Mother of Bride Dress - help

You don't get to dictate your mother's attire. She's an adult who can dress herself.

View Quoted Comment Okay but when you Google Mother of the Bride dress etiquette, it definitely says other wise. My mom literally is trying to show off her goods at my wedding and it's going to distract from me on my big day.
If that's something you'd want, that's fine but I think it's a little disrespectful

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If someone is more concerned about your mother's back than you on your wedding day, your issue is with that person, not your mother.

View Quoted Comment That's cool if you dont care about proper etiquette but I do

At least your mom knows what type of dress she wants. My mom is procrastinating and doesn't want to look at dresses cause she says she's trying to lose weight...

I agree that your mom is an adult and should get to pick her own attire, but at the same time I do think the bride has a right to give direction, especially if she isn't capable of choosing something appropriate. My mom wanted me to pick her dress, but I told her I wanted to make sure she wore something she liked so she just sent me a pic of one she tried on and I said it was perfect. FMIL on the other hand wanted to wear this floor-length, skin tight, bejeweled bodice and strap, "light grey" almost WHITE dress to the wedding. Needless to say FH told her to pick something else or not come (she has a history of trying to make everything about herself and our wedding has not been the exception). I don't think you're overreacting, but I wouldn't go to war over this either, unless she's trying to come dressed as a hooker. I would suggest going shopping with her because you want to help her pick something and hopefully you can nudge her in a more modest direction.

Just let her wear what she feels comfortable in, why does it matter...?

View Quoted Comment My mom is always on that boat, but I am glad she does have an idea!

View Quoted Comment Yes! My mom literally makes everything about her. Including my sisters wedding and grandpas funeral 🙃 I have talked to her and I think she is okay with covering up more!

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Awesome, glad it's all working out! There's nothing wrong with her wearing something a little "sexy" if she's confident and just wants to show off her body a bit (if ya got it, flaunt it), but as mother of the bride I think she should know that it's a little different than attending a cocktail party lol

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It's so frustrating, the wedding is in less than 50 days away and I know she will have trouble finding a dress last minute. I sent an email with multiple dresses I found yesterday, and it's up to her to go to the store to try them on. She told me last night that she's self conscious about her mid area and that she needs to lose weight, but honestly she doesn't work out or eat any differently. And I know she doesn't eat differently cause I told her to stop eating sugar, and when she came to visit over Christmas she ate all the sugar cookies we baked within a day...

Sorry, venting here. It's been an issue these last couple of days...

Have the conversation with your mom - you know her best. And btw, I don’t blame you for wanting her to dress appropriately. I personally don’t think a baby doll dress is appropriate for the MOB. But I’m old, so that’s just me
Wishing you the best day ever!

Contrary to others, I am telling my mom what colors I'd prefer she wear (along with other family members) and I hope to go shopping with her. My mom has a habit of making things about her as well. When I said I wanted to try on wedding dresses her immediate response was "well I never got to do that, I want to try on a few too!" (thankfully she did not!)

Maybe nicely say you don't love that choice and go shopping with her to find something you guys can compromise on.

Maybe give her a shawl or cover that matches the dress that she can wear during the ceremony and then let her show off her back during the reception?

I've been to plenty of very formal or black tie weddings, and the mothers have been in a ton of different dresses (no sleeves, low cut, pant suits, high neck, etc.). I think as long as the dress fits how formal the wedding is, it's fine. Even if the dress isn't your favorite, no one honestly notices the mothers or bridesmaids for more than a few seconds. All the focus is on the bride! You could always gift her a shawl or sweater to wear as a "hint" but still make it optional if she actually wants to wear it.

View Quoted Comment I’m glad she’s ok with covering up more! I agree that she’s an adult who can dress herself, but it sounds like she was (either consciously or subconsciously) trying to be the center of attention, which is NOT ok at her daughter’s wedding. I’m relieved for you!! That was probably stressful - your wedding should be YOUR day!! And it sounds like you’re doing everything right