Mother not attending wedding!!

You said you don't value anyones opinion. If that is the case than why are you asking for OUR opinions on here?

Tamara I think she meant she doesnt value her mother's opinion of her FH. from my understanding anyways

Oh i was gonna say lol...Thanks for clearing that up Abiti

Sorry you are having to experience this. You only get one mom (mine is deceased). Please try to work it out. Pray & ask God for guidance......He always has the answer.

I have experienced a similar issue where I am not sure if my dad is not coming to my wedding (he initially told me he wasn't going to the wedding before I postpone it for financial reasons) and a lot of my dad's family doesn't like him either (long story). What I have learned is that at the end of the day, it's your decision of who you wish to marry and who you want to be with. It would be nice for her to come, but if she feels that strongly and she is not changing her mind about it, leave her be. You would rather have people there who support you than those who aren't.

If you're sure about your decision, and you're sure your objecting family members do not have a point that you need to consider further, then you just have to accept that you can't control how they feel or whether they will attend. Sometimes people in relationships are blind to problems that those outside the relationship see as clearly as day, which is why it's been suggested that you think about what they are saying and be sure you know their concerns are unfounded. If you think they may have a point, then perhaps you shouldn't rush into the marriage until those issues are worked out and you are sure that marrying this guy is the right thing. However, in the end, you (and your child) are the ones who have to live with the commitment you make, so your decision is the only one that matters.

@Tamara I read that at first too i was like say waahhh lolll..

ps i wish there was a like button!

I think they both are wrong...your mom is wrong because she needs to let you make your own deciosions and should always support what you want and he is wrong for being disrespectful to your mom. If he disrespects your mom like that imagine how he would talk to you. Also it your mom should mind her business too because im pretty sure she may have said something to push his buttons. Now if when you two were going through hard times and he put his hands on you thats a completely different story but I hope thats not the case. Try to have a small lunch or something and tell them both together how you feel and have them apologize to each other

Well said J&R!

I have to echo what Patricia said. We lost FH's mom suddenly last year. I know he would give anything to even hear her voice on the phone again. Life is short.

In my mind there are two issues here: your mom's acceptance of your marriage/FH, and your relationship with your mom. Whether your mom's opinion is right or wrong, you might never be able to change it. But you might be able to salvage your relationship with your mom.

You can set boundaries with her that you won't listen to negative comments about your wedding and FH. But you also can stop trying to convince her otherwise. If you both drop it, maybe the two of you can resolve your relationship.

If things are truly good between you and FH, she's going to see over time that you're happy, and she may change her tune. It might not happen by your wedding, or ever. But IMO it's worth a try. Sounds like your sister and stepdad would change their tunes if your mom does.

Good luck.

Honestly, you are 21 with a kid. You are already pushing yourself to grow up too fast. I would not get married until you are 25. In that time, your mother will come around if he is a good man.

My situation didn't involve so many members of my family, but we did have a family "feud" when we first got engaged four years ago. Because of that feud we called off our wedding and just stayed engaged. It is different from your situation because it wasn't my mother, but since you are asking for opinions I will recommend you wait. I can't imagine what the day would have been like without that entire side of the family there. It would not have been so special or joyful. It would have felt incomplete. And to be honest...we needed to work on some stuff anyway. If you feel like you can, and you are only 21 so in my opinion you can, you should wait. Maybe this is God's way of telling you that it isn't the right time right now.

I wish my parents had told me what they thought of my ex wife when I was 21, would have saved me from 5 miserable years.

If you have to ask perfect strangers if you should marry someone the answer is a resounding NO. (And a grow up).

@ Tamara if you would read everything clearly I was referring to the people that's in this situations ( like my mom sister and step father)

@Analy Clearly I'm not asking any of you if I should get married because no one can answer that buy myself. I'm simlply asking if you were in my shoes what would you do

@Future Ms Watson....That's exactly I how I feel, They both we're wrong and both need to admit it to each other without fussing and fighting! And I think that's what my mom thinks in the back of her head that he's gotten physical but he hasn't ( Never has) he always take off on a walk or go smoke a cigarette come back and try and finish our conversation! But that's every mothers worry.

@Pumpkin Sunshine I'm not pushing to myself to grow up fast, I don't see how you pulled that from anything that I've said! But Thanks for you input

Thanks everyone that has posted, I left my FH read some of these and he's agreed that he wants to sit down with my mom and talk about where everything went wrong and address some of their obvious issues.

I really appreciate the positive comments on how to fix this mess and who really understood what I was asking!!

Sorry to hear that, but stay strong, I guess we all have family drama, But it's your day, your an adult and know what your doing, Plus he is the father of your child, sometimes parent's want to choose for us, but they have to understand, we're grown ups, and no matter what they should stand by your side, and give you their support. At the end of the day, who will sleep with you at night, support you and be your partner will be your husband. And even if he messed up on saying rude things to her, at least he has tried to apologyze and keep the peace between them. Just stay positive, and enjoy ur day, you can't always be pleasing other people.. Good luck, =D

Thank you soooooo much Mrs Ortiz....geez you get it!!!

Sorry to hear that. I am also going through a very similar situation. Me and my FH met when I was a senior in high school we were dating and shortly after that I got pregnant with our 1st daughter. My mom and FH had exchange of words and because of it she said I couldnt have anything to do with him She wouldnt even let me call him the day I went into labor. Me and her fought EVERYDAY it was a you live in my house so you will obey my rules relationship. Long story short FH wants to settle this bad blood but my mom won't allow it. Most of my mom's side of the family has taken her side and I use to go back home for the holidays but because they don't want FH on their property i just call and wish them good. It's a sad situation and ppl need to learn to forgive and move on. I love FH and he has grown so much these past 5 yrs and wish my fam could see that. but im gonna send them all invites and i will leave it up to them whether or not they come

That brought tears to my eyes....It sounds like our moms are the same way! With the help of our pastor my FH and I have both grown as well, We spend the holidays with his family and I got spend a couple of hours with mine and with everything that's happened his mother and father welcome me with open arms. They were their once I went into labor up until I had my son and even after we came home they stayed a couple of nights helping us get settled.

Im still sending Save The Dates and Invites to EVERYONE if they choose to come they will have a place. Thank you for sharing

Srry to hear that u r going through this with your mom but if he who make u happy u must follow your heart yes u only get one mother and I wish so bad that my mom could've meet my FH but I know how u feel because my mom was a hott mess also lol she couldn't stand my daughter father and he never disrespected her lol, but u must stand your ground b/c if not u will never be happy my mom also thought that no one was gd for me either just keep your head and keep putting GOD first and pray that she come around round she is praying that u break it off with him pray that she come around. I wish u and FH the best and many blessing. Oh yea maybe u should invite her to dinner somewhere in a public place let her order and u order food as if it for u and then txt FH and he come in and sit down and u leave and then she wouldn't have an choose but to talk it may work it may not.