Money Stress

Our guest list keeps shrinking. It's helping with the financial stress of it all. We have a new rule, one in/one out. So if we add anyone, someone's got to go. We also cut out a lot of the extras, especially paper products. I'm a big DIYer, so that's helping save a penny here and there. I got paid today, and as of 9:13 pm my checking account has enough for groceries and gas the next two weeks. (That said, we do have a vacation in a couple of weeks so some of that went to savings for it). But I just have to tell myself all of this will pass, we will get back to normal in a few months and we will be married and will start making progress on things like student and auto loans. If nothing else it's taught us to live a little cheaper and how to save more than I thought we could before. Hang in there, it's only temporary

@MoreMoore thank you so much, your post made me feel better. I feel like living pay check to pay check is never going to end! I have enough for bills then I feel like I can only put a tiny amount back for the wedding if any because then I have food and gas to pay for. I might have to pick up a part time job on the weekends.

@Deanna don't worry I'm there with you. FH is talking about working a couple of days a week at a restaurant for some extra cash. It's not the perfect situation, but we are doing what we need to do that we can get by without a shit ton of new debt.

I'm kind of in the same boat. FH and I decided to have ceremony on a Sunday at an all inclusive venue. I didn't do paper Save the Dates (I made a cute little movie trailer on iMovie) I also pretty much work 7 days a week between 2 jobs to afford the wedding. I will say that this experience has definitely taught me to budget properly.

Try to do some DIY stuff. Centerpieces/bouquets anything that is easy to do and if you're on social media look for wedding resale pages. I know a lot of people who have gotten stuff off there that was barely used and cheap!

Also, sometimes renting things is cheaper than buying everything. We have a few shops around here that have wedding rental centerpieces and things like that. Would definitely look into it if you're on a strict budget.

DH & I paid for everything ourselves. We gave ourselves a 14 month engagement. I worked a second part time job. I was dedicated to my local FB yard sale wedding page. Make a priority list of must haves and then after that is done & paid for you can move to your Pinterest wedding of wants.

Cut costs on wedding dress sadly. If you can do your own make up. Open bar... make it Cash Only. Centerpieces by DYI. I'm using wine bottles (Free) just some spray paint and florals.

Have a realistic goal and outlook on how you want the wedding to be and how it fits into your long term financial goals.

Knowing the impact makes it easier so there is less uncertainty.

Getting used items from previous brides is a good thing to look at. My ceremony dress is used, the bride I bought it from never wore it because she gained weight! Try other centerpieces other than flowers: candles, books etc. I am doing every other table with flowers. That already has cut my floral costs.

Def look into another job if you have the time. If not, cut back on coffee or mani/ pedis that really add up monthly.

I would say to make sure you can host everyone you invite. Counting on a certain number of declines could instantly mess up your budget if more people rsvp yes than you expected. Prioritize what is the most important to you and allocate money that way. If you want a great photographer, maybe skimp on florals, etc. I find that planning ahead for things like meals and grocery shopping helps curb the "let's order a pizza" mentality and saves money. I've also been grabbing any extra hours I can at work and putting that aside. With student loans and NYC rent it isn't easy to make money appear, but even small adjustments in your personal life can have a big impact. Really think about what you can do without or what you can do yourself. Don't let people guilt you into paying extra for something you don't want. I knew someone who had an aunt pressuring her to hire a vendor out of her price range. She explained that it was out of her budget, but that the aunt was welcome to contribute if she felt so strongly about it. Magically it wasn't a big deal anymore. Go figure ha ha!

Did you book your venue already? I see you have a Saturday date. Saturday's are the MOST expensive day for a wedding, it's why I switched mine to a Friday, it saved me oodles of money that I was then able to put toward catering & booze.

DO NOT do a cash bar. No no no. That's not good advice @Amy N.

OP, just do beer and wine if that's all you can afford but never have your guests pull out their wallets at an event you're hosting.

Amy. No. No cash bar. YOur guests should not have to eat the cost of your wedding. If you can't afford everything, you can't afford that many guests.

Start a separate savings account specifically for wedding stuff and be strict about both putting money in and not taking it out except for wedding expenses. Otherwise it is easy to spend the money on other stuff. We put in a set amount every paycheck and then any extra money we get (tax refund, gifts, etc.). It sounds like you're pretty tied to venue and guest number, but did you book a specific time? You can save money by changing the time and doing a cake and punch afternoon reception versus dinner reception with bar. Also, you have lots of time to look for sales and deals on your wedding services and to put together DIY decorating.

Really you need a venue, food and drinks. You can really cut on everything else. Floral, decor, dj, dress, photographer those are all things that you find to work with in your budget. Maybe you'll go with lanterns instead of flower center pieces. I just found my florist, at first it was more then my budget. Once we started talking and changing the types of flowers I actually made it out of there with more for less then the original plan. Hint.... orchids can be expensive, lol. Good luck and take a deep breath

Our wedding venue is 15,000 for 150 people. Where are you located?

Im paying for the entire wedding. We chose a cruise wedding so that we could keep costs around 6k. I am losing things like choosing decorations and food but I knowi would have stressed to the max if i had them. I wanted it to be as stressfree as possible and it has helped

I hate to be the voice of reality here, but if you're really living paycheck to paycheck, blocking 15,000.00 for what is essentially a big party isn't the wisest move. Do you have an emergency fund? What happens if something happens?

And again, it comes down to guest list. Assuming 70 bucks per person? 15 less people and you have your floral budget. It's that easy.

But fundamentally, if your paychecks aren't supporting your lifestyle and debts, it's time to make a change; in spending, in income. Not just for a wedding, but for life.

One thing that helps is remembering everything isn't due all at once. Doesn't matter if you're spending 5K or 105K on your wedding, all the money isn't due tomorrow. Make payments to your vendors over time and don't go into crazy debt over it.

If you live paycheck to paycheck you can't afford this and you're going about it all wrong. A budget is not something you pluck out of thin air like "okay, this is what weddings cost." That's not a budget at all, just a desire to spend $15K you don't have and can't reasonably pull together in x amount of time.