More Sister Drama

Regardless of background, gifts for weddings are completely optional. And should be completely unexpected if someone didnt even attend said wedding.


Don't you dare indulge this.

Yes, don't you dare give her more than a card unless you want to out of the goodness of your heart. Gifts are optional, especially if no one was even invited or told. She sounds toxic, and I wouldn't indulge her behavior.

View Quoted Comment I don't really feel the need to even give her a card. She has been awful to everyone. Even prior to all of this happening, she was very difficult to deal with. She was a nightmare to deal with my wedding. She was supposed to be maid of honor in my brother's wedding, but backed out and I took over because she couldn't be bothered. A week before my wedding she almost dropped out because she didn't like her bridesmaids dress. In order to prevent problems, I went and bought her a new dress. The new dress wasn't on sale so I paid like $220 on it then overnighted it for another $30. Plus I bought her gifts for being in my wedding. She didn't even get me a card as a wedding present and was in my wedding.

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Yeah, don't give her anything. She clearly doesn't respect anyone but herself, so she can enjoy the most important person on her life: her. Just be glad you weren't dragged through a giant mess of a wedding where she probably would have been a demon.

View Quoted Comment Oh I am so glad. I could only imagine what she would have been like.

View Quoted Comment Beware the possible "vow renewal" where she might rear her head again. Honestly, she sounds like a horrible sister, and I would distance yourself as much as you can.

Well you could be the nice older sister and give her a card once she decides to actually come to you and tell you that she got married. I agree with the other people and considering the fact that you found out via Facebook is a bit of a slap in the face. Yes you knew she was going to get married but not like that. Plus I think it is a bit rude of her to tell people that we're ready for gifts now. Even if you have a birthday party or a wedding of course you expect people to give you gifts but you also need to expect that they don't because at the end of the day like other set gifts are optional and you should feel very lucky if you do get any. Considering that you didn't even get a card I wouldn't even acknowledge the wedding. I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

View Quoted Comment Oh gosh! I hope she doesn't have a vow renewal. We honestly don't think the marriage will last. She has only been with the guy for 11 months. During that time, she has threatened to break up with him numerous times. Has even kicked him out of their apartment. She went to a bar and was grinding on some other guy right in front of her husband because she got jealous some other girl talked to him. Plus she's still only 21 which is pretty young to get married.

View Quoted Comment Oh we found out via Facebook as well she was getting married. They got engaged the day before Thanksgiving and married this past Friday so it wasn't a long engagement. I don't know how nice I am feeling after the way she has talk and about us.

View Quoted Comment It kind of sounds like she got married for the gifts expecting a cash haul from relatives that mean well, especially with her drug problems. Kind of yikes. She clearly barreled into this and might regret it as soon as the dust settles and the cash is spent - that's why I said beware a vow renewal or a "reception" if she thinks she might be able to garner cash that way.

View Quoted Comment I'm sorry to say this but I'm a firm believer because I experienced this in my own family that family is not blood. So you definitely do not have to accommodate someone that does not act like family. I think she expects way too much and you are right that is a very short engagement so hopefully that marriage last. I feel like you have your own life to focus on and worry about and with the holidays coming up just let it go. And if she even dares to come at you for gifts or whatever just kindly tell her that you'll gladly give her a gift when she has an official wedding and that you don't find out about it via social media.

View Quoted Comment Prior to the wedding, she came to me wanting Christmas gifts. If she wasn't acting the way she is then I wouldn't have a problem giving her a gift, but because she has been terribly nasty I don't really feel the need to give her anything.

View Quoted Comment And you really should not. Regardless if it's Christmas, a birthday, a wedding I don't feel that it's right for people to ask for gifts. You either get a gift or you don't and should be appreciative either way. On my birthday sometimes friends haven't even given me a card and it is what it is. You definitely are in no way shape or form obligated to give her a gift. I am pretty sure at your wedding not everyone there gave you a gift.

View Quoted Comment She has been trying to get cash from relatives for a while. First she wanted my parents to hand over cash for closing on a house. They said they would bring money to close, but that didn't work for her. Then she wanted cash for college after already dropping out once so my parents said no. Not to any of our surprise she dropped out a second time. She has has for gas money and food and my parents have offered to go with her to get gas and food and she turns it down. She has a very good paying job as a nurse, but says she has no money. She makes more money than me and lives in a cheaper town and her bills are much cheaper than mine so we have no clue where her money is going.

View Quoted Comment You are correct that not everyone gave us a gift which was totally fine. I certainly didn't call or text them to demand a gift. That's rude and selfish.

Don't do or say anything, it's not even worth it. It's so sad cause it's your sister, but honestly every time she does something she's only thinking about herself. Not worth your time anymore!

View Quoted Comment You can't help how others act so you have every right to be upset but tomorrow just kick it out of your mind. Tomorrow is a new day and enjoy happy times with the people that genuinely care about you and your life.

View Quoted Comment It just really sucks that she has to act this way. I went and bought her a brand new dress a week before my wedding because she was uncomfortable in her bridesmaids dress and was refusing to wear it, but I didn't have to do that and I don't think most brides would that close to their wedding, but I wanted to make her happy. I feel like our relationship is completely one sided. It's like she only keeps people in her life that she can benefit from which is really hurtful. She wouldn't even give her maid of honor toast at my wedding, but when my brother found out he kindly offered to since he likes doing those kind of things. I think he also need it was hurtful to me that she refused. She told my mom she didn't even really want to be maid of honor, but was because she felt like she had to. At that point, I wish I would have told her she didn't have to be since she clearly didn't want to. She also disappeared for most of my reception with her husband and my husband's cousin who is a drug addict so I can only imagine what they were doing. She has just caused so much hurt, but she acts like we just have to pretend she hasn't.

View Quoted Comment This is honestly the first time I've really let it get to me. I know with her not to really expect much. It's just disheartening how she acts.

View Quoted Comment I understand how you feel but some do not think of others. Sadly she's pushing her family away.