Mother is stressing me out

Whose paying for the wedding?

Sorry, sounds like a momzilla.

Is she paying for everything?

Also the point of a shower is to bring gifts..what kind of shower do you have without gifts?

If your mom is paying: You suck it up and deal. Who pays, says.

If you're paying for your wedding: Stop, drop, cancel, restart and don't involve her in anything moving forward. Or it you can't cancel and restart, just stop talking to her about it at all.

I think you're a little passed the point of doing anything. The invites are out and all vendors should already be booked.

The day isn't about her, but you allowed her to make it be about her.

Is she paying?

If she is paying she should get some say. If she isn't paying stop taking her opinions or phone calls. Tell her you only want her to show up the day of and she is causing more issues. I would just talk to her and put her in her place.

If she is paying, you have no say. If you are paying, you need to develop a backbone! Its too late for your wedding, but you need to learn "that won't be possible."

Is she paying for the wedding? If so, then there isn't much you can do. If she is not, she is going to need to fix her invite situation herself and then you need to stop letting her offer her opinions.

I hate the idea of whoever pays has full control. FH and I are paying for our own and even thought we are getting "gifted" money we don't want to use it towards the wedding we want it to go towards house down payment. But even that make them think they can have control. It's very frustrating and I'm thankful for the generosity but I'd rather everyone keep money to themselves and let us have what we want

I agree with others that if she's paying then this just comes with the territory.

But even if she's not, I kind of think it's too far now. The controlling mother ship has sailed. You needed to nip this in the bud way earlier in wedding planning. Now, all you can do is stop talking wedding stuff with her. Every time she brings it up just change the subject and refuse to talk about it. If she hates something you love, just say "Well I like it. So did you see that it's supposed to rain tomorrow?" And repeat.

You can't control what other people do. You can only control your reactions.

ETA: Beachbride, you were free to refuse the gift. Sorry, but if someone is paying for something - anything - they get a say in how that money is used. If you didn't like that, then you could have said "thanks but no thanks."

Wait she invited 300 people and you're paying? Or did she give you the money for all those extra people?? If thats the case use it for her guest then continue to pay for the wedding you want. You really need to sit down with your mom and let her know how you feel. My mom is a super control freak and I had to sit her down early on and talk to her about MY vision for MY wedding so that she wouldnt take control. She didn't like it but she eventually met me half way. Compromise is a great thing when two people have a mature conversation about their feelings. Try talking to your mom about how overwhelmed you are and how she is adding on stress you don't need. It's a hard convo to start but it will definitely be worth it. Good luck!

She is paying for some of it but I am shelling out a good portion as well. I'm not very picky in general and am really trying to be easy going. It is more the emotional blackmailing and stress that is killing me. I will try to take a deep breath and talk to her. Thanks for the suggestions!