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More of the Bride's Family then the Groom's Family

Rosemarie, on August 3, 2021 at 12:07 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 10
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I am the mother of the groom. The groom's family lives out of town and very few...and my worst fear is none ...of the out of town family will make it to the wedding. How do I help my son get over this hurt and appreciate the beautiful day of the wedding? I know this situation feels lonely.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Janae, on August 3, 2021 at 7:32 PM
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    I don't see why living 'out of town' would prevent anyone from attending a wedding unless there is more at play here in respect of family dynamics, or if by 'out of town' you mean quite some distance away.

    Can you perhaps elaborate more on the specific details?

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  • R
    Rosemarie ·
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    Yes, quite a distance away. We are in GA and family is in Boston area.

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  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    I wouldn't worry about this. I'm your son in this situation. My family is large but lives almost exclusively on the other side of the world. Even if covid wasn't a thing, in all likelihood they would not come - too expensive, too far, etc.

    So, my fiance has about 80-odd immediate family coming. I have 20 friends AND family! the remaining guests are made up of mutual friends of ours.

    But... there's no shame in having a smaller family. If it bothers you (or him) you could always make a joke about it in a speech - 'although our immediate family is small, we are close/mighty!' or 'we are glad to see so many of bride's family here today. With our own family so far away and unable to attend, we are excited to steal some of yours!' or similar.

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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    The only blood relative I had at our wedding was my father.

    We didn't invite his family (we are ... not close), and my mother's family decided that the invitations were insulting and didn't come. Only some of DH's family was able to come, because of work/distance/health.

    Your son isn't alone... and, really, if the people he is closet to are there, he will be fine.

    Plus - the bride's family is becoming his family!

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  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    Do you actually know he feels lonely or are you assuming? He may not be nearly as bothered as you are by this. It sounds like *you* are upset and lonely that your family isn’t coming. Just be supportive and excited for your son - even if he is upset that’s all you can do.
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  • Ashlee
    Expert September 2022
    Ashlee ·
    • Flag

    Did he express his sadness over this or is it an assumption?

    I'm the "groom" in this scenario. My family lives over 1000 miles away and I know that a lot will not make it but I know that the day will still be one of the best days. I'm excited to celebrate with those who can make it and I know that others would be there if they could and it doesn't mean I won't feel their love even from afar.

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  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    First and foremost. Has your son told you he feels lonely or is that just what you expect?
    My husband’s family is much bigger than mine so he had more invitees than I did but I didn’t care at all. My mom, on the other hand, had a lot of concerns.
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  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
    • Flag

    That's the same with me and my FH. I have a huge family and he doesn't. His side consists of his parents, a family friend and friends. There would have been more for him but unfortunately, when we postponed, some could no longer make it. He has no issues because as long as he's still there around good people that he's close to, he's fine. Plus, he fits in really well with my family and they never make him feel lonely or not part of the family.

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    All of this. And also, I definitely understand being sad that certain people can't attend, and missing them, but worrying about "more bride side than groom side" in general doesn't really make sense. Everyone who attends is there to celebrate the couple as a whole. Don't miss the forest for the trees.

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  • Janae
    Dedicated September 2021
    Janae ·
    • Flag

    Can you combat this feeling by doing a separate celebration? My MIL felt the same so she is hosting an event a month after our wedding near where my FH family and friends live. It will be a post-wedding celebration with more of his family! We are excited

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