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Beginner February 2020

Mother not supportive of wedding

Marlena, on July 5, 2019 at 4:10 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5

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So I always knew my mom had a hard time accepting that I was not getting married in a Catholic church. (We are getting married in a non denominational church)
At first it was very rough and she said she didnt want to throw a bridal shower and that she did not feel like she could come to the wedding. This was months ago, and I thought she came around, but now when I pitched to her about walking down the aisle, she told me she can't, that she doesnt support the wedding and that it feels wrong. All because it's not in a Catholic church.

I broke down crying and I just don't know what to do. My father passed so she is the closest to me family-wise, and we are so close. The thought of her not supporting me is just devastating, and takes away a lot of wedding excitement.

I'm not sure how to navigate this. Try to convince her? Wait? Talk to other family? Let it go?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on July 5, 2019 at 8:33 PM

Master September 2019
Sarah · on July 5, 2019 at 4:15 PM
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I’m sorry you’re experiencing this kind of negativity from your mom. You still have some time so I’d let it go for now. When you do eventually bring it up, I wouldn’t come at her trying to convince her to approve. Instead I’d just talk to her about how important it is to you that she’s there in support of you and your marriage. You could talk to other family members but I’d be careful how you bring it up. I don’t know your family, but in my experience things like this can blow up instead of blow over when other family members get involved.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on July 5, 2019 at 4:15 PM
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I'm sorry that you're in this situation. I really don't think that there is any convincing her, and I don't think that's something that you should have to do. She should be happy that her daughter found her soulmate and is vowing to spend her life with that person, even if that ceremony doesn't look the way she thinks it should. I would just give her space and time and hope that she comes around, if not, it's really her loss and something that she will probably regret for the rest of her life.
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Savvy March 2020
Cj Wallace · on July 5, 2019 at 5:00 PM
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It sounds like she's manipulating you to get what she wants. She needs to put all her feelings aside for the day and do what you ask. I'd suggest you let her know regardless you and your FH are going to do what you want for your wedding. If she chooses not to walk with you, select a close family member r friend in her place and have then sit next to her in the front row. DON'T LET HER STOP YOUR SHINE OR RUIN YOUR DAY!!!
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Devoted October 2019
Jacquie · on July 5, 2019 at 7:01 PM
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My fiancee's mother is not supportive of the wedding and it kills me because of how hurt she is and I am powerless in the situation...
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Super October 2020
Jennifer · on July 5, 2019 at 8:33 PM
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. I agree with PP that said it sounds like she is manipulating you to get what she wants. Hopefully she comes around to the idea of it as your wedding day gets closer. I feel like if you are truly that close, she should want to be there regardless. Once she realizes there is no changing your mind, I feel like she will come to accept it.
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