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LaToia
Savvy June 2022

Mom Takeover

LaToia, on October 25, 2019 at 6:26 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 11
I was looking forward to my mother helping me plan, but then everything became what she liked nd didn't like and what she wants, so I backed off of the planning because she kind of ruined my excitement. I want her to help me, I am the only girl and I don't want to exclude her but she is making this experience a really bad one for me. Has anyone ran into this, if so what did you do?

11 Comments

Latest activity by LaToia, on October 26, 2019 at 2:18 PM
  • Jocelyn
    Devoted December 2019
    Jocelyn ·
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    Is she helping with the cost of the wedding? Because she does have some say when it comes to certain things but not Everything? Maybe having a talk with her letting her know you have to plan it the way you want but would still like input here and there. You may have to start doing what you want and the showing her later. My dad was the bigger voice on my wedding than my mom lol I listened to him on mostly everything and used most his suggestion and other stuff i just did and didn't tell him. Sometimes silence is the best answer or just agreeing with her in the moment and then doing what you want.

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  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
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    Jocelyn is right, is she helping with the cost of the wedding? My mom gave her input, but she knows she can't sway my decisions cause I am paying for everything (with my fiance). Maybe you should slowly stop including her in certain things that you know you are very passionate about and telling her you've got this.

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  • LaToia
    Savvy June 2022
    LaToia ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    My parents are paying for the food, which they completely changed what I wants for my menu, so I settled for that, but we are paying for everything else, and I don't mind her input, but she is like on complete takeover. She even tried to get me to change the date cause she didn't like it. We have argued because I cut back on including her.

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  • Monique
    Master December 2019
    Monique ·
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    My mom was this way. She would get super mad when I held My ground but afterwards come back and realize it is after all my wedding. It’s a matter of being respectful and telling her that it is your wedding and these are the things you want.
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  • Shelby
    Expert November 2020
    Shelby ·
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    You are not alone! My mom started acting this way as well and made me feel totally bummed about even planning 😕 but now I’m just trying to ignore it the best I can and telling her I’m going to do what I want. FH and I are paying for everything except my dress. My parents are paying for the dress, which my mom hated on the rack but liked on me. Now she wishes I would pick something more with like a shoulder cover instead of spaghetti strap like it is. Hopefully she won’t actually make me want to change it 🤞
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  • Kendra
    Dedicated November 2019
    Kendra ·
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    I had the same issues. You have to let her know you feel like it’s becoming her wedding versus one of your own
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  • S
    Devoted October 2019
    Summer ·
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    I had the same problem, I had to sit her down and tell her exactly what she was doing and how it was making me feel.
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  • S
    Dedicated October 2019
    Shannon ·
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    A couple times I calmly talked with my mom about the things she was suggesting or telling me to do. I would tell her I appreciate her help, but that we weren't doing that thing because of this reason. I just had to take a breath a lot and remind myself to approach it how I would want to be approached if the roles were reversed.
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  • Caitlin
    Devoted September 2021
    Caitlin ·
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    I had major fears about this too when my mom became a little too interested in my wedding plans for my liking, started convincing me to have things that she wanted because that's how you do a wedding or because that's how she did it. I finally had to sit her down and say "Mom, it's my wedding, and I have a set vision for how this is going to work. I welcome your feedback, but I'm really scared of you taking the control away from me and I don't want that to come between us." Of course it also helps if you are paying for your own wedding. My fiance and I have a policy of "You can pay all you want, but you can't buy a thing", meaning we are grateful for and cherish any help anyone gives us, but (parents) can't just pay for what they want to have there. At the end of the day, it's our wedding.
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  • Caitlin
    Devoted September 2021
    Caitlin ·
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    Forgot to mention that my mother and I are pretty close, that might help too... And she agreed to what we had to say and did back off a lot.
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  • LaToia
    Savvy June 2022
    LaToia ·
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    We were close until i asked her to let me do this them she got an. attitude with me
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