Mother in Law Mess

Don't respond. Ignore her and live out whatever dreams you have for YOUR big day! Good luck and try to enjoy the process

A lot of this sounds like a FH problem...HE didn't want to elope and HE invited his friends and broke the rules, which wound up making you look "weird" to your FMIL.

She's clearly getting mixed signals...though I will never understand the mentality of parents wanting to invite their friends to their kid's wedding.

"Thank you for your advice, but I love my dress as it is"

Your FH needs to be the one dealing with this. If she's trash talking you behind your back via rude texts calling you weird, and saying you should have eloped, he should be the one defending you.

"Thank you for your advice. I will take it into consideration."

And then don't send her a picture of your dress lol. If she's not giving any money towards your wedding, she doesn't have a say. Sounds like another FMIL whose trying to be dominant.

Is she different now that you're engaged? A lot of this sounds like behavior that would have been obvious form the get go.

Also, stop telling her things.

She never was anything close to this when we were only dating. She was really really sweet, she even always bought me random things she thought I would like.

And I don't know how-to stop telling her things. I wasn't going to text her back about my dress but my fiance kept pressuring me "did you text my mom back yet?" I keep trying to make him understand but its his mom, so nothing I say works.

I don't think this is really an issue with your FMIL. Sounds like your FH has issues with setting boundaries. Your FH let his mom dictate whether he eloped. He is a grown man; if he wants to elope, he shouldn't let his mom's opinion stop him (if he actually doesn't want o elope and is using his mom as an excuse instead of being honest with you, that's another issue in and of itself). He should be setting boundaries for the guest list with his mother. He should be setting boundaries when it comes to your personal life. The comment about the birthing room is inappropriate and he should have said so.

Also sounds like you and FH aren't on the same page with your wedding if he "got confused" and invited his friends.

It's an FH problem. Which of you has his basic loyalty and concern?

This isn't a mother-in-law problem. This is a problem between you and your FH because you two are on two different pages. You want to elope, he says no. You want only family, he invites friends. No wonder your FMIL is confused. I'm not saying that your FH is in the wrong either. It's his wedding too. You two need to be on the same page though before you have any hopes of conveying a solidarity message to the in-laws.

Honestly, this is a red flag, IMO, and suggests you and your FH need help communicating before getting married.

I wouldn't talk as much. Make it a as needed interactions.

None of those things sound rude to me. The problems seem to be with your fiance.

You need to work with your FI in counselling on boundaries with your FMIL. This is not going away after the wedding.

I would sit down & have a conversation with FH & FMIL, my FMIL isn't super excited about me marrying her son, she's never been fond of me. Like some others have said, the issues you're having with still be there after the wedding I'd talk it out beforehand & see if you can't resolve some of them.

I'm sorry to say that this will only get worse after the wedding if you don't get it fixed now. It sounds a lot like my exH and his mom. We were married 11 years and he never once said a thing to his mom, no matter what she did. I think you need to talk with him, get on the same page and always, always present as a unit to anyone outside your marriage, especially parents. Some just don't know how to let go. It will make marriage very hard if he's always putting his mom before his wife.