Mother-in-law Wants to Invite Her Friends To The Wedding

If you are paying for a majority of it, then I really don't see why she should invite people if you don't know them. If SHE was paying for it, then different story.
What we did was ask the MIL and my parents who from the family they wanted because ours is only 50 people and both have HUGE Hispanic families so we needed to pick only a few aunts/uncles in addition to our close friends and parents/siblings.
His dad mentioned 2 of his sisters, his mom mentioned one of her brothers (his family is 5 people in it). My parents mentioned no one because they know our budget and didn't want to add any stress to our wedding.
People get excited but fail to realize the financial aspect behind it all.

It really just depends on who is paying and how you chose to divide the guest list. My parents are inviting about 14 people (7 couples) and my in laws are inviting 20 people (10 couples). Our wedding is about 220 people. However, the only friends that were invited were friends FH and I know.

If you/your FH know them personally- he grew up with them etc. then I would be more inclined to say yes. If they are moms friends that you have never really met then I would kindly explain why not to her. My parents have a lot of close friends that are like family to me. Me and my FW see them all the time when we visit and they show up for holidays, vacations, parties etc. Leaving them out would be like leaving out a family member. With that being said- my parents friends that I do not know will not be getting an invite. Its not personal- it is just about you and your partner and its not the time or place to meet new people.

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Just saw this comment. 40 is so small that you can definitely say no. Even 4 people would be 10% of the guest list!

It is customary, though not required, to let parents invite from 2 couples to a tableful of their friends, whom you are acquainted with but may not really know. You will spend most of your wedding greeting other people, or with your peers, or dancing. Let her be proud of you and have friends who will talk and dance with each other and others of their generation . Unless you plan to stay with Mom as company for 3-4 hours of the re option? No?

I didn't invite any friends of my parents. They knew I wanted to keep it small and intimate and they respected that. I would just tell her you were really trying to keep it intimate and ask who she wanted to invite. That way you can find a happy medium maybe.

We explained to both of our parents that we want an intimate wedding with 80-100 guests max. (but we are honestly hoping for 60-80) and that includes our closest friends and family only. We paid for 90 % of the wedding ourselves and my parents ended up paying for catering and the DJ. The guest count doesn't bother them because as I said, our closest friends and family are invited. His mom wanted to invite 20-30 friends and we had to say no. We explained that we wouldn't feel comfortable and are still frustrated that she is so upset because she doesn't want to help with anything but wants us to cater to her.

2-4 friends to an intimate wedding you are paying for is fair girl!

If you have the wiggle room I would offer her two or four spots. I read all the "But I don't know these people" but you will be so busy you won't notice. If it is just 20 people coming, that would be weird.

As a possible mother of the groom in the future, I do find it VERY odd to think you can bring your friends to someone else's wedding.

We would only have asked that 3 friends were invited because our sons have grown up knowing them almost their whole lives. But we didn't have to ask, they were already on the guest list.

I don't think it's ever appropriate to ask someone be invited if the bride and groom don't know them well and wouldn't choose to invite them on their own.