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Just Said Yes October 2020

Mother-in-law duties!

Cassidy, on October 27, 2019 at 5:24 PM Posted in Planning 0 4

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Hi, everyone!

My fiance and I are getting married in October of 2020. We really haven't planned a whole lot due to moving and starting new careers. So far, we have the church, reception hall, bridal party, and photographer. We have a few other little details planned, but not much.

My mother, and my future mother in law, keep asking me what they can do to help. I really appreciate that they are willing to help, but I am not sure what to give them. I want them to feel included, but I am also someone who LOVES to plan things. I feel a little selfish for not wanting to give things up. What are some things I can have them do?

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Latest activity by Rebecca, on October 30, 2019 at 2:50 AM

Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on October 27, 2019 at 5:40 PM
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Maybe they can help with some diy decor or the rehearsal dinner. You can also say that’s so sweet, we’ve got everything covered, thanks!
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Expert November 2020
Shelby · on October 27, 2019 at 7:27 PM
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I agree about helping with diy decor pieces and rehearsal dinner. Maybe they can plan your bridal shower together instead of your bridesmaids.
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Super October 2021
Nicole · on October 29, 2019 at 10:13 PM
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That's so nice they want to help! I'm similar though and don't want to delegate tasks. They can help with rehearsal dinner as well as giving you ideas for decor. Also, have them gather the family addresses.
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on October 30, 2019 at 2:50 AM
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As other people said, start with addresses. If they come through with those, go from there.
My in-laws also really wanted to help, but I had already done the research, so a lot of the stuff they tried to help with felt redundant and counterproductive. HOWEVER, we redirected that help into viewing venues with us, which really helped us focus and sort through what we wanted (also, the first venue we saw on a day I had to attend the funeral of a coworker, so having them there was a life-saver - I couldn't think straight!).
If your FILs really want to do something, see if they want to do the rehearsal dinner (that is traditional, but not mandatory, that the groom's family does it). MIL offered to take care of ours, and we were so grateful, we honestly just gave her the date, time, and number of guests. She and FIL nailed it. (They also love to host parties, so it was right up their alley.)

You may love planning, but there are so many little things, you'd be surprised at what you can find for them to do - sometimes it may be as simple as, "could you pick this up/store this thing/proofread it?"
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