Mother of the bride, what color to wear?

Definitely agree that first one looks like a wedding dress 😬


Perhaps make a suggestion to her and frame it as the other reason for your concerns are also the seasonality. “Hey mom what about a navy, emerald, plum, burgundy, black, or copper since our wedding is technically in the fall?”

My mom wore a light mauve/purple with silver accents, but our wedding was in spring, so that’s why. My MIL actually wore a dress that was mainly black with some white and navy. I actually heard from others after we got back from our honeymoon that people thought my MIL’s choice of dress was weird because it looked “out of season” and would have been more appropriate for a fall or winter wedding. 😂 Technically people can wear whatever they want, but I don’t think you would be out of line trying to politely steer your mom away from dress colors that look a bit too bridal, especially if you will be in white/ivory/blush yourself.

You are not out of line. Those are both pretty light, especially for the fall, and very ornate. I like Erin's idea of giving her a few colors to work with.

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Thank you! I thought I was going crazy or being a bridezilla 😅

I just sent her some examples that are fall colors and not as light. Hopefully it goes well! Thank you again for the help.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! 😊

Usually MOB just wears whatever she feels comfortable in. It’s not necessary to follow wedding colors or seasonal colors (although many MOBs choose to do so). To help prevent her from feeling judged or limited, maybe approach it as a bonding experience - tell her you were really looking forward to going shopping with her and helping her pick a dress. Set up a time to go shopping together and encourage some options in more Autumnal colors- hopefully she’ll fall in love with one of them!

View Quoted Comment Brilliant! I didnt even think about going dress shopping with her. I live in a different state as my mother but im coming back home for my bridal shower. Definitely could make time to dress shop with her! Thank you!

My mother wore a shimmery gold dress for my October wedding. It didn’t really matter what color she wore tbh. Everyone knows who the bride is so I wasn’t worried and I liked her dress. But if you’re more concerned with what your mother is wearing then you can always try to go shopping with her to give your input

I think in the past it was customary for the mother of the bride to wear a "champagne" colored dress, which may be where she got the color palette for these dresses.

That said, these days that color is going out of being the norm for exactly the reason we're all discussing; it's too light and often looks bridal. Especially since wedding dresses are no longer just pure white and often are ivory, cream, or even champagne themselves.
My bridesmaids were in a light gray-blue, my mom wore navy. That way she matched our color scheme, but stood out in her role AND didn't match *me*.

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Ohhhhh, that makes sense on why she was sending me those types of dresses.
Well I think I have a good handle on what to do now. I schedule a day for her and I to go shopping which will be good for the both of us. Thank you for the help!

I think Moms can wear neutral, champagne, or metallic (not ivory) if the style of dress is different from the Bride's. My mom was out of state also and tires easily, so I spent months online shopping and shipping her a few. Hers was full length beaded in champagne. My MIL even wore a white floral qipao (she asked if ok) & it was gorgeous and different. I just wanted them to feel beautiful and special down to the corsage selection. There are many WW posts about Moms and their own dress anxiety. Ultimately, everyone knows who is the Bride. Good luck & have fun shopping with your Mom.

The colors in the original post appear fine. as just mentioned, people would recognize you as the bride and it seems good that she be recognized as the bride's mother.

I think they both look like wedding dresses. To be honest, if it makes you uncomfortable then it doesn't matter what she wants or thinks. It is YOUR & YOUR PARTNERS day. You two have to decide together what color range is appropriate for guests. No white is a standard, but perhaps you'd prefer no pastels. I think it's entirely reasonable to ask her not to wear those dresses, especially if yours is in any way similar.

She got upset because you were out of line. There's nothing wrong with beige, champagne or pink, which as a PP says are all traditional MOB choices. The fact that some brides choose to wear a greater range of colors these days doesn't make it any more inappropriate and you haven't indicated your dress is anything but white or ivory even if it was. As others have said, no one is going to mistake her for the bride.

In any case, your mom is a grownup and her dress is really up to her. It doesn't have to match or coordinate with any color scheme unless she chooses to. I don't see anything wrong with an offer to shop together, but if she's already upset with you, I'm not sure how well that will go over.

Traditionally, they wear light complementary colors. Either way, they wear the flattering color of their choice that may or may not fall in line with the color scheme that you have chosen for flowers and bridesmaids, because anything else is considered dictating guest attire which is seen as impolite.


Weddings we have attended the moms usually something semi formal (less formal than the pictures you posted which are formal but not the beaded strapless ball gowns that are usually listed on dress websites as being the only choice for mother of the bride/groom attire) in a range of colors from pastels (no cream/ivory) to navy or dark purple. Black is too modern as a festive color for the moms in our social circles.
My mom wore bright purple because that’s her favorite color and it had nothing to do with the color palette we chose. Mother in law wore a dusty blue. Neither of them came from the “mother of the bride/groom” section of any store in person or online because they felt those were too inappropriately formal and matronly.

I like both of the dresses your mom sent you, super cute! If you’re getting a white dress then those dresses should be no problem. If you’re getting an ivory or another off white shade then I can see how the first one could be a problem. Pure white stands out though regardless of what color anyone else may wear


I told my mom she could wear anything she wants/ feels most comfortable and beautiful in. She ended up going with a navy dress which looked regal😍 since the bottom skirt of the dress was satin💙

Those pictures look a little too "bridal" to me, especially in those lighter colors. I used to work for a wedding planner and spoke with tons of photographers on this issue, and the rule of thumb we always shared is that anyone who will be included in portraits should avoid white, anything off-white (ivory, cream, etc.), or very light pastels. This is because there will be spotlights, camera flashes, etc., which will lighten things even more. Nobody wants to look like "that person" who wears white to a wedding (unless they're the type where any attention is good attention, which is a whole different issue). When someone wears something that photographs as white (or close to it), it can also make pictures look wonky. Other guests aren't so much an issue since they're in the background, but anyone who will be prominently featured (such as the MOB) should aim for more color. It can be any color, but just a dark enough hue that won't cause issues.

Definitely not something close to white or ivory, since that's tricky, but I've generally seen like other people mention: rich jewel tones (think navy blue, rich purple, etc. with embellishments) or metallic are common choices.

My mom is wearing a gold dress (picture attached) that my brother picked out for her, and she wore a different gold/lace/metallic dress to his wedding like 13 years ago. Gold is a good color, especially if your palette is warm and/or you're wearing gold!