Mother of the groom trying to invite extra guests

It posted before I was done, sorry editing and fixing wording!

Tell her B listing guests is rude. Would you want to be invited somewhere because others declined? That's what I would tell her. It's hurtful if those guests find out. Not to mention, extremely poor etiquette.

Just say no! Get those bridal balls and tell her B-listing is rude and you won't do it. Just keep saying no. Stay strong.

Bridal balls, I love that! Okay thanks everyone, nice to feel at least reaffirmed by others before going into that conversation so I can stay strong!

My mom tried to do this yesterday. I just said no. No no no no

FMIL tried to casually mention that maybe we could invite a couple they are friends with (that they haven't seen in years and I've never met) our invitations were just finished with the guest names and addresses printed on the envelope so I told her no our list is final at this point

I'm having this issue with my future MIL too. She keeps wanting to add friends to the list and I've had to tell her "no there are people my FH and I wanted to invite that are OUR friends we couldn't invite so we just don't have room on the list". I know once rsvps are due she'll ask again and I'll have to hold my ground. It's YOUR wedding don't give in. The last time she asked in person I didn't even respond which FH thought was hilarious. I just stared blankly for a few minutes til she changed the subject. No is a complete sentence and I've already said it more times than I need to. Discussion over. She didn't contribute financially and doesn't have a say.

Just tell her no. The invitations have already gone out and it is not possible to add anyone at this point. Keep saying no until she gets it.

"I'm sorry, but we invited the list we wanted to invite and we're happy with where the responses have gone. We will not be adding additional people."

The end.

Is anyone having luck with their FMIL today?

Stick to your gut!

I think your FI should be the one to talk with his mom.

I would tell her in a nice way no

I have a feeling my MIL will do this.

Like you said, you and your fiance both had other people you wanted to invite, if you're gonna add any more names, it will be someone you guys want. Personally, I wouldn't bring up it's "rude to b- list", because simply it's not true. There are many circumstances where it's fine. I highly doubt your FMIL friend would be offended that she wasn't on the A- list. I'm pretty sure a grown adult understands that the bride and grooms friends come first. Telling her it's rude to b-list she could very possibly just laugh, tell you nonsense she'd understand (which she likely would) and you'd be in the same predicament.

I cannot begin to tell you how tacky this is. My mother has been doing the same thing for the entirety of my engagement to the point where she just hijacked 65 out of 100 invitations (good luck sending them anywhere without envelopes or RSVP cards 😈)


She is trying to invite people I have never seen or met before in my life. These are old school, entitled women who think they're allowed to manhandle you with impunity.
I made a concession as an experiment that my mother could invite whoever she wanted to my wedding shower. If they acted like housebroken adults at the shower, we could find room for them at the wedding.
Big mistake. One woman thought it was okay to bulldoze over to me, grab and shake my face, and squeal "(Look at this facial Bella! Cara!" (I'm 38 and would never done this to another adult). Another of my mother's guests repeatedly throttled me because some of the food made me a little nauseous (I have occasional GI issues) asking if I was okay. Yeah, lady, I feel like I'm going to puke and you shaking me like a rag doll is really helping.
We took a group picture; Three people are sitting next to me and I have no idea who they are. One of them shoved my mother into the second row and the other two knocked my bridesmaids out of the way. These three unknown friends were the only downside to an otherwise wonderful shower. The group picture looks terrible because I look so uncomfortable because instead of my mother, my bridal party, or family sitting next toe, I have these pushy people I don't know crowding in on me and taking up space.
Experiment failed. If I don't know you, you are not invited to my wedding. Congratulate my mother when you see her in work on Monday.