Mother of the Bride

Could you discuss the details with your FH or your mother in law (if you’re close). I know its really hard I have the same problem with my mom (she had me at 18 so she’s been more like my sister than a mom) and she’s just been completely unhelpful saying “I had to do everything on my own when I got married I didn’t have any help” But my FMIL has been so helpful and kind and my FH is set on certain details so its made up for it in my eyes.

I don't have a relationship with my biological mother but I have a close friend who adopted me as her daughter. She is not helping with any planning. But she is there for moral support as needed. She will not be involved as more than a guest, by her choice. However I do plan to get her a corsage and a nice gift.

Is it possible that she doesn’t want to overstep, so is keeping it cool? There are so many nightmare stories of mothers being awful in wedding planning!
You could try a heart-to-heart, say something like “Mom, I was really looking forward to lots of fun planning with you, but it feels like you aren’t interested. Is everything ok?”

That’s too bad. But everyone look at wedding differently, especially if not their own wedding. We are planning our renewal on our silver wedding. We eloped when I was 18 and pregnant with our son. I am very close to our 23 and 21 years old, but I too felt being treated differently since we plan for the wedding. I thought my 21yo daughter would be excited and would give me ideas, but nope. She is always okay...., whatever makes you happy, I will wear whatever you chose, good, then not giving me any input. Shr is usually telling me things to improve my art and cooking, but this time, I don’t know.... Even when I was playing music to choose my wedding songs, she was like “don’t use that, I want that for my wedding one day” 😳 I told her I introduced her those songs and I knew them before her, so jealousy? I mean, she was never jealous in any way. I don’t know why some behaves like them sometimes. No one in my family is excited for my wedding. At least I haven’t seen or hear any kind of mental support towards the wedding planning. I am having an intimate destination wedding, so my kids are my wedding party, and no one else, fyi.

Aww maybe you could have a talk with her and let her know that you would like her to be more involved? Maybe she doesn't want to step on your toes and come off as overbearing.


Both my mom and stepmom have been amazing during the planning of both my minimony and our upcoming big wedding. Let your mom know how you feel.

My mom helped as much as she could. However, she admitted she felt left out so we ended up asking her to help decorate for our rehearsal dinner. My mom went dress shopping with me and purchased my dress and veil. She also went with me to one of my floral appointments. Since your mom doesn't seem as interested as mine was maybe you could lean on others for support. You can also always post on here asking for help with things 🙂

View Quoted Comment I love this approach. At least if you do this you will know why she isn’t participating. My daughter is getting married in October and we are best friends. I can’t get enough of the wedding planning with her. I love every minute of it even though she has 6 bridesmaids who are very involved. I hope it works out for you.

My mom is throwing my fiance and I, a virtual wedding shower via zoom.

My mom and my FMIL showed very little interest in our wedding

I have the same issue. My mother has been less than helpful when it comes to giving advice or offering to help out in any way and I get fairly short responses when I ask her questions about things. Other than music, she seems to have very strong opinions on that. I just stopped asking her and started asking people who did seem interested, like my best friend and my FH's sisters. They've all been extremely helpful because they all got married more recently than my mother has. If you're really intent on getting her advice and help, I would have a sit down with her. Maybe she feels like she doesn't want to give her opinion because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings if she disagrees with you or has a different view. Some people would rather say little to nothing at all over saying something that may hurt someone they care about.

I have a toxic relationship with my mother and the wedding ended it entirely. (Thank god.)

My MIL did help us with venue searching, she and FIL hosted a fab rehearsal dinner, I stored my dress with them for a few weeks, and we also built our centerpieces in their living room while they were away (and stored them, too!).

Society puts a lot of expectations on the MOB and bride relationship, which are honestly ridiculous and harmful.

I'm sorry, you're not alone.

My mom honestly didn't do a dam thing haha. my mother in law though now she wanted to be ridiculously involved. so i let her be in charge of the social hour