Mother of the bride

You don't have to wear a "mother of the bride" dress, wear whatever you would normally wear to a wedding! Search for maid of honor speeches instead since that's closer to the role that an older sister would be doing. If she's actually calling you "the mother of the bride" that is very weird.

Ok first of all, relax and breathe. You are WAY overthinking this. A MOB doesn’t have “official” duties, so there’s nothing you HAVE to do. Just talk with the bride and see what exactly she would like you to help her with. If you want to throw her a shower, that’s great! But you do not need to act or dress like the bride‘s mother- just be a hostess (I.e., organize the event and activities, send invitations, and have fun!). You do not need to wear a MOB dress (heck, half the bride and grooms’ mothers don’t wear those dresses!). Just wear a dress you feel beautiful and comfortable in. As far as a speech, you do not need to give a “MOB speech”. Your speech/toast should just be spoken from the heart. If you would like examples, Watch some “wedding speech” or “maid of honor speech” YouTube videos for ideas. Or, if you really don’t feel comfortable giving a speech, see if the bride would be OK with just the maid of honor & best man doing the toasts.

I'm so sorry you lost your mom. You and your sister must have a close bond for her to ask this of you.
Just because you are walking her down the aisle doesn't mean you are taking on the mother role. You're the special person she wants by her side as she starts this new chapter.
As others have said, don't look for mob dresses. They are not meant for young 29 year olds to wear. Ask her to go dress shopping with you so you'll know what you choose is fine with her. Find a dress that you love and feel beautiful in.The speech just needs to come from your heart. Say what you want her to know as her sister. It sounds like you might be getting overwhelmed by the "mother" aspect. Let that title go. You're her big sister and that's a very important role in her life too.You are clearly taking this very seriously and putting a lot of thought into everything. That shows how important this is to you. It will be perfect in the end because of that.

I just wanted to add that it's incredibly sweet of you to step up for your sister in this time in her life

I agree with others that even though she asked you to fill the MOB "role," you're not actually expected to look like her mom or to refer to her as your daughter. As far as dresses go, wear what you would wear to any other wedding. Maybe even something a little elevated just to show your special role in her life (just don't pick something that will outshine the bride though lol). Maid of honor speeches would probably be a better thing to look for if you need inspiration for a speech.

Overall, don't stress too much and don't feel like you can't ask your sister for some guidance on her expectations either! You also have everyone here to ask for help as well!

I'm sorry for your loss!

I agree with everyone else. Just be you! Wear what you would normally wear to a wedding. If you're asked to make a speech, talk about how great your sister is and how happy you are to have her in your life.

First all, you're awesome for stepping up to be in this role for her. Seriously amazing.

The best thing about weddings? There's no real wrong way to do this stuff. You kinda get to do what you want. So talk with your sister about some of the stuff! Maybe she has thoughts.

Don't think about the speech as a stand in for a father of the bride speech. Think of it more as a MOH speech - which is just a speech about how happy you are for the bride who is typically a best friend or sister anyways. Don't try and fit yourself into a traditional box because you're filling a role.

Though I will say - talk to your sister and think about maybe forgoing the dress all together (if you want) and getting a kick butt suit! Depending on the time of year you could do like a velvet suit with some gorgeous heels and sparkly accents.

Embrace the fact that you're a nontraditional person standing in for a traditional role. Make it your own, have fun, and celebrate your sister!

I'm sorry about your mom, but I think it's so sweet that you are stepping up to help make your sister's day as incredible as possible.


For the dress, I would look at more of bridesmaid type dresses. You absolutely don't have to wear a mother of the bride style dress. You can wear something that makes you feel beautiful.
For the shower, I would see if her fiance's family, her bridesmaids or other family want to help with organizing and planning with you.
The speech like others have said I would make it more similar to the maid of honor speech than the mother or father of the bride speech.

MOB has no official duties that a big sister cannot fill being just a big sister. It’s sweet you’re walking her down the aisle. My only advice is just be her big sister. We are everything our parents are not and also an extension of a parent in some ways. Just breathe! As for the dress, you should be able to wear whatever you want!

View Quoted Comment I've all but raised her so it's not all that weird. But mostly she's just asked me step into the role and also walk her down the aisle.

Thank you all for the advice. I definitely teared uo reading them. Some definitely hit the nail on the head with getting overwhelmed with the mother part. I got married four years ago and it was very hard without my mom so I just want to do everything to avoid her feeling as big of a hole.