Mom wants to sit with just her family

Tbh, I would let her sit with who she was comfortable sitting with. You don’t want to make a big deal out of something small like seating arrangements. Maybe sit your partner’s family near by if you think it’s important.

We had my family at one table and my husband’s family at another

View Quoted Comment Bottom line, that is what your mom asked for. She is a big girl and can make her own decisions about who she wants to sit with. I wouldn’t waste any more time or energy trying to make decisions that YOU feel are best for her. She has already told you what SHE feels is best for her, so believe her. Honor her wishes. Let her sit with who she wants to sit with. If she is unhappy with the situation on the day of your wedding, that is on her. She asked for it, and she can make the best of it.

View Quoted Comment Adding on... if you seat her with the people she requests to be sat with and she has a bad time, she will only have herself to blame. If you don’t honor her wishes and sit her with people she specifically requested NOT to be sat with and ends up having a bad time, she is going to blame YOU for it. And some moms can hold that grudge and grind that ask for a very very long time. I wouldn’t want to risk having to hear about what a horrible time she had at your reception because you didn’t listen to her five years from now.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. She will end up blaming me whether I listen to her wishes or not.

View Quoted Comment I guess it comes down to this: you got on a public forum and asked people for their opinions because you didn’t know how to handle the situation. Everybody has said the same thing- allow your mother to sit with who she wants. Yet you seem to be pushing back against that idea and giving every reason you can think of to not honor her wishes. It seems like you really don’t want anyone’s opinions and you are just going to do whatever you want to do anyway. So I’m kind of confused why you even asked 🤔

I just think this is one of those things you have to just step aside on or risk your day becoming a situation. What is more important to you.... that she sets with other people shes not requesting to set with or avoiding unnecessary stress? Its just tables and chairs. People get up and move around during weddings anyways and you never know she just might end up at a table you didnt put her at anyways if she wanted too.

What she is asking for is extremely common. Just as there are many brides on here who do not want to spend much time with people they don't know on their wedding day, many many parents feel the same. Theyay a tially like the orber family,and the friends. But on wedding day want to sit and talk and be emotional with friends of long standing, not where they have to watch whatever they say and listen carefully. And a lot the bridal party don't
want to mix with the guys, and their dates, and the women stay with their own dates and families. Unless the men and women of the WP grew up with each other , they often do not particularly like or want anything to do with the others. Why do you want to make her sit and mix with people she does not want to be with? If they cannot change seats, they will simply leave the reception. Go to the restroom and not come back, and meet their date or friend at the door. How will it help you to have your mom unhappy? And other people leave? The only weddings I every remember seating mixed in for the two families, the kids met when little because the parents were already friends. Otherwise, NO.

View Quoted Comment I absolutely agree with this. If your mom wants to sit with her family then let her. It's very common for people from the same family to be seated with each other at the reception. If I was your mom I'd be pretty annoyed to be seated at a table where I don't feel comfortable especially after I expressed to you my concern. Not everyone is outgoing enough to be comfortable seated with other people they aren't usually around.

View Quoted Comment No it’s the fact that she isn’t comfortable sitting with anyone because she doesn’t want to talk with the friends wives or anyone I sit her with. She will blame me either way for seating her with anyone

View Quoted Comment Oh well in that case I'd still seat her where she asked and then when she blames you, you can tell her how you put her exactly where she asked to be so it's her own fault. Sounds like she is just one of those difficult unable to please people.

View Quoted Comment Yes she is. She will complain about where she is sitting and blame me either way even if it’s her fault

View Quoted Comment I agree 100%. I’m seating people by who they will feel comfortable with. Especially with Covid being a factor these days. If it will put her at ease, it will ultimately put you at ease. It’s just seating. Most people mingle and only sit for dinner anyway.

My ILs had a table with their family, and my parents had a table with their friends, and some of my friends.

And they totally talked and danced and hung out with each other, but it was easier and made more sense for the families to sit at separate tables. This is so common as to be unnoticed, if you do it.

I would sit family together. So bride with bride’s family. I wouldn’t put your mom with his family. There’s nothing wrong with getting up and going to talk to each other. Honestly my party I’m having my MIL do her tables and I do my side with my mom help. That’s what I would do.