Marilyn
Just Said Yes March 2022

Mother of the Bride Dress

Marilyn, on July 23, 2021 at 7:48 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 17
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Help!


Does the mother of the bride and mother of the groom dresses need to match? Do any brides have their mother or MIL choose their own dress and color? Do they have to match the bridesmaid dresses? I honestly don’t know what color to tell them because they both keep asking me what color they should wear.

17 Comments

Latest activity by Alicia, on July 26, 2021 at 11:20 PM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    They each pick their own dresses and don’t match anyone. The only rule is don’t upstage the bride with a white dress.
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  • CountryBride
    Super April 2022
    CountryBride ·
    • Flag

    They don't need to match my mob dress is a lace knee length gown mog dress isn't going to be a dress but more like a pant suit because that's what she likes

    • Reply
  • Victoria
    Devoted June 2020
    Victoria ·
    • Flag
    I told them ‘where whatever you want’ because the rule is don’t tell moms what to wear. They kept nagging so I said fine, navy. Great, they both love navy. Everything they both own is navy. Then it was what length? I don’t care really, maybe short for a June wedding? Okay, great. Then they decide to talk because they don’t want to get the same dress. Awesome.
    My MIL shows her daughter her dress (and she is SO EXCITED TO HAVE THIS DRESS) and her daughter promptly tells her that navy large sequined dress is not only seasonally inappropriate, time of day inappropriate (looked evening-y), and looking like an attempt of bride upstaging, but also makes her look like a fish. 😂
    So she felt awful and terrible and apologized to me profusely (I had no idea why at first, and then laughed privately after because I was grateful that my MiL was saved from looking like a fish. I have no worries that she’ll ever upstage me or try to).My mother, on the flip side, was wearing a muted navy dress that had a cute little detail on the high neckline- gold grommets. She was worried it was too flashy.If I were ever to get married again, I now know that THEYLL be less stressed if I basically pick it out for them. I have a lot of freedom to my bridesmaids too (short, any shade of purple, match or don’t, whatever... bonus bridesmaids points if you can wear it again) and they said they wished there was a bit more guidance. So, do whatever is best for you and them is my long-winded point.
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  • Taylor
    Dedicated October 2021
    Taylor ·
    • Flag
    I let my mom and future MIL choose their own dresses - color, length, and all. They both happened to choose colors that compliment the wedding party, which I appreciated but didn’t require. (Guys are in navy, so MIL is wearing a midnight color dress; girls are in mauve, so my mom is wearing a burgundy/wine color dress.) I did go shopping with both, but that was girls day, not me telling them what to pick!
    • Reply
  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
    • Flag
    The mothers will not be matching bridesmaids at our wedding. The only requirements I had were they can’t be white/ivory/creme obviously and would stick to a darker color as I’m having a fall wedding and I think something bright would be out of place.
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  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag

    They don't have to match each other or the bridesmaids. However, since they're asking you, maybe send them this coordination guide which I really like:

    https://www.davidsbridal.com/Content_StyleandFashionGuide_styleguidemobcoordinator
    • Reply
  • Katherine
    Expert October 2021
    Katherine ·
    • Flag
    I let them pick their own dresses as long as they weren't white of course. My MIL was for some reason looking at that color🤦‍♀️. My mom personally did not want to match his mom at all or wear the color blue
    • Reply
  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    Conny ·
    • Flag
    I’m 40 days away from my wedding! You’re lucky your MIL asked you what she should wear / color. My MIL had a meltdown when I suggested she wear certain dresses / colors and I was simply trying to make her feel included.
    Basically, I learned that older women don’t like being told what to do/ wear even if they may ask. So I have told her to wear anything she feels comfortable in. I don’t even need to see it, just anything that she would love to wear! Made my life a lot easier plus there are soooo many aspects of wedding planning , vendors, flowers, many other fine details that need the attention of the bride. What moms or MIL wears is the last thing in my mind atm lol
    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    The only thing you absolutely should dictate about the MOB/MOG dress is the level of formality. I do think it's totally fine to suggest a color or color family (or colors to avoid) and length, but their dresses do not need to match at all. The general rule is that the MOG dress should not upstage the MOB dress, and neither should wear white or upstage the bride.

    We planned our wedding colors to be shades of dusty pink for the bridesmaids and the men in navy, so I requested that they avoid anything that would clash (specifically red or orange) but otherwise let them choose because I wanted them to be comfortable. Both my mom and MIL preferred tea-length dresses, so that worked out.

    I picked out my mom's dress with her (a beautiful royal blue knee length sheath dress with tulip sleeves), which she wore for our Covid elopement, but she lost a lot of weight due to a health issue by the time our postponed wedding celebration rolled around. She showed up the day before our wedding with three dresses for me to pick from, and I realized she was probably close to my size, so I took one of my own dresses (a long sleeve plum colored knee length dress with jewel neckline) off the hanger in my closet and told her to try it on. She ended up liking it best and the higher neckline hid her mastectomy bra better than the other dresses she had that still fit, so wore that one.

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  • Marilyn
    Just Said Yes March 2022
    Marilyn ·
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    Makes sense! Thank you.
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  • Marilyn
    Just Said Yes March 2022
    Marilyn ·
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    Thanks! Your MIL looking like a fish had me dying! Hahaha. I’m glad they figured it out.
    • Reply
  • Marilyn
    Just Said Yes March 2022
    Marilyn ·
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    I like this. Thank you for the link!
    • Reply
  • Judith
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    In many families, there used
    to be a pechicking order for everything I hear it every 5-10 years. Dqughtter pisks WP colors, tells MOB who picks hér dress, who tells MOG who getr what is left. But for years MOG have have not 8 been second
    • Reply
  • Judith
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Sorry- MOB are adults who choose their clothes themselves with no assistance from brides unless they they the mother ask the bride.
    • Reply
  • Victoria
    Devoted June 2020
    Victoria ·
    • Flag
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    Follow-up: I told my SiL that I shared the story here. Apparently my MiL wore the fish dress to her anniversary date with her husband. Lol
    • Reply
  • Nichole
    Devoted September 2022
    Nichole ·
    • Flag
    I am letting them choose what they want to wear. The mother of the groom has this adorable purple dress she bought and it sounds like my mother will be getting a navy blue dress.
    • Reply
  • Alicia
    Savvy May 2022
    Alicia ·
    • Flag
    This thread is so helpful....my MIL keeps asking me what she should wear and I legit had no idea what to tell her. Once I pick my colors, I will give her a general idea of colors to avoid and ask that she not clash.
    • Reply

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