Momzilla drama /vent

To thank everyone when I do the toast during the reception and she went off stated that she wasn't going to help with the wedding period .I have to make it fair both sets of parents and for the programs she was saying that she wanted to list my step dad , my dad , mom and leave my step mom out .This is really starting to be overwhelming and I wish had eloped then deal with drama from family but I don't want to live in regret of me not having a actual wedding

Sorry to vent like this but its to much going on around weddings but they did say they can bring the ugliness out of ppl

Are your parents helping to pay for your wedding? If so your mom should definitely get a say in certain things.

HOWEVER

Who you choose to walk you down the aisle, dance with, etc. should be 100% up to you. It sounds like both of your parents are making demands about how that should go, but it is your call.

It is hard to read your posts without punctuation and grammar.

Who is paying for your wedding?

Oh I posted before you continued. I think your mom is a bit out of line (your dad is too, for threatening to not come). I think you should have ALL parents listed in the program, and as for including your stepdad or stepmom in anything else, that is totally up to you and how you feel about your relationship with them. Be polite, but firm with your mother.

She is on 10.

I love that.

Yeah, bridal balls, get em.

I dont have any advice, but i am sorry. It sucks when adults cant act like adults for the sake of their children.

As nice as it is to have someone help plan your wedding I would try to leave your parents out of the planning process. Keep the details you give them to a minimum and plan what you think will work best for both sides. Hopefully they will come around and learn that everyone is important to you and that you are trying to include everyone.

Why on earth aren't you and your FH making these decisions yourself? Is she paying for the wedding/reception? If so, she gets a say in how things are done, especially guest list and hosting, but at the end of the day it should be your wedding.

If she's not paying for it, then just stop talking with her about the wedding. Most people plan their own weddings. If she asks, say "we're thinking about how to do xyz. We'll let you know." Time to cut the apron strings.

You need to look at her and say "This is my day not yours. He can do the prayer reading and my stepmom will be listed if we list parents" She can't make those decisions for you. When I was previously married I didn't have the strength to tell my mother to back off and it ended up being HER wedding how SHE wanted it with me playing the role of the bride. Right down to my dress and shoes. I don't want to see anyone go through something like I did again.

It seems like you mom is afraid your step dad will feel second to your biological dad.. she is making all these plans for you because she is trying to make it equal, but really it does sound like she is making it chaotic. Right now you may need to set her down and let her know that this is a day that is special to you, and that you love your stepdad but she needs to trust you to do it your way and just because your biological dad is doing the dad things, does not mean you love your step dad any less.

Having divorced parents like this is hard. I think it really comes down to what YOU want based on your relationships with them all. Are you and your step dad so close that you WANT him to participate in walking you down the aisle? I do think everyone should be listed in the programs. Your mom is being petty trying to exclude your step mom. Honor these parents the way you see fit based on your relationships

Thanks you guys for you feed back and sorry for my grammar I'm at work and I'm trying to do both . Me and my Fiancé are paying for the entire wedding. I've already told her threw text on how its going to be from now on .I just knew in the beginning that should would have enjoyed that and working with me to make this day great

Me and my step dad have a okay relationship ,he's more stern and has attitude about the smallest things that doesn't need a lot of attitude he's a great provider for my mom and my sister and me but he sucks as a step parent when it comes to the emotional side as a blended family its hard to describe but me and my dad we are close ,my fiancé even feels that my dad should walk me and it should be both sets up of parents on the programs

Part of adulting is learning to stand up to your parents. "Thanks for your opinion Mom,but FI and I have already made our decision."

Yeah don't let her dictate YOUR day if you do you'll resent her for it big time. FMIL tried to take over and I knew if we didn't shut that down quick I would resent her for the rest of my life and you would never want that. If you and FH husband are paying don't worry too much. I feel like all mom's have their momzilla moments too especially if they didn't have their wedding their way so they live vicariously through their daughters/sons.

I'm sorry you're going through this first off. And why don't you have both of them walk you down together? For your father daughter dance it's ultimately your choice on who you decide. I hope this helped. Hugs.

Thanks @Raina for the feed back I am in that mood like I've already told you mom how its going to go I'm not leaving a parent out of anything I'm treating everyone equally I even told her my step dad can meet me down the aisle to say who gives this woman away and she still wasn't satisfied so that's all I can do I try to accommodate you and you act a fool no mam !!! @Aubrey I tried that but my dad said that's not right it should only be him walking he's my father ,and he doesn't want that moment shared I guess and thanks for your feed back it truly means a lot to me

How old were you when your parents got divorced and how long has your stepdad been around? Like PP have all said, you and FH need to assert yourselves and major sure you're having the wedding YOU want.

Unless your stepdad has been in the picture. for the majority of your life I can't understand why your mom thinks he should have the dad role, but either way it's your decision.

I have similar frustrations with my family. Parents are divorced and both have conflicting expectations of how I will manage their feelings, preferences and pettiness. Lol. I'm not.

@FUTUREMRSD my parents got married young and divorced when I was 5 years old and my step dad and my mom have been married for 18 years .

@A Divorce parents are half worse and half good its mostly my mom she is doing the most like we've had events when there both in the same no problem but this wedding I try to hear both sides and treat them fairly