Mom’s getting married too!

It’s ok if your weddings are a year apart. There would be no conflicts as far as dates and people traveling 2 weekends in a row.

Yes, I don't really see the problem. Are you upset that your mom is getting married before you? I can't see how this is even an issue. You say your mom knew all your plans, as if she's done something wrong. But she clearly didn't try to steal your date, or even get married in the same year as you. It sounds like she listened to what you wanted for your wedding, and planned hers to be in a different year altogether! That's a wonderful thing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you both getting married in the Fall. They will be a whole year apart. No conflicts. No problem.

Correct me if I'm misunderstanding something here, but I just don't see a problem.

Oh my gosh, yes I can see how my initial post could appear extremely petty, I apologize for that.

I guess this whole thing dives in deeper into my mother’s and my relationship where my mom has an extremely competitive personality (I.e me walking into my bedroom finding my mom trying on jeans that don’t fit me anymore and her commenting that they look super great on her, me getting involved in a sport and then my mom becoming an instructor in said sport, me redecorating my house and my mom saying how much she would do differently)

So really, I guess my concern is that this is going to turn into one of those situations. Where she knows many of my ideas but is in a place where her partner can do them on a grand scale (financially wise). But to answer your question, no I am certainly not upset that my mom is getting married before me. I love both her and her fiancé!

And sorting through my own feelings, I know that at the end of the day I just shouldn’t care and proceed with my plans accordingly. I guess I just anticipate planning mine a year from now and getting competitive commentary about my plans from her, and I worry how that could affect what should really be a happy time.

I think you are upset for no reason. Let tour mom have her big day and you have yours. If you are worried about her doing things the same as you just don’t tell her your plans. Keep things to yourself while she does her thing.

Thank you guys for your messages. They really did help me rationalize through my initial reaction. I’m just going to take a deep breath and be there for her for her happy day

I'm trying to understand what the conflict is? Are you worried she's going to take the ideas you want for your wedding? Your day will be special no matter what.

You’re not engaged yet, it’s a year apart and I doubt you’ll have all the same guests. I think this is so cute though I can’t even imagine my mom planning a wedding lol

View Quoted Comment As someone who has experienced similar things with their mother, you’re not being irrational. Stay strong! This does go deeper than what it appears on the surface and you are very entitled to your feelings. Just take a deep breath anytime you are feeling this way.

A year apart is plenty of time. And even IF she chooses the same venue and color palette (not likely), your weddings would be so different! And your friends wouldn’t likely overlap either.

View Quoted Comment Ah, I see. Well, if you’re worried about her taking some of your ideas, be selective on what, if anything, you share as far as details.
And think of it this way, she goes first, so you can let her try the idea first and you can get ideas from her. OR, share some decore and save money!
Either way, both weddings will be fabulous in their own ways.

View Quoted Comment Even though I haven't been there with my mom, I have been there with my cousins. They were always considered "better than me" based on weight, height and financial status. Super annoying. I don't think this is irrational. I think you want your special day and for it to not have someone trying to be better than you. It is totally understandable. Would I say anything? Probably not. Also, in that amount of time. Your look could totally change! I've changed my florals about three times now and my wedding date has only been set for about a month now. New ideas will flow in and your mom (if she does steal your ideas) will be stuck with the old and you will rock the new!

I would put her on an “information diet”. Basically be vague or give noncommittal responses when talking about wedding ideas. Don’t tell her things like your wedding colors or whatever cute ideas you might come up with. Let those things be a surprise for her, and you won’t have to worry about her stealing or trying to show them up.

I think a year is enough time in between that people won’t even remember the details of your mom’s wedding. Your day will be special because it is what you want. Plus think of it this way. You will have a whole year to make sure the details are just what you and your partner want.

I see no issue and I’m really having a hard time even understanding what you’re upset about. Your mother is announcing her engagement before because...she’s engaged...and you’re not.

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Don't tell her anything else about what you for your wedding. If she specifically asks your opinion about something for hers, stay noncommittal and tell her you're sure whatever she decides will be great.

Don't give her anymore opportunity to "steal" your plans. You'll have plenty of time to plan out your wedding after hers is over!

View Quoted Comment Exactly this. You're making something out of nothing

Yes it sucks to have your mom 'steal your season' but you're a year apart not a month apart. I understand why you feel upset, but i definitely think you should let it go.

Set that Pinterest board on private and don't share your plans! It'll all work out A lot can change in 2 years! My original vision has been altered drastically over the course of planning. Your wedding will be amazing!

I would feel the same but at the same time you arent engaged yet so you cant really claim any dates, plans or anything since its just an idea? I have a friend that EVERY time I would talk about my real wedding plans and ideas (Im getting married in May) she would interrupt me and talk about her dream wedding when she and her guy arent engaged or ever close to being. It was so obnoxious. So yes a bit out of line, you should help her plan and then she can give you advice and maybe if its the same 'theme' all her left over decor and such to save money! Just try to be positive about it!

I would make a new secret Pinterest board! Be vague with your details when the time comes!