Momzilla

My best suggestion is to stop sharing information with your mom. If she asks say _____ (fiance's name) and I have already decided on x. As for the food a lot of venues won't even allow food that isn't catered due to safety concerns. I would definitely avoid having her make food for this very reason. As for the dress unless she's buying it she doesn't get a say. If she's buying it then I would tell her you really love x dress and since it's out of her budget then you don't mind either paying the difference or covering the entire cost. Either way the best bet is really going to be limiting what information you share. I would especially avoid telling her costs or anything budget/money related.

I truly understand what you are saying so for me instead of my daughter who is my second MOH. She is the ones trying to take over telling ppl that she is in mire

Is your mother paying for the dress? If not, she doesn't get to tell you how much to spend.

I hired a wedding planner and told my mom not to worry about it and just come and look gorgeous. I did not plan on a wedding planner but when my mom started taking over I decided to hire someone to run point on everything.

Who is paying for the wedding? If she is, then unfortunately she gets to call the shots, since it's her money. I would highly advise against her making the food herself though, for numerous reasons.

The way to truly have the wedding that you want would be to decline any monetary support from her, and to stop sharing your plans with her.

If you're already paying for the wedding then put her on an "information diet". Give her only need to know information, and maybe ask for her involvement in projects that you're not emotionally invested in.

The problem with letting others pay for your big day is that they get a say in how it turns out. If you want to regain control, pay for it yourself if you can afford it. If you can't afford it, make a plan for something you can afford on your own.

I took my mom to second try my dress and order it. She felt in love with it, but almost had a heart attack when I told her how much was gonna cost. I kept trying to answer all her questions about costs with "is inside of the budget he (my fiancee) gave me" but that day she kept asking, so I told her. However, she forget things a lot, meaning she asked the same question a lot. I have to keep telling her "dont worry ma, is inside our budget" even if its not. 🤷🏻‍♀️ she ask me one day "be honest how much you guys are spending?" And I gave told her a vague answer "we havent pass our budget". I know is frustrating cause you want her to be part of every little detail, but I learned that the less you details like prices and stuff, you will be happier cause people wont have something to critizes. Not only with mom, but with everybody. Unless they are paying for something on your wedding they dont get to have a say. 🤷🏻‍♀️

View Quoted Comment My Fiancé and I have decided that we are going to have a long engagement and push the wedding so we can take on more of the costs and have the wedding that we want to have without running it by someone else.

View Quoted Comment Heyyy nothing wrong with that, we got engaged in 2014, being together since 2012. I posponed having a wedding for numerous reason (we were broke, school, having a kids) then life just kept going so we kept going, and accomplished all other stuff that were more important for us at given time. we didnt want to go eloped either cause we always dreamed to having a wedding and neither my culture or his culture are those that the parents pay for a wedding. We had our kids, finish our careers, bought a house, have no debts, stable job with only one income (since i dont work) like I said life kept going for us 😅🤣. And we are finally having our small intimate destination (not cheap) wedding in 8 months. We couldnt be happier cause it was what we always dreamed. Note: not everyone will be willing to do everything backwards like we did, and thats ok. But I just wanted to say that waiting and having a long engagement to secure some priotities first is ok too. Whatever make you guys happy, that the important thing.