My *brilliant* mother decided to go & tell my future mother in law something about my sister's in laws had money & paid for nearly their whole wedding (while they do have more money than my parents, they did NOT pay for "nearly everything"). My MIL has already paid for my dress, catering, plans on paying for linens, plates, flatware/silverware. MIL told my fiancé all this in confidence that now she feels like my mother intends for her to pay for everything & also comments that the amount of money we're spending, we could have made a down payment on a house.
I am so embaressed my mom even brought up my sister's in laws. They are none of my MIL's concern. I have no idea what context it was brought up in but regardless, it made her feel this way & she's been so gracious. I have no idea what to say to my mom, but would very much so like to put her in her place about that.
& I'm angry & hurt about my MIL's financial help apparently coming with strings. We never asked for financial help. She kept saying "Well I don't want you to start out in debt". We HAD a plan & budget in which we would get no help - but they didn't like it & stepped in. I don't know what I can say to her to set boundaries about comments like those without biting the hand that's been feeding & seeming ungrateful.