as hard as it may be, becuae you dont want to take that from him. Try to view it as happy for him, instead of sad for you. Again I know this is very hard and way easier said then done. Sorry you dont have your dad with you. Also, just know, it is okay to loose it and cry or have to leave the room. I dont think anyone would judge or say anything!

My father has not been in my life for many years and sadly no other male figure in my family really deserves that position. FH has a step-dad and his real father so in order to avoid any feelings getting hurt, etc. I'm thinking of only doing our first dance and skipping out on the rest, I don't want anyone trying to dance with me because they feel bad during the mother-father dance. It's def not just about me only FH decided because of both dads and them being equally in his life we just don't want there to be any confusion or hurt feelings. I was at a wedding where the DJ forgot about the brides mother & father both being deceased and accidentally called the parents of the bride out for a special dance. It was my cousins wedding and her face will never be erased from my memory, she was embarrassed and alone. My Mom (her aunt) and my Uncle (also her uncle) were sitting at the same tale and I told them they should dance in their place and thankfully that calmed the moment a bit. We also thought of doing only a special mom dance with our own moms and switching in the middle of the song since both of our moms played the single mom role while raising us. Your wedding doesn't have to be by the book, we will dance with our parents and each others parents through out the night and we'll have a great time. Sometimes simplifying it makes it a bit easier for the both of you. Good Luck!

I can’t begin to imagine how difficult this is for you, I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. In all fairness, it’s hard to put myself into a situation I’m not in but I would talk to your FH and see what kind of compromises you can make on this. Most DJs can fade the song out after a minute or two to keep it short and sweet. Would it help if the song was more upbeat instead of slower? Slow sappy songs can bring out those painful emotions out even more. But maybe with a shorter dance and happier song it might take some of the sting away. It’s your fiancés wedding too, and it sounds like this is something he really wants but it seems like he understands. I think you’re very brave to consider it ❤️

View Quoted Comment Thanks Hannah, this is spot on to try to separate the two feelings. ❤️❤️❤️

View Quoted Comment Thanks Rachel, I really like this. It is the slow sappy ones that kill me inside. I am thinking they might like the shorter dance as well. 💕

I'm not having a father daughter dance either, but its because my dad has decided not to attend. He hasn't been a part of my life for the last 10 years and it is probably for the best, but it will be hard for me to watch FH and his mom too. I'm trying to focus on the fact that this moment is about them, and definitely something his mom has been dreaming of since he was born. And we are almost 40 so that is a long time to wait! lol. I am hoping I will be able to focus on them and their happiness and not my missing dance/dad when it actually happens.

I lost my dad 17 yrs ago, I know how you're feeling. My mom never re-married, so I have no father figure at all to substitute. I get EMOTIONAL seeing this at anyone's wedding, and always have to hold myself together. ;'(

My fiance was totally understanding that I did not want any of this, and we did not have either dance. He thought it would be awkward to dance with his mom anyway LOL. Just tell your fiance, and he will understand. The most important people are the two of you that night, and no one else should be upset about this choice.

We chose to do a big group dance, called everyone up, and did the Cha-Cha slide and Macarena. That was kind of our way of dancing with our family.