Mother in law and my wedding dress

If she brings it up in person, just tell her you'r not comfortable showing off your dress because you want to keep it a surprise for everyone on the big day.

I agree with PP, just tell her it’s a surprise.

You are definitely not being rude. Its not something anyone is entitled to, you will show who you are comfortable showing when you're ready, and if that's not until they see you coming down the isle, that's when it is. If she continues to push FH, he may need to just put his foot down and tell her that he will not push you into doing something you wouldn't do on your own as he wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable like that, as he respects your wishes and comforts like a good spouse should. He doesn't have to be mean, but he will have to be firm if he wants her to stop pressing him to pressure you into it

You’re not being rude. This is what I’d do: tell her you don’t have it and it’s at the seamstress for alterations, but that you’re happy to show her a picture of it on the model (can’t show her a picture of it on you because the salon didn’t allow photos). Find the wedding dress you know she’ll hate the most (maybe something virtually see-through? Or totally, totally non-traditional?) and show her that picture, then watch her face.

If she brings it up when you are around you could tell her you don't have any photos of it so FH won't see and give her a brief overview of it verbally, ie strapless mermaid or something generic.

I personally really want to maintain a good relationship with my FMIL, so I'd probably show her photos if she asked, or at least tell her about the dress.

FMIL is being super pushy and I can see why you're annoyed! As PPs said, if she bugs you again tell her you want the dress to be a surprise

I totally understand where you’re coming from and I agree with PPs in telling her you want it to be a surprise. I didn’t bring my FMIL dress shopping because of that.

Can you show her a picture of it aha

Or one like it but not exactly like it aha cus that's what I did when ppl asked

I would tell her that you want to keep it a surprise. Maybe you can tell her something about the dress so that way she doesn’t feel excluded.

Consider that she might just be feeling left out and wants you to want to share your excitement with her (ie it may not even be about wanting to see the dress but she could want you to *want* to show her), if you know what I mean. You don’t have to show her or anyone if you don’t want to be showing people. But you could show pics, you could just talk to her about it (mention you’re keeping it a surprise, maybe let some small detail slip), just say you want it to be a surprise for everyone on the day of but you can’t wait for her to see , etc etc. I don’t think anyone is being rude here, and it’s fine not to want to share it, but it’s worth mentioning to her so she knows you’re thinking of her. Seems like she could just be excited and wants to see but also really doesn’t want to pressure you (hence talking to FH): personally my MIL didn’t want to overstep anywhere, but she also didn’t have daughters, so she was super excited about everything — I showed her right away (bc I wanted to), but I know it meant a lot to her. Say you want it to be a surprise to everyone. Or maybe show her a small picture of some random detail so she has a little something, whatever you want. But, just an alternative perspective regarding what her side may be.

It's not rude many bride's want a surprise. Maybe she feels left out and you can find something else for her to do

View Quoted Comment I agree 100% with this! It's her son's wedding too and I'm sure she's as excited as your mom is. The MOG 's are often left out of the planning. You don't have to show her but maybe tell her a little about it. Even if she does tell FH about it, if hes anything like mine, he won't remember by the time the wedding comes lol

Honestly, if she can’t personally ask you, I see no reason why you should go to her with your dress. Now if she personally asks you, and you don’t want to show her, just tell her you don’t have a photo of it and you want it to be a surprise for everyone.

From experience with a mother in law who is similar if you feel like she will show others tell her no. Nicely, obviously. Tell her you're putting so much work into your wedding and you want everyone to take in in on that day. You can even say you're not showing others if that makes her feel better..

I’m not showing anyone eitger. Don’t feel guilty— that’s just how you want it.