Mother-Son dance Necessary?

My FH won't be doing a mother-son dance either, and like your FH, he is also on good terms with his mom.

Definitely not necessary. If he's not comfortable doing it, it will look awkward to everyone watching. Maybe he can find some other way to showcase his relationship with his mother and include her in the planning or creating of whatever that is. Also, it's probably a good idea for him to let his mom know now of his plans just so it's not first coming out a week before the wedding.

Certainly not necessary.

FH isn't doing one, neither he or him mom care

Do you know how his mom would feel about not doing it? I would be crushed if my son didn't want to do the mother/son dance. It's only a few minutes out of the day, yet the memory of it will last a lifetime.

I'm with KTs mom. This is usually pretty important to moms. I have an unmarried adult son, and if he wouldn't allow me to enjoy this three minutes of pleasure after two decades of raising him and meeting his every physical need, I'd be hurt. If it's an absolute impossibility for your FH to dance with his mother -- as in, he's going to have a panic attack if he does -- then please make sure she is honored in some way. Maybe he could write her a beautiful letter and makes sure she gets it on the morning of the wedding, or he could stand up and say something nice about her while toasting her. If she's been a good mother, I think she deserves a little something special.

Since they have a good relationship I would say it depends on how his mom would feel about the situation. I know that my FH would love to skip the mother/son dance, but his mom would be crushed.

My FH and his mom isnt doing one...but neither are me and my dad. I skipped over that portion lol. I'm sure we will dance with them...it just wont be a spotlight event.

Mine isn't doing one... And I'm actually kinda glad because those individual dances get boring. Our wedding will only have our first dance & father/daughter then the sentimental stuff will be over and everyone can have a good time.

Boring? There are lots of things that could be considered boring during the entire wedding. The toasts, cutting the cake, some may even think that the ceremony is boring. It's 3 minutes! I hope to God my kids think enough of me to give me my 3 minutes!

I think you should ask how his mother would feel about it.

We werent going to do them either because I dont have a father and I didnt want any shred of a thought popping into peoples heads as to why I didnt do a dance. However, FH's mother would have been crushed so since he didnt care one way or another, they are doing one, (and shes very excited).

Just another thought to consider, but it is ultimately both you and your FH's choice!

We are not. My FH has a great relationship with his mother and his mother is, in face, a competitive dancer. The problem is that I have a lot of drama with my father that will be exacerbated by FH having a mother-son dance, but me blatantly not having a father-daughter dance. I'm still looking for solutions to that, honestly lol.

The spotlight dances are far from thrilling, but they're really not about the guests. I think of them as the last part of the ceremony, and then the party begins. Last wedding I went to was so huge, you couldn't even see the spotlight dances, but It didn't bother me. I realized this was a huge day for the parents of the bride and the parents of the groom, and so what if we had to wait for ten or fifteen minutes so that the parents were honored. The reception featured a great DJ, an open bar, excellent food, and a beautiful indoor/outdoor venue that the guests got to enjoy for five hours. The time it takes to go through spotlight dances is never an issue for me.

I'm in the same boat - my FH is on the autism spectrum, and being the center of attention like that is anxiety-inducing, and brings out ticks like throat-clearing, sniffing, and coughing. My father is on dialysis and has a balance disorder, so we'll be skipping the spotlight dances. There are other ways to honor ones parents, with speeches, for example - dances are not necessary.

FH isn't doing a mother/son dance. At this point his mother isn't even coming to the wedding though. She'd be crushed but for the simple fact that she can't make the day all about her. It might sound horrible to say, but it couldn't be truer.

Our DJ suggested an alternative to the mother/son dance. He suggested the song starts out with just the mother/groom on the dance floor and then the DJ invites other mother/son duos who are there to join the groom and his mother on the dance floor. Takes the spotlight off the groom & his mother for that dance. Same with father/daughter dance too.

My FH mom wants to do one but she is the one that is actually more shy and doesn't like being in front of people. She didn't want to dance up there with him for the full 3 minutes so they are going to start dancing just the two of them and then after about 30 seconds or so I'm going to invite my mom to dance with me up there and we will make it into a general mother dance.

But I would definitely talk to her. If she wants to do it, he should do it. It is your day but its also about the people who have supported you along the way.

Rebbeca and Karen your ideas are fab! I'll see how hubby to be feels about it

My FH didnt either cuz he is shy but his mom and him are very close and she is amazing so she really deserves to have that moment. I ended up finding the perfect song and had him just listen to the lyrics, I said nothing else. He had me play it again like 2 more times and he fell in love with it and decided to do it. His mom was a single parent for quite sometime while his dad was an alcoholic and died when my FH was 16. So his mom is his everything even though he is a brat to her sometimes. The song is absolutely perfect for them and he is going to surprise her with it.

All to you by Scott Keo

We are not doing the either dances. My father passed several years ago and FH does not want to do the dance. His mom will be helping pay or a lot of different things for the wedding and is aware. She was a little disappointed when we told her but she understands that its our day.

You could also do just one parent's dance. Where you do the father/daughter and mother/son at the same time

I must say my oldest son was married yesterday and while I wasn't sure how I felt about the mother/son dance. He picked it out on his own and soon as i started to dance with him and heard the music I had tears rolling down my face. Meant the world to me