Mother of the Bride

A plus one is for truly single guests. Not allowing you to bring your partner (of 8 months by that point), is rude. Since it’s your daughter, I would ask her why you cannot bring your partner. It’s likely that she’ll be missing her dad and maybe thinks seeing you with another man may bring up some difficult emotions.

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. It is definitely horribly inconsiderate of your daughter to not invite your significant other to her wedding (not to mention a huge etiquette “no no” asking someone to attend an event to celebrate their relationship, while simultaneously disrespecting theirs). I would have a talk with her, and try to get to the root of why. And make sure you explain your feelings on it. Maybe she is just worried that somebody so new in your life would end up in her forever wedding photos, and she’s afraid this person may not be around forever (or that it may feel like somebody trying to replace her father in the photos). I would let her know that you are OK with him not being in any family photos. I truly hope the two of you can come to a happy compromise that includes your significant other escorting you to the wedding.

I'm sorry for your loss.

You're dating and in a relationship now. It's very rude of your daughter to disrespect that by not inviting your partner.

I'm not sure what her reluctance is, but would it help to ask her? I would just say that you're in a relationship and would like that person invited to the wedding.

I see both sides. Your daughter is probably also missing her dad and the father/daughter events that go with a wedding. She may be trying to protect her own emotions in this scenario. Is it against etiquette given you have a new partner? Yes. But I'm guessing she always assumed her parents would be at her wedding together and it may be hard to accept that's not going to happen. Talk to her. My guess is you're both feeling the loss of her dad/your husband as part of her wedding in similar but possibly conflicting ways.

Weddings are emotional for all brides, especially brides who have lost parents. She probably only wants to invite close family and friends that she feels she can be emotionally vulnerable in front of. Why open up your heart and display your emotions in front of someone you barely know? You've only been dating for four months and your daughter lives out of state...does she even know him? If she was having a larger wedding, I would understand your hurt feelings, but she is having a micro wedding and not even inviting aunts, uncles or cousins.

Its also likely that she wants you to be by her side throughout her special day so you wont be alone. I think you are going to have to suck it up. If going alone feels unbearable to you, think about how it will feel for her if you bring someone new.

In your place I would let this one go. While it would be a generous offer and I'm very happy for you that you've met someone, these are still early days in your relationship. Not so long ago, relatively speaking, obligatory invitations to partners of guests applied only to spouses, engaged couples and those living together. Today, it's considered appropriate to also include mature adults in a long term committed relationship. Personally, I don't consider four months as of now, five or six by the time invitations are sent, to be very long term. Have your children even met your BF? Being that this is still so new, as PP say I think it's very likely that your daughter is emotional about the idea of someone else taking her dad's place at her wedding as it were. As a mom to at least three children, and the mother of the bride, I can hardly imagine you will be left alone.

I'd take the long term view if you want you, your daughter and your BF to have a good relationship moving forward. If you are still with this man by the time your next child gets engaged and married, then it may be time to say something.