Guest lists and RSVPS were the most stressful part of planning. FH & I come from asian families that tend to have 200+ of family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, AND parents' random family, friends, acquaintances, and co-workers, etc.. We wanted it to be mostly close family with few friends. Of course, we had to send an invitation to family friends (per parents' request) as a formality. We wanted 150 people & had envisioned the people (we wanted) going. My FH's extended family are great with events - his grandmother has 3 sisters living in different parts of the west coast - those sisters have their own branches of families. We've gone to their events & they've come to local ones, as well. Of course, we didn't expect everyone to come but at least one branch that we were close to. NONE of them are coming. We understand but at the same time, it's sad & we're a bit hurt. They said they would make it up to us by taking us out but I feel like it's more than just, "oh we'll see them next year if they visit." It's an event. On top of that, FH & I have been together over 5 years & EVERYONE has been bugging us about when we'll get married.
I got engaged last Christmas. We told everyone we wanted to invite & that we were aiming for late summer. I got the venue finalized within a month of being engaged & send "save the dates" (which gave everyone 8 months). Of course, everyone was exciting and sending in verbal unofficial RSVPs and you try not to believe too much so you won't get disappointed. Now it's weeks before and more than half have not responded or declined. I am appreciative when they say things like they'll make it up to us but it's an event, it's not just "let's see each other & hang out." I also more than understand that people have their own lives, families, plans, emergencies, new jobs... I totally get it. The wedding day is important to me & my FH and that's it. I don't expect people to give it as much importance as us. At the same time, the people or family members who you think you're close to are not (and that's just based on their decline message). Some do feel bad & some are so casual about it, like no big deal.
When I found out my closest cousin was engaged, I bugged her about the date and planned it out just to make sure I would be there. Like I said, not everyone would do this for us but it's just a reminder how little you mean to people who act like you mean a lot to them.
Okay, time to stop acting like a baby. I just would rather have the declines than have it drag on or with no answer at all.
