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Just Said Yes June 2025

Mother of the Bride insisting on being the center of attention for ceremony

Dana, on May 27, 2025 at 5:02 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 3

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My mom and I have had a very difficult relationship my entire life. I am an older first time bride and there are certain traditions I believe in, like only my father walking me down the aisle. It took 1.5 yrs for my brother, SIL and stepfather to convince my mom that she wasn’t walking me down the aisle. Now it’s 25 days til my wedding and as we were reviewing who was invited to the rehearsal ceremony and what their duties were, she said, What am I doing during the ceremony? I said, technically nothing. She said, you need to come up with a prominent role for me for the ceremony. She is hosting the rehearsal dinner and her name was prominent on that invitation, so she would get her kudos…She’s been married 4x and this is my first and MY day. How do I get her to back down without upsetting her and so she still pays for the dinner (my dad and I are paying for the entire wedding)?

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3 Comments

Latest activity by Sara, on June 5, 2025 at 7:53 AM

Master October 2023
Michael · on May 29, 2025 at 1:46 AM
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Interesting. If she fails to pay or the dinner it seems she acts against her own interest. I'm not sure how she could back out of doing that, especially if she has made the arrangements. If possible, do the rehearsal with whatever circumstances happen -- hopefully not having a venue fee. If she backs out of the arrangement, hopefully pizzas could be ordered. You would just say that "things did not work out for the original rehearsal dinner. We are improvising"
Maybe she could be at the end toward the altar and give you a hug and kiss on the last few steps. The other thing she can do that a father normally misses is the time of getting dressed for the wedding.
Hopefully things work out without extra stress.
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Savvy June 2025
Sarah · on May 31, 2025 at 2:00 AM
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Hi Dana,

I would talk with her and tell her that you appreciate her being there and that you really need her to just watch and enjoy the ceremony. That the wedding is about you getting married and that her just having to watch the ceremony, doesn’t take away anything from your relationship with her. Make sure she feels loved, but remember this is your marriage and your wedding day and while you cannot control everyone, you can control who walks you down the aisle. It’s your wedding to plan and no one else’s (except the grooms lol)! You’re going to have a beautiful day. ❤️
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Just Said Yes May 2025
Sara · on June 5, 2025 at 7:53 AM
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It's frustrating when you're planning your big day, and the stress and excitement cause others to think/behave in self-interested ways.
Here's an outside the box idea...not sure if it's good, though:
Sometimes, giving people like your mom space to do what they want is the best way for you to be happy. If she makes a fool of herself, you can laugh it off cause it's not you. It's her. Live and let live.
*Like I said, not sure if this is the best advice.
CONGRATS on the big day!!
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